Unforeseen Duty
by justanotherfangirl731
Summary: After the war, Hermione decides to return to a repaired Hogwarts to complete her studies whilst Harry and Ron do auror training. Unknown to everyone, Lucius Malfoy rounds up remaining Death Eaters and puts revenge on Snape, binding his soul to Hermione's. As time passes, can they learn to handle their new life bound together? Warning: Contains rape/non-con but themes do get lighter
1. Chapter 1

**Unforeseen Duty**

Summary:

After the war, Hermione decides to return to a repaired Hogwarts to complete her studies whilst Harry and Ron do auror training. Unknown to everyone, Lucius Malfoy rounds up remaining Death Eaters and puts revenge on Snape, binding his soul to Hermione's.

A/N – This won't be accurate (as Snape, Remus and Tonks are alive etc…) but it's an idea I have wanted to do to put my own spin on the effects it could have on different characters. The school will also have staffing changes, with McGonagall as Headmistress, and Remus and Tonks sharing the DADA teaching role.

 **Chapter 1:**

Hermione sighed a little as she packed the last remaining item of clothing into her small suitcase (which she had charmed to make bigger on the inside) and lifted the case up onto the bed which she had called her own in 12 Grimmauld place that summer.

She was excited to return to school to complete her rather interrupted seventh year, especially with McGonagall as head and her favourite werewolf and his kickass wife teaching DADA, but couldn't help but feel a little sad at the prospect of a year divided from the rest of the golden trio, as the Daily Prophet had subtly called them. Harry and Ron had always been at school with her, and although she had Ginny she couldn't help but fear the loneliness she would feel without them by her side. Although, she thought to herself with a smirk, she would get more work done without the trouble they seemed to attract – like a bee to honey they always got into a wide variety of sticky situations, and Hermione had had little experience of a normal Hogwarts life…

"Mione! Lunch is ready!" she heard Ron's dulcet tones holler up the stairs, and she descended the dusty, worn staircase of the safe house. She and everyone (especially Harry) had been delighted to see Sirius miraculously return from the veil, and although they knew it had been one of Dumbledore's last gifts from beyond the grave, no-one had the faintest clue how he'd managed it. Nevertheless, no one was bothered, they were too glad to have another marauder safe and well.

"Hi guys, sorry I was just packing for school." She said as she sat down beside Tonks, who was opposite Remus, at the crowded table. On her other side was Sirius, who smiled warmly at her as she looked around the room, greeting everyone. There was Sirius, Remus and Tonks, with a sleeping teddy on Tonks' knee, and also Ron, Harry, Ginny, Arthur, George (noticeably and sadly paler and skinnier after the loss of his twin), Bill, Charlie and fleur. The Weasleys had been staying at Grimmauld place since the war, grateful not to have to return to the memories of Fred at the semi-repaired burrow. Percy was absent, as he'd been working hard at the ministry, trying to resolve the chaos the country was in.

"No worries Hermione," Sirius smiled, "you'll have a great time getting back to school, I'm sure."

"Yes, and it'll be great to have two wonderful DADA teacher's this year" she motioned to a grinning Tonks and Remus," our past education has been a little, lacking…" Remus chortled and Tonks' hair brightened more, turning to a hot pink.

"I'm sure you could come and do auror training with us if you wanted 'Mione, we'll miss you terribly whilst you're at school." Ron said from across the table, and Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"I know, I just don't know what I want to do in the future, besides it'll be good to have a peaceful year without all the trouble your presence seems to bring." She said with a smile and the room chuckled happily as Molly brought out a vat of soup, plates and boards of bread and butter levitating to rest upon the table.

"Let's all dig in now shall we, thanks Molly it looks fab." Sirius said, and the room began to eat, conversing amongst themselves, as happy as they were before the war.

A few hours later, and Hermione sat by the fire next to Remus and Sirius as the two men chatted about their school lives. Tonks had gone to tuck Teddy into bed, and Harry and Ron had left for their flat in London, closer to the ministry. The Weasleys were in a different sitting room, spending family time together, and Hermione knew not to impose as they needed all the time they could get before term started tomorrow and everyone started to dissipate.

Although Hermione could have gotten the Hogwarts express, she and Ginny had decided to floo together to Hogwarts, along with Remus and Tonks – and little Teddy of course. It would be easier, and faster, and the novelty of the train journey had worn off on Hermione a long time ago. No one was bothered about safety either, so it would be a normal floo journey, not like the high security transfers they had done in the past, because why would they need to worry about security now everything was safe?

"Ahh, the joys of motherhood." A sarcastic Tonks spoke as she came into the room and flopped onto the chair. "If he cries again Remus, you can see to him because when I'm there he just morphs into a million-different people instead of sleeping." Her hair was an irritated orange, and Remus chucked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she sighed, exhausted. They had been delighted when Teddy had shown signs of being a metamorphagus instead of a werewolf, although the novelty soon wore off as the toddler struggled to control his emotions, and therefore also hadn't got a handle on his physical form.

"I said I'd tuck him in tonight Dora, of course I'll go up." Hermione smiled to herself at the couple. Dora was good for Remus, who was by far the most caring man she knew, and the two were inseparable. That was the reason for their joint position as teachers at Hogwarts. They both wanted to spend time with teddy, and both knew they couldn't stay away from each other for long. Plus, there was little work as an auror, and Tonks had wanted a more relaxed environment to raise Teddy.

"I wanted to tonight, it's his last night here before we move in properly at Hogwarts."

"I know, but- "

"No buts." She spoke firmly, stopping what could become a common depressive train of thought in Remus' mind. "he's my responsibility too, and the full moon was only a few nights ago. You need your strength we have a busy day tomorrow." Remus tightened his grip around her at that, and held her hand gently, smiling lovingly at his beloved wife.

"You okay Hermione? You seem a little quiet." Sirius asked from his armchair by the fire.

"Yeah, just a bit of first day nerves I guess. It'll be weird going back alone."

"You've got Ginny though, and me and Remus." Tonks spoke up.

"Yeah I know. It's good to go back, I miss Hogwarts."

"You'll have to have dinner with me and Tonks whilst you're there, maybe like once a week. Sirius, you should come too. That way we all stay close. I doubt Minerva will have a problem with that, given you're old enough to have left school 'Mione."

"That sounds great thanks Remus. There'll be a funny mix of ages in seventh year, with pupils repeating a year."

"I know." He spoke softly," plus the school has much lower numbers. People are still reluctant of the safety after everything that happened. It's sad really, Hogwarts was the safest place in the country."

"Yeah I know. So much has changed in so little time."

"It'll get better though." Remus grinned at his wife, "as Dora seems to insist on reminding me whenever I stop smiling."

Tonks poked his ribs playfully chuckled. "It's because," she said between pokes "you have a resting sad face that looks like you've been slapped by a soggy haddock."

Sirius and Hermione shared a grin at the couple, before the two decided to leave Remus and Tonks to their poking fight and head to bed, saying farewell along the way.

Hermione entered her room, breathing a last farewell to the place as she got changed and into bed, falling into a dreamless sleep.

The sun woke Hermione up early, soft dawn light creasing onto her duvet as she stretched her legs out comfortably. The time was seven am, and she rose, seeing an owl tap softly at her window. She let it in, and gave the owl a knut before getting the letter from its claw. It was not a Hogwarts owl, she noticed, which was odd given the familiar crest on the envelope, and the owl was missing the Hogwarts ankle tag that marked the school owls. It was a tawny owl, and one she had never seen before, with a black tag marking its ankle that she also didn't recognise.

Although it was curious, she had no reason to doubt the authenticity of the letter, which was from Professor McGonagall, and it read,

Dear Miss Granger,

I hope this letter finds you well. Upon your return to Hogwarts, please meet me in my office, to discuss some important matters. I am also delighted to inform you that you have been selected as Head Girl, along with Neville Longbottom as head boy. Congratulations, you both deserve it so much. I know you wish to floo to Hogwarts, but because of your headgirlship, I would rather you take the train with Mr Longbottom.

Kind Regards, Professor Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

She grinned widely at being made head girl, she had hope it might be her, and it made her heart flutter with joy. The train journey would be pleasant too, and if it was her last opportunity, she supposed it would be nice to have a final train journey.

Skipping into the kitchen, a bemused Tonks and Molly smiled at her happiness, whilst Teddy morphed his her brown and curly, just like hers.

"Have a good sleep 'Mione?" Tonks enquired grinning,

"Better. I've been made head girl!" Tonks grinned and Molly squealed, hugging her tightly.

"Well done dear, you really deserve it. Now, have some pancakes, we need to fatten you up for the journey." A mountainous stack of chocolate chip pancakes appeared in front of the three (or four if you count Teddy) and they tucked in to the meal happily.

A little later, and the others also came down, congratulating Hermione on her news and wishing her luck for the train trip, for which she would have to leave early. With a broad smile, she said her goodbyes and flooed to the station with her case, ready for the long journey.

She arrived, a little disoriented from the floo, and stepped from the concealed fireplace in the station, which was hidden from muggles.

Before she was in plain sight however, a crack behind her made her jump with fear, as a hand covered her mouth and a spell was muttered softly from sly lips, knocking her unconscious.

When Hermione woke, all she was sat in a dark cell with no natural light and a thin bulb hanging from the ceiling. Afraid and confused, she searched her person for her wand, but couldn't find it, and her breathing quickened as she tried to work out what had happened.

Why would someone do this? How would anyone even know that she was getting the train? She wondered, before remembering the unfamiliar owl that had delivered her letter, informing her of the changed transport plans. Had it been intercepted? Forged? The happiness of being head girl quickly faded with the realisation that she may not make it back to Hogwarts alive or sane.

Questions swirled in her head when the door suddenly opened, and a masked figure wearing death eater clothes grabbed her chained hands and dragged her stumbling out of the room and down a corridor.

There can't be death eaters. Hermione thought to herself fearfully. Who would they serve? Why? She continued silently long the dimly lit corridor when she was taken into another room, with a cold metal table in the centre.

She was forced to sit, and magical bounds pinned her to the location as she was gagged with a cloth. She was left alone, before shortly after another man was brought through. Her eyes widened at the sight as she recognised him.

It was Snape.

With a bruised eye, he looked a little worse for wear, and his eyes widened as he saw her, before he too was gagged and bound, a few feet next to her.

Before she had time to analyse the situation, a face she recognised well entered the room, with more masked death eaters following. It was Lucius Malfoy.

"Good day, Miss Granger, professor Snape." He greeted icily, and the death eaters stood behind him in a line, watching behind their masks. The room was chilled, but this wasn't what sent a shiver down Hermione's spine.

As he saw they were unable to reply, he continued. "Now, I have spent the last few months trying to formulate some sort of revenge for you, Severus." He said the name as if it were poison, the syllables rolling off his tongue with utter contempt.

"First, you betray my master, and play an important part in his downfall. This would be bad enough, but you also turn my son into an ally of the wrong side, causing his and my wife's betrayal."

Severus paled, knowing Malfoy was out for revenge. Cold, hard, merciless revenge.

"How, I wonder, can we get payment for your crimes?" he paced in front of them, mock thinking on his face. Hermione knew he had an answer.

Without explanation, he began to murmur incantations. Hermione had no idea what they meant, only that she felt cold daggers slicing the surface of her skin. Dark magic? She wondered, but what she didn't know.

She glanced towards Snape, and wished she hadn't. He knew, that much was obvious from his struggling and the horror in his eyes. The physical pain they both felt hardly seeming to affect him, she could tell this magic couldn't mean good things.

After a moment of insufferable silence, Lucius stopped, a pleased look on his evil face.

"Severus, kindly inform Miss Granger of the spell I just performed." He removed their gags, and the death eaters left the room. Only Lucius, her and Snape remained.

"I-I don't know what it was." He said, but Lucius smacked him across the face, leaving angry mark on his cheek.

"Don't lie to me, or it'll be the cruciatus curse."

"Well. Miss Granger, erm…" She looked at him as he trailed off, trying to control her breathing.

"What was it Professor?"

"A soul bond. A very old, very dark type of magic. You won't have found books on it, it's too ancient."

She paled slightly. Looking at Lucius with fear in her brown eyes, she asked him, "What does it mean?"

"Well Miss Granger," Lucius replied smugly, "you and Severus here have been bonded. Your souls are now connected, so you feel each other's pain, and hear their thoughts. These thoughts take effect a week after the bond."

"Why would you do that though? What's the point?"

"Well I haven't reached the best part yet. I wish to hurt Severus as much as possible: in a way that requires him to have to hurt someone else. True revenge will be eternal. The full bonding requires a physical aspect." The pit of Hermione's stomach dropped and she glanced at Severus who was looking down at his hands, even paler than usual.

"To consummate your bond, like in a marriage if you wish, you must bond physically after the verbal bond. Then, this physical bond must be repeated every week, or more often, forever. If you don't, you will both die. If you bond with another person or intimately touch them, you will also both die." Hermione felt like her stomach had dropped and she was falling off a very high skyscraper.

Then, with a flick of his wand, Lucius threw her across the room, removed her clothes and bound her magically to the cold table. She screamed, but no one was there to hear her.

"I am aware, that you may require some, encouragement to fulfil this act. I will kindly assist. Imperius." He spoke, pointing his wand at Snape, who fell into the trance. Under Lucius' orders, he approached Hermione, a blank expression on his face.

Lucius' eyes glinted evilly as Snape dropped his trousers, climbing onto the table. She closed her eyes, ignoring the pain of him thrusting into her roughly, ignoring the laughs of Lucius. She ignored the tears rolling down her cheeks as her virginity was take, ignored the pain of him entering her again and again, ignored the bruises forming on her wrists and thighs and waist where his hands gripped her too tightly.

She ignored everything, painfully numb as she was overwhelmed, everything was too much. She was unaware of the sobs wracking her body as he finished inside of her with a groan before he slid off her shaking, naked body. Lucius dragged Severus from the room, and she was alone once more, passing out through sheer vulnerability when everything became too much to handle.

She woke with a start, opening her eyes to the feeling of her clothes being put on magically and Lucius removing the bounds, moving her against her will to stand in front of him and keeping her there.

She couldn't speak, but looked fearfully into his cold eyes, trembling a little as she tried to steel her fractured nerves.

"Well now revenge has been done, filthy mud blood. Severus has returned to the castle, and is eating at the feast as we speak." She shuddered at the mention of his name and then panic rose as she realised she was missing from the feast. How could she explain her absence? What would she do? No one could find out, it would be too painful.

"You too shall be returned to the castle, and I shall let you make your explanations to your friends and teachers explaining your missing presence. Your case is here, and I have dressed you in your school uniform, discarding your horrible muggle attire. Do not try to find us, this has been the death eater's last mission, and we will not be traceable. You know how to apparate, so I suggest you do so and get out of my sight, your dirty blood disgusts me." He pulled a face, handing her her wand as she stood, completely perplexed. "Enjoy the revenge, Severus has earned it…" he said, disapparating into a black cloud as she was left alone with her thoughts.

Once she had calmed slightly – enough to apparate - she apparated just outside the school grounds, hurrying inside and unsure where to go. She's somehow gathered enough strength not to splinch herself, but her resolve was fading fast. Everything was so overwhelming, she had no idea where to go or what time it was or if the feast was done. She walked briskly down the corridor, heading in the direction of the common room – she couldn't go to the feast now, it would be too obvious if she made an entrance.

She couldn't talk to anyone either, it had to be secret she was too ashamed of what had happened. Where would she go? She had no idea.

Then a door she recognised only too well appeared, it was the room of requirement.

Remus Lupin and Tonks sat at the table in the great hall, growing incredibly anxious as to the whereabouts of Hermione Granger. She hadn't arrived by train, Neville had said when he reported to McGonagall, and the headmistress had put out a search party for the aurors to try to track her down, but it was unsuccessful. They had no leads, no one knew where she could be or how she could have disappeared.

Trembling fingers gripped their cutlery as they tried to eat, they had given a wave after brief introductions to the pupils, whose warm response had been ignored for the worry in the pits of their stomach. They had fed Teddy, who was in his high chair asleep, and after not too long the feast was over.

All the students exited excitedly, and so did the professors after not too long, leaving Tonks and Remus with McGonagall. Snape lingered for a moment, and Lupin asked him if everything was okay before he grunted and left. Remus caught a strange scent from Snape, but was unable to pinpoint it as the pale, deathly looking man quickly exited the great hall. He couldn't recall what the scent reminded him of, but shook it from his mind, focusing on Hermione.

"Remus, Tonks, hello." McGonagall smiled, nerves showing through on her face. Hermione was a dear student to her, and she couldn't bear it if something had happened.

"Still no news?" asked Tonks dejectedly, the young woman was growing worried for Hermione's wellbeing, there had to be a reason for her absence.

"No, unfortunately not Tonks, Remus?" the older woman questioned the man, who was staring at the windows that led to the outskirts of the grounds.

"I think I can smell her. Sorry that sounds so horrible, but she's in the castle."

"But where, the castle is huge!" Tonks cried, a little less worried, but still anxious.

"Minerva, do you still have the marauders map confiscated?"

Umbridge had taken the map after her year at the school, leaving it in the head's office. The three of them retrieved the map, and sure enough there was Hermione, in the room of requirement.

"Why would she go there? Shall we go and find her?" Tonks asked, glad the girl was now on the grounds.

"I think perhaps you should go, Tonks. She is quite close to you and might find you the easiest to talk to."

Nymphadora nodded. "Remus, can you put Teddy to bed please? I'll go and see her."

"Of course, good luck, call us if you need." He gave her a brief kiss before she left.

After a minute of conversation between Minerva and Remus, there was a knock at the door, before a rather pained Severus walked in.

"Severus, what is wrong? Are you okay?" the older woman asked, worried at the expression on his face.

"I'll go put Teddy to bed. Ask Dora to let me know if she manages to find Hermione." Remus said, sensing his presence was unwanted for the conversation, and he left, Teddy on his hip.

"Why do I get the feeling that this has something to do with Hermione?" Minerva asked softly, gesturing for Severus to sit opposite her in the armchair. Instead, he stood facing the opposite direction looking out of the window to the black lake, and explained everything that had happened to the older woman.

"Oh Severus…" she responded once he had finished. Snape was – despite what everyone thought – a good man, and the fact that they both would have to do this against their will for the rest of their lives was something that troubled Minerva immensely.

"Please, do not inform the others of the exact, arrangements. I have a plan for the weekly meetings we must make."

"I won't, don't worry. And, go on."

"Well, due to the unexplained absence of Miss Granger, I think if you say she was tortured by the death eaters, that would be wise, after all, it's accurate." He ignored her disagreements and carried on. "Tell the staff that, and that I am teaching her occlumency to help her to block out thoughts caused from the event. You could say I… found her at the Malfoy manor, if you wish."

"I must say, that is a good plan Severus. Now, I must find Miss Granger and Tonks, to help make sure matters are well informed. "

"Very well. Goodnight, and thank you, Minerva."

"No problem, and I'm sorry Severus, none of this is your fault, remember that."

He disappeared without a word, and Minerva headed to the room of requirement's supposed location, finding Tonks outside. No door was there, but sobbing could be heard from inside.

"Hello, Minerva. Is everything okay?"

"I had a word with Severus, he informed me of what happened to Hermione. It's well… I think you should get Remus and I'll let you both know. He wasn't there, but arrived afterwards as he thought she may have been taken by the death eaters. They had indeed taken her."

Around an hour later, and Remus and Minerva sat on the sofa in their living quarters, next to a pacing Tonks with angry crimson hair.

"The poor girl. To be tortured at such a young age, and with the cruciatus too! I thought the death eaters were gone! Why would they do that! I'm going to kill them when I get my hands on them… that Malfoy won't be the same…" she rattled on until Remus stood, stopping her.

"Sweetheart, please try to stay calm. We can help Hermione, but only if we are strong enough to be there for her."

These words soothed Tonks, who sat once more in a chair, checking the marauders map. Hermione had been in the same spot for some time, and it was decided again that Tonks would go and get her, bringing her back to the hospital wing where she would stay tonight so she could be watched over.

Unbeknownst to the couple, whilst Tonks got Hermione Minerva had informed Madam Pomfrey of the real truth, knowing the woman with such a great medical experience would likely work it out on her own. The Healer had been horrified at the truth, and immediately prepared a bed for the female student who would arrive shortly. She – much to the headmistress' relief – had not blame Severus, after all, what could be done? There was no way out and being angry would only worsen things.

"'Mione?" Tonks knocked on the door which had appeared from the room, and heard a muffled cry of pain before she gave up waiting for a response and entered. The room of requirement was changed into a bedroom, not unlike the staff quarters, and Hermione was curled into a little ball against the wall, sobbing quietly.

Tonks approached the younger woman cautiously, not wanting to alarm her. "Hermione, it's Tonks. Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I just want to know you're okay."

Hermione lifted up her head and looked at Tonks fearfully. She nodded once, wiping her tears and sniffing before speaking, "I'm alright, it's okay."

"It's not okay, but it's going to be now, you're safe, the death eaters can't get you now."

"What do you mean? Wait, how do you know what happened?" she stood, backing away from Tonks, scared.

"McGonagall told me that Snape brought you back here after the death eaters tortured you. 'Mione it's okay, I won't hurt you, I promise I wouldn't do that."

Hermione mentally steeled herself at that moment. Snape hasn't told everyone, it's okay, she thought, relieved. She neared Tonks, smiling lightly.

"Sorry, I've been a bit upset. I know you wouldn't hurt me, you and Remus are both so kind."

"It's nothing, and we're only as kind as you are." Tonks was relieved to see the girl calm a little and stop backing away. "Now, Remus gave me a present to give to you." She said with a small grin and pulled out a chocolate bar for the girl. They sat next to each other on the bed as she ate it, and Hermione felt blessed for how kind the older woman was; what a great mother she was to Teddy and what a great professor she would make.

Maybe, she thought to herself hopefully, it would all be okay in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – Thanks to everyone who's favourited and followed so far! I know this isn't perfect, it's a big learning process for me as it's my first work, but I'm going to try to make it as good as I can! Please review if you've got any tips or general questions or anything really… I'll PM you a reply if it's about the plot or I'll just answer it in the A/N of the next chapter. It's my half term at the moment which is why the updates are quite often, but I'm going to try to keep them regular when I go back, although it's my GCSE year so I have no promises!

Thanks Hammylammy for the review : )

Thanks 😊 I really appreciate you reading this, enjoy! x

 **Chapter 2:**

Light shone onto Hermione's face as dawn broke and she escaped the potion-induced dreamless sleep and woke to another day. Everything was different today, she knew that she wouldn't be the same, but with true Gryffindor determination she steeled her courage. She could at least attempt to live with this, as awful as it was, and she had people to help her.

"Hermione? Are you awake?" the gentle voice of Madam Pomfrey caught her ears, and the healer's face popped round the curtain.

"Morning." Hermione spoke softly, trying to ignore the way her voice croaked after so much crying the day before.

The healer engaged in a brief conversation about how she felt, before performing a few diagnostic spells to check her vitals. Once satisfied, she sat on the edge of Hermione's bed, looking at the young woman who was staring at her hands.

"Is everything okay? When can I go to classes?" She asked worriedly. She desperately wanted everything to just be normal again, and although she knew that couldn't happen, trying to go back to school and act normally would make her feel better. Plus, with seven classes this year, she knew she couldn't miss too much.

"Everything is physically better, Hermione. The bruises have gone with the spells I used, and there is no other physical damage. Internally, I have fixed everything and performed a cleansing spell, I thought you'd find that comforting." The older witch paused, pursing her lips for a moment. "How do you feel emotionally, Hermione?"

"I could be better, could be worse. You know the truth, don't you? D-Did _he_ tell you?" she said, small voice so unlike the slightly brash one the intelligent witch usually heard coming from her mouth.

"Myself and Professor McGonagall are the only ones aware. She was the one to inform me, after he went to tell her the truth. I know you must feel awful, and I want to tell you that it will be better, but it may not for a long time given the circumstances. However," she pursed her lips again, and looked down at Hermione lying still in the hospital bed. "you are a strong young woman, and I have no doubts that your future will be bright and prosperous, no matter what is happening now. You know why?"

"Why?"

"You're a Gryffindor, and I can already see your courage shining through. After all, even though you had been through a terrible ordeal, you could apparate here safely. You survived and you will survive. Don't forget that dear. I am always here if you need to talk to someone. There. That's the cheesy rant over." she chuckled softly to herself.

"Thank you, it means a lot." She looked up, a soft, small smile forming on her lips. "Do you think I could go back to school soon, and go back to my common room?"

"I think, if you feel ready to do so, then that would be fine. Professor McGonagall also wishes to meet you in her office, to discuss your situation and the matter of you being head girl. You will have a new common room to go back to, and a room to yourself across from Neville's. He's a sweet boy, I'm glad its him who's head boy, he deserves it after everything."

"I'm glad too. I will get changed then, if you don't mind, and go to speak to the headmistress." Madam Pomfrey agreed and left to tend to other matters, giving the girl space to change. Once alone, as she changed into her robes she finally started to process the happenings of the last 24 hours. She was bound to Snape, forever. And, she'd have to 'renew' those vows each week. The thought alone brought a cruel chill to her, memories of losing her virginity in such a painful way had re-appeared and she didn't really know how to deal with them, so she tried to bury them down, focussing instead on the task of dressing herself.

Shirt on, buttons down up. The tie was tied expertly, and muscle memory reminded her to pull on her jumper and skirt, then socks and finally to buckle her shoes. The simple task alone had exhausted her, and she sat on the bed wondering what to do next. She folded the hospital gown neatly and placed it on the pristine sheets, the madam Pomfrey popped in with a piece of toast, some hot sweet tea and a variety of potions.

"Hello dear, it is good to see you in your uniform. I know you probably aren't hungry, but try to eat and drink, and here are some potions for you. There's a strengthening potion, take a small vial full when needed or three times daily with food; a dreamless sleep potion for you to take before bed; a wakening potion to take to get rid of the drowsiness from the sleeping potion; and I've got this one as well." She motioned to the smallest of the bottles, a dark violet liquid. "it's a contraceptive. One drop is needed after each time. Put it on the tongue. I've already given you one after yesterday, don't worry. It works for 24 hours after, so make sure you remember it on time, although I know it's not something you'll forget to take."

"Thank you, that's very thoughtful. If they run out, can I get more from you?" she asked, worried at the thought of possibly having to ask Snape.

"Anytime my dear, now please try to finish that food, I want you to have strength enough to leave here, okay. I believe your case has been taken to your room, and breakfast has just ended, so you can miss the first double to get settled. Oh, and the password for the headmistress's office is apple gumdrops" With a brief nod of assent, madam Pomfrey left Hermione to her breakfast, satisfied.

Once outside the office, Hermione felt a ripple of anxiety in her stomach before she knocked sharply on the door, twice. Once the door opened, she walked in, seeing professor McGonagall sat behind the grand desk.

"Hermione, good to see you looking a little better today. I trust your physical injuries have been seen to?"

"Yes, I've just been discharged."

"Good good. Well, shall we get down to the matter at hand?" after a small nod from Hermione, she continued. "I spoke to Professor Snape last night, after you had been found. He informed me of all that happened." Hermione took a deep breath, steadying her rapid pulse rate.

"I have not told anyone other than madam Pomfrey, and you can be assured of her confidentiality. The staff and remaining order members have been told in a staff meeting this morning that you were tortured by the death eaters, but they won't know the truth, unless you wish them to know."

"No, I don't. They… Wouldn't understand and it would just confuse things."

"I understand. There is also the matter of your required weekly meetings with Professor Snape." She reached over and touched the girl's shoulder comfortingly. "I have said, in the meeting, that he will be teaching you occlumency in an attempt to help you deal with the thoughts after such an encounter. These can take place in the evening when you are supposed to be on patrol on a Tuesday evening, if that's okay?" Hermione nodded once, fingers trembling slightly.

"Now, here is your timetable, and the password for your head pupil's dormitory is courage united. Do you want to continue to study potions?"

"Erm, I think so, yes. It's important to my future really…" She hadn't thought about the fact that she would still be taught by him. The thought made tears well in her eyes, and she quickly blinked them back.

"Very well. If you would like to speak to me, or need anything, please come and find me, my dear. I wish you the best of luck in all of this."

"Thanks, professor. I'd best be going now." She smiled at the older witch, who smiled back, and left the room, heading to her new common room.

"Courage united." She spoke to the portrait of a lion on the second floor, and it swung open, allowing her to climb inside. Taking a look around the room, she was in awe of the sight she saw. It was beautifully cosy, with bookshelves around every wall and two sofas with a table between them in the entre. There was also a lovely fire with two armchairs beside it, the dull crackle and warm flames brightening the room. Near the two staircases at the back, there was a table with two chairs and a set of two goblets, plates and cutlery. She merely had to think of food and it would appear.

In a slight state of shock, she climbed up the girl's staircase on the left, her hand trailing on the marble bannister. She opened the door, and was amazed to see a beautiful double four poster bed, with a wardrobe, chest of drawers, desk and chair, dressing table and a bathroom with a bath, shower toilet and sink. The days of waiting for hours as Lavender fritted with her hair were over, she thought with a chuckle. The colours were all red and gold, and Hermione sat on the smooth sheets of the bed and started to unpack her case, which she had found on the chest of drawers.

Once unpacked, she cast a quick tempus charm, seeing that the time was eleven - break time. After that, she looked at her timetable, seeing on the Wednesday (September 2nd) she had transfiguration before break, then charms before lunch, then after that DADA, ancient runes and arithmancy. The timetable was busy for this year, but she decided it was a good thing, as she didn't really want to much time to think at the moment. She quickly used the toilet, glad to see the bruises had faded, before washing her hands and going downstairs, delighted to see Neville and Ginny sat on the sofa in the common room.

"Hermione!" Ginny called out and the girl ran up to hug her, making Hermione freeze at the physical contact before hugging her back.

"Hi Ginny, hi Neville. It's good to see you both."

"We've been so worried! Where were you yesterday, are you okay?"

"I-Erm, yeah, shall we sit down and I'll explain."

They all took a seat on the comfy red leather sofas and Hermione told them the truth that had been told to the staff and order members. After explaining, they both looked horrified, but glad she was okay, and they discussed more trivial matters, like Seamus's tattoo that he had gotten over the summer and Lavender's recent haircut. Then, after what felt like no time at all, it was time for Hermione to go to charms.

Professor Flitwick was delighted to see his favourite pupil, and after asking her if she was better, he started teaching the class abiut the syllabus for this year. Because it was NEWTs this year, the class would be challenging, but Hermione was relieved to recognise a lot of things they would study. The hour passed quickly, and soon it was time for lunch.

Walking into the great hall, she sat down quietly next to Ginny, with Neville opposite her. They noticed her quietness, and shared a look of concern, but decided not to comment as they tucked into the delicious food Hogwarts always had on offer. Hermione had a full plate, but couldn't concentrate on the food as she was all too aware of Snape's probable presence at the staff table. She looked towards it, and smiled at Tonks and Lupin, who returned it kindly, before glancing to the opposite end to where Snape sat.

Their eyes met, and she quickly looked away, realising he had been watching her. Her skin crawled and she struggled to remain calm, barely on top of her breathing as she put her head into her hands, trying pointlessly to calm herself down.

She could still sense his cold, empty eyes staring down at her as she had lay on the metal table, still feel his skin against hers, still feel him inside her.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Neville asked as the girl started to shake, hands on her head. The voice barely heard, she walked quickly from the room, desperate to escape as Ginny followed quickly behind her.

Once she was out of the hall, she broke into a run, climbing up the stairs to astronomy, desperate to escape. Ginny followed her to the top, trying to keep up with her friend before Hermione collapsed at the top of the stairs, chest heaving and sobs escaping her lips.

"Oh Hermione. I'm so sorry." Hermione could hear Ginny's voice saying comforting things as she calmed herself down slowly, and got control of her breathing, she held Ginny's outstretched hand, wiping the tears from her sore eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just felt like it was all happening again. I-I can't handle this, it's too much."

"It's not your fault, and this is normal. They tortured you, and it's horrible so you cry as much as you need to 'Mione, I'm here. Do you want a hug?" Hermione nodded and Ginny carefully wrapped her arms around her, holding Hermione close. After a few minutes, she was calmer, and Ginny offered her a tissue. The girl cleaned herself up and made herself look more presentable, smoothing her hair and ignoring her red eyes, before Ginny helped her up and the two made their way to DADA, their next class.

They had gotten there just as Remus arrived, and they were a little early, class not starting for another ten minutes. He invited them in, worried to see Hermione's puffy eyes after she had departed the hall so abruptly not long ago.

"Is everything okay girls?" he asked gently, setting up for the next lesson.

"Yes, thanks sir, Hermione was just a bit upset, but she's a bit better now." Ginny spoke for them, as Hermione smiled slightly, trying her best to look okay.

"if there's anything Tonks and I can do, Hermione, you need only ask." He said, and she mumbled her thanks quietly.

Remus was planning to start off the lesson with unforgiveable curses, but he figured that after Hermione's cruciatus that might not be the most tactful thing to do. He had a boggart for the practical part of the lesson, but that might not be wise either after so many of his seventh year were still dealing with the aftermath of the war. Instead, he settled on teaching patronuses, which he figured would cause the least upset.

The other ten or so pupils entered, a couple asking Hermione if she was okay, to which she nodded quietly, and they all took their seats at their desks.

"Hello class, my name – as most of you already know – is professor Lupin, and I will be one of your defence against the dark arts teachers for this year. Now, your other teacher will be my wife, Professor Tonks. We decided that having two professor Lupins teaching the same subject may prove a little confusing, so she is keeping her maiden name." a few pupils laughed, before quieting down.

"Now, I am aware that there is a lot we need to cover this year after your slightly shaky history of DADA teachers, but we will get through it all as quickly as possible. Also, I know that some of these subjects may be upsetting for some of you, and if you do not want to do the practical aspect you absolutely don't have to. Today, we will be starting with casting our patronus charms, can anyone tell me what a patronus is used for?" He looked around, a few pupils had their hands raised, but not Hermione, who was staring down at her hands glumly. He chose Ginny to answer, and then carried on with the theory part of the lesson before splitting the class into pairs, with Neville, Hermione and Ginny as a three.

"Now, to conjure a patronus, you must say the incantation: 'Expecto Patronum' and think of a very happy memory, and hopefully, it will work. Have a go amongst your groups, I will make my way round and help you." He set them off, assisting where needed and finally getting to the point where almost all the group had conjured their patronus. Hermione didn't seem to be able to, and he was worried about the young witch, who was normally so talented. As the class came to an end and everyone packed up, he asked her to remain behind so he could speak to her. Obliging, she said bye to Ginny and Neville before approaching Remus, who was sat at his desk.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Hermione?" he asked, and she nodded once. He made the tea, and she sat in the chair opposite his desk, meeting his eyes nervously. His smile calmed her racing thoughts, and she took a deep breath, feeling a little better.

"How are you coping?" he asked gently, and gave her an encouraging smile.

"I'm okay, I just can't shut up my head. I didn't ever used to have a problem producing a patronus, and I can't now I just can't focus on happy things."

"Ah, okay. I'm not worried about your academic performance, but it will get better in time, and you are safe here." Those words should have helped, but when the person Hermione feared was in the castle and she would not only have to be taught by him for four lessons a week but also sleep with him, they had little effect. Seeing this, he smelt the fear from her, and he felt a little suspicion growing inside him.

Torture would make someone scared, he was all too aware of that, especially after a war was meant to be over. But, he was still suspicious, and he wondered, why would they do that to Hermione? There had been many others more involved in the war, but she had been the only one hurt. And Snape, why had he been so fast to suspect Malfoy? He couldn't help but feel something a little deeper was happening here…

"I should probably go now, breaks almost over." Hermione spoke softly, breaking the awkward silence and luring Remus out of his thoughts. "thank you for the tea and chat, I feel a lot better now."

"Anytime Hermione. And, do you want to come to mine and Tonks' for dinner tonight? Might take your mind off of things and Sirius is coming."

"Yes thanks, that sounds lovely. Bye now, professor."

"Remus, whilst were not in lessons please, and have a nice evening, I'll see you later."

That afternoon, after arithmancy and ancient runes with a little free time Hermione had spent reading, Hermione's mood had boosted a great deal compared to how it was before. She was on her way to Remus' room, and looking forwards to the dinner as it meant there was no chance of her running into Snape at the meal. In her calmer state of mind, she knew they would have to talk eventually, and she felt it was important to try to make things as okay as possible but she couldn't bring herself to yet. She also knew she had double potions tomorrow, and was in the process of trying to psych herself up to speak to him then.

She arrived at the door, and knocked once before tonks opened it with a smile on her face. "Wotcher Hermione, good to see you looking a lot better." She said, and led her into the living room. Remus was sat by the fire with teddy on his knee, and Hermione plonked herself on the sofa next to tonks, asking them both about their days and cooing at teddy's adorableness.

There was a loud crack, they all got up quickly, and suddenly Sirius flooed into the room, greeting them all happily. He hugged Tonks, gave Remus a friendly shoulder pat, ruffled little Teddys hair and approached Hermione, arms wide for their usual greeting of a hug. Something inside her clicked and she found herself backing away, hands out in front of her to protect her. She couldn't see what was happening around her, she was back in that horrible room, on that horrible table, with the man she feared most at that moment. Sirius' kind face morphed into Snape's and his eyes hardened in her mind, becoming distant and cold. Every week she would have to repeat it, and every time she closed her eyes she was back there and it was happening but there was nothing she could do. She felt his hands on her body, felt his breath tickle her neck, felt the pain of him pushing inside her.

"Please stay away, don't touch me please! Oh merlin no." she sank to the floor, hands covering her face. as Sirius slowly backed away, Remus took teddy and led the men into the kitchen as Tonks stayed with her, not touching the girl but trying to console her with murmurs of its okay, you're safe, it's all safe now. But it wasn't safe for Hermione. After ten minutes, she was still inconsolable, and Tonks went to the kitchen to see if Remus stood a better chance of understanding what was going on in the young woman's mind. He had suffered mental illnesses before, and was probably the most equipped to deal with whatever was happening.

"Tonks, I'm sorry. I didn't realise she'd react like that." Sirius started once Remus had left the room, and she shook her head, dismissing his apology.

"Not your fault Sirius, you wouldn't have known. Look, I know you were told she was tortured, but it feels like there's more. I don't know, it's probably nothing but Remus has a hunch there's a bigger picture here. We just have to give it time I think, and see how things go." He nodded, and the two embraced to comfort each other, them Tonks went and put a sleepy Teddy to bed. After a while of silent hoping, the sad sounds subsided and they assumed she had calmed down.

"Shall I get some pizzas? I don't think anyone feels like cooking." Tonks suggested, and Sirius nodded as she went to speak to a house elf about them bringing some pizzas up for them. She returned a moment later with two large pizza boxes and the two went back into the living room to see Hermione on the sofa staring at her feet and Remus sat next to her.

Remus looked up, pained expression relieving momentarily as he saw the food and his wife and best friend. They sat opposite them on the sofa, and opened the pizzas boxes, putting them onto the table.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I don't know what came over me. I know you'd never hurt me or any of us I just…" Hermione's voice cracked a little, trailing off.

"Hermione love its fine, it's me who should be apologising. We just hope you're okay."

"Thanks."

"Shall we have some pizza? I don't think being hungry will help us." Tonks said, trying to lighten the mood and they all grabbed a slice, tucking in. They made pleasant conversation, and Hermione cheered up over the course of the evening, joining in eventually.

She was distracted, and her mind had calmed so she felt much better, feeling bad for her earlier outburst even though it wasn't her fault. She made up for it by laughing along with Sirius' corny jokes and adding her own snippets of Hogwarts drama from the great hall.

Soon, it was time for her to leave, lest she be caught outside of curfew, and she said her warm and loving farewells to her second family, no hugs this time, before stepping out and heading back to the sanctity of her common room and to bed.

Sirius also left, and Remus and tonks checked on teddy, tidying away the pizza boxes and changing for bed.

However, while sleep came easily for Sirius with the aid of fire whisky and Hermione had potions to help her, it didn't come so quickly for Tonks and Remus.

"Sweetheart? Are you asleep?" Tonks spoke out first, turning so they faced each other in the four-poster bed.

"I can't sleep either Dora." She could make out his face in the dark room.

"I just don't know what happened, what we can do. What was she like when you went in?"

"She was having a flashback, I believe. I've had them before, from when I was bitten." He cleared his throat, it was a difficult subject for him. "you feel like you're back there when the trauma happened. They feel very real and it's difficult to get out of them. She must have been triggered when Sirius reached out to hug her."

"But they said she had the cruciatus curse. Why would she be triggered by physical contact?"

"I don't know Dora. I don't know if we'll know what really happened for a long time. We just have to be there for her and help her all we can." He pulled her close, and the two fell into a fitful sleep in each others arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

 **A/N** Hey guys! I just want to say thank you to everyone who has favourited and followed this story so far! It's my first fanfiction, so it's a new experience getting so much support. I never knew there were so many people from different countries on so it's awesome to see. Also, thanks to Hammylammy for reviewing again Chapter 2: )

Please review with any feedback/suggestions, the reviews really motivate me to keep writing. There's going to be a lot more Snape in this one, and things should start getting going properly. Enjoy xx

Severus Snape was tired, depressed and at the end of his tether.

Before the last two days, things had been looking up somewhat: Voldemort was dead, most death eaters were in Azkaban and he had remained loyal to the order. However, Lucius Malfoy had screwed him over once again.

He had so much racing through his mind, he couldn't focus. His teaching had been sloppy, his conversations distracted and he hadn't slept since term started two days ago. Guilt and anger were surging through him faster than lightning, but there was no way to shut them up. He knew he could take potions, but honestly, he wanted to feel the pain after the horrors he had committed.

Pain was better than emptiness.

He sat in the early morning darkness by his window overlooking the back lake. This was a favourite spot of his to wallow in dark thoughts and sadly, he was sat there often, but it had never been this bad since Lily's death…

He had raped Hermione. Their souls were bound, and they would have to 'renew' those bindings weekly. What was worse, is that he would have to hear the know-it-all's thoughts forever.

 _Wait no_ , he scolded himself internally, _she wasn't the bushy haired, buck teethed eleven-year-old he had first met. She was almost nineteen, and had fought in the war, giving her parents up for the son of James Potter and the wizarding world which had done little but shame her for her blood and brain._ _She was brave, and a Gryffindor._

No one could deny that.

His inner teacher tried to deny that, however. Violating a pupil in such a horrific way was so illegal and immoral that it was something Severus completely despised. He had watched his father beat his mother, and had vowed never to end up the same, yet here he was, as good as married to a child who he'd just sexually assaulted, with no way out other than death.

He knew, deep down, that the Imperius could have been overridden. But, he was a coward. If he hadn't have done the physical bond, she would have died and so would he. Voldemort had experimented with soul bonds before inn front of him, Lucius and the other more trusted death eaters; they never ended well, and more often than not they ended in suicide, then the other's undue death.

He just… he knew that he wouldn't have been able to violate someone like that on his own, he wanted it not to be his fault and whether that was a good thing or not he had no idea. If he had stopped the Imperius, he could've perhaps been more gentle, saved her some pain, but he wanted her to not blame him, and she wouldn't if he wasn't in control of the situation. She would be afraid, but she would understand. He knew her well after seven years.

A knock at his door disturbed his spiralling thoughts, and he got up stiffly, grumpily answering.

"Severus. You look terrible." A rather grouchy looking McGonagall glared at him, and he knew he did. His hair was lank, his face sour and pallid and his robes probably around three days old, he'd lost track.

"Pleasure to see you too, Minerva." His voice rolled out the last syllables in a tone that said it was anything but a pleasure.

"Well, let me in. We need to have a talk."

"Of course," She sat down, transfiguring an empty bottle of firewhiskey into a comfortable chair, ignoring his sneer as she did so.

"So, what did you want, I don't have long."

"Snape, it's 4 am, how could anyone be busy?"

"I find avoiding Gryffindors challenging."

"Enough. Now, have you spoken to Miss Granger yet?" he tensed, back clenching.

"No." It seemed impossible for him to have made the short word last any longer, it was so drawn out.

"Well, you have her for double potions today. I want you to speak to her, assure her a little. She seems to be coping fairly well - considering - at present, but I want you to speak to her to try to stop her from worrying too much. She needs to know that you aren't going to hurt her."

"But, you don't understand," his voice was thick with pain, eyes looking away. "I _am_ going to hurt her, every week. And soon, all the time, I will be in her head, and she will be in mine. We have no choice other than death."

"Severus, please." Her voice was pleading and the sympathy laced within in made him queasy: he didn't deserve it. "You could cause her the least pain possible by making things at least civil. She deserves that- you deserve that. This is going to be okay eventually, or at least more manageable. Who knows, with research you may be able to remove the bond, Hermione is the brightest of her age for a reason."

"How am I supposed to speak to her? What do I say when just the thought of her makes my skin boil with guilt."

"Do you think that's going to improve if you two keep hiding from each other? Do you think you can live out the rest of your lives without having at least spoken? I know, Severus, that as a teacher and a _good_ _man_ you must find this as despicable as I do, but it's not going to change and the least you can to make sure Hermione, your student, is okay is to be there for her. You have to try, at least."

"Very well. I will ask her to stay behind after potions, but if she refuses, you are aware that I cannot and will not force her."

"She is less vulnerable than you think, Severus, but thank you. I will let you get on with things."

She bid him goodnight – or rather, very early morning, and Severus went to take a long, hot bath. His mixed-up mind was barely soothed by Minerva's attempt, but he hoped – somewhat – that he would be able to speak to Hermione today. She was braver than he thought, and no longer a child, so he knew talking may help things, or at least not make them any worse.

Hermione shivered slightly in her thin nightgown as she took her strengthening and pepper up potions for the morning, face softly illuminated in the dawn light. She didn't feel perfect, but she felt ready for the day, and she wanted to talk to Snape. As much as the prospect scared her, she had to be brave, she couldn't spend the rest of her life crying and shaking whenever she thought about it or saw him in the corridor. The only way she could allow them both to live properly was by not hiding away; Snape didn't have control in the matter – it would be unfair to blame him and make him suffer so much.

Once the potions had kicked in and she felt more awake, she stepped into the bathroom and took a long hot shower, using her favourite vanilla and strawberry body wash and shampoo. Her conditioner was a heavy-duty muggle one to tame her mane of hair, and it smelled a little of minty toothpaste.

Her mind wandered back to when she had smelt her love potion in sixth year. Fresh laundry, grass and toothpaste. Back then, it had been Ron who she loved, but even if it were possible now, they had dated for a mere month before deciding being friends was what mattered to them most, despite them both having feelings for each-other.

Hermione knew, now, that she wouldn't get a nice young boyfriend to have the classic dating experience with. She was bound to her surly, middle aged, ex-death eater potions professor with personal care/hygiene issues, and as much as it pained her, she would have to make the best of it.

She got out of the shower, stepping into the hazy mist in the bathroom as she magicked her hair and body dry before setting to work on the combination of muggle and magical hair smoothing tactics she had gathered over her years of bushy hair. Now – at least on the good days – it was much smoother than it had been, and something that had actually become one of her favourite things about herself. To her, it symbolised how much she had grown as a person, and yet how little she was affected by what other people thought. She didn't straighten it daily like Lavender or mess too much with it, but instead tried her best to enhance its natural state in a healthy way.

Descending the stairs into the beautiful common room once she was ready, she saw that Neville had been waiting for her.

"Hello Hermione, are you feeling any better today?"

"Yes, thank you Neville, how are you?" she asked, glad it was him who was head boy and not Draco or somebody intolerable.

"I'm well, where were you last night for patrols? Were you okay?"

"Oh, Neville I'm so sorry!" sudden realisation dawned upon her as she realised she had completely forgotten the patrols last night after being so upset. She felt very guilty, but Neville brushed her off.

"It's no problem, you have a lot to deal with at the moment, and Luna decided to join me so it was lovely to catch up with her. She came here on the next train because she was doing some writing somewhere foreign with her dad, but she's here now and she'll join us for breakfast. Let's go, or there'll be no bacon left." Hermione smiled a genuine smile, following him to the great hall to eat.

"Luna, good to see you!" she beamed at the blonde witch, who smiled back as she sat next to Ginny, opposite from Luna and Neville.

"And you Hermione. I spent most of my travels tracking down Nargles in South Africa so we could report it in the Quibbler – we almost got them, but then I felt I needed to be here to complete my studies. How are you?"

"I'm okay, I've been better but I'm coping."

"Ah yeah I heard about the death eaters from Neville. I'm sorry Hermione, if there's anything I can do let me know."

"Thank you Luna." Hermione smiled a little, grabbing some toast as she took a drink of butterbeer. It was lovely to be surrounded by such good friends, and with their quirks the table had a lovely cheerful atmosphere.

"So Ginny," Luna's voice started "How're things with harry?"

"Oh it's great thanks Luna!"

"So, when did he propose then?" Luna's cheeky voice piped, and Hermione gasped in happy surprise. Through everything, she hadn't realised Harry and Ginny were engaged. A twinge of guilt nestled in her stomach – two of her best friends had gotten engaged and she had been to self-centred to notice.

"Before I got on the train, it's where we first met all that time ago. Oh, Luna I knew you'd spot the ring - you see everything." Ginny was glowing as she held out her hand, the elegant silver band with a single, subtly beautiful diamond in the centre. Luna squealed happily, and Hermione found herself smiling widely for one of the first times after everything.

"Congratulations!" Neville cried, and Hermione joined him, the whole group grinning with happiness.

"Thanks guys. He and Ron are inviting us to dinner on Saturday to celebrate. We're having a little party- you're all invited of course. Remus, Tonks and Teddy are coming too I think, so I'm sure McGonagall will allow you to go."

"Oh it'll be great fun! I can't wait for the wedding too!" Luna had a grin on her face big enough to brighten the surliest slytherins, and the ravenclaw's sunny mood was contagious as they all tucked in heartily to their breakfast.

After a double lesson of ancient runes – which was one of Hermione's favourite subjects – the young witch found herself in a good mood as she walked early to the single lesson of DADA with Ginny, hoping to catch Tonks before the lesson began. They discussed the engagement as they rounded the corridor, heading towards the door, and saw Tonks waiting outside for people to come in.

"Ginny! You never said you were engaged!" the older witch cried when Ginny showed her the ring, hugging Ginny tightly and smiling at Hermione. "Congratulations it's amazing!"

"Awe thank you Tonks. We decided it was a good time, with me going back to school and Harry starting his training. I'm so happy with him."

As the two women discussed wedding plan and party arrangements, and then everyone went in and the lesson began, Hermione barely paid any attention to the lesson that was continuing around her.

Once, not long ago, she had planned to get engaged, to marry, have children. Maybe, if she'd still been available, she'd have dated Ron again. Maybe things would go further with him. She couldn't tell if she felt things for him genuinely, or because he was now unavailable. A relationship at any point in her life with anyone other than the man who had hurt her would mean death.

She would die bound to him.

There was no way of measuring the emotional claustrophobia she felt, and this was before the innermost thoughts of the two would mingle and intertwine. Would she kill herself to escape this mess? Would he? Would they both do it together, jumping from the astronomy tower late one night? Would they fall hands intertwined to the bottom of the black lake? Would they poison each other with a hand-brewed potion? The thoughts were perhaps less ridiculous than they seemed.

Or, would they grow older together, having children and marrying properly? When people found out about their sick 'relationship' they wouldn't cry with happiness like they did for Ginny and Harry. There would be no engagement parties and big white weddings for Hermione. She felt a sick, bitter, guilty and jealous grief for a life she knew she wouldn't live the same way she had hoped.

A shuddering sigh left her lips as she realised the only way out was death.

"Hermione?" Tonks had crouched opposite her, trying to meet the girl's eyes. She had sat looking down for the whole lesson, which had been a continuation on dementors and history of Azkaban. She hadn't noticed Tonks dismiss the class and had remained deep, deep in thought.

"Oh, sorry, Tonks. Got rather caught up in everything." Hermione pulled herself together, utilising the mental strength she knew she possessed.

"Is there anything specific? You can talk to me about anything, I won't judge, I've probably done/seen worse." The woman smirked slightly, standing and leaning against the desk, arms folded.

"Just, everything's different now, I suppose…" the urge to spill everything was immense, but she knew she couldn't. "Sorry, what was the lesson on? I'll catch up this afternoon." She queried, trying to change the subject in the only way she knew.

"Dementors, and a history of Azkaban. Just do some reading, although I'm sure you've already researched everything there is to read about it." Hermione smiled a little, feeling a bit better having stopped the miserable thought spiral. "What lessons do you have after lunch? Do you feel well enough to do them?" the older witch was unbelievably caring, not helping Hermione's burning desire to confide everything.

"Yes, I'll be fine after lunch I'm sure. I have double potions, a double free and charms, so it's not too bad."

"Double Snape? Not too bad? I don't know, I'd want to avoid him if it was me – I used to hate potions, it took me a lot of effort to get good enough grades for auror training. Don't tell him, but even though I'm a teacher he gives me the heebie-jeebies She chuckled, and Hermione smiled softly.

"I'm not really looking forward to it, I'm dreading speaking to him…" Tonks frowned slightly, and Hermione scrambled to cover her error. "Erm- just because he's so grumpy! I mean he's never cheerful."

"Yeah, that man could make Remus after a full moon look happy." She replied, still looking unconvinced. "Off you go to lunch now, you don't want all the pie to be gone, and neither do I…" They bid goodbye, and Tonks went to go and feed Teddy and join her husband, whilst Hermione went to sit with her newly engaged friend and their group.

An hour later, and Hermione was making her way to potions, fingers clenched into little balls of stress. She was glad that she hadn't been able to eat much lunch, instead she had pushed the pie and peas around her plate to the suspicious looks of Luna, because if she had she was sure she would feel even more nauseous than she did already.

Ginny and Luna were to the right of her, still making wedding conversation as Hermione neared the classroom. Fortunately, Snape wasn't waiting outside, so Hermione walked in with shaky steps and looked around for a spare seat, since she'd missed the first lesson, spying one next to Luna at the back. She sat down, grateful not to stand, before looking up.

Tentatively, she saw him at the front, sat down, and made brief eye contact before his dark eyes darted away and he cleared his throat, looking through his papers on the desk.

"Silence." Snape's drawl rang out around the already quiet classroom, as her commenced the lesson. "Turn to page six hundred and seventy-four, and today you will all be brewing Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction. Can anyone enlighten the class as to what this potion's purpose is?" Hermione had no idea, surprisingly, but Luna raised her hand.

"Miss Lovegood?"

"It's used to heal wounds left by thoughts, professor, like mental scarring."

"Indeed, five points to ravenclaw." Hermione felt a little shaken at this choice of potion, especially given that her and his thoughts would soon combine, but she was too distracted to properly be bothered by it. "You will find the ingredients in the storeroom. Work in pairs."

"If you want, I can get the ingredients Hermione? You could set up the cauldron."

"Thanks Luna." She up the fire and prepared her cauldron, casting a cleaning charm to it, just in case. She had learnt from experience that it was better to take precautions in making sure things weren't going to contaminate the brew.

Soon Luna returned, and the two set out in unified, comfortable silence, her chopping the ingredients in their specific ways, and Luna adding them and stirring the potion. They were very methodical in a way that was rather therapeutic, and Hermione often felt this way about potions. It was an art, knowing how much to add and exactly when to do it, and what would happen if you chopped the beetle-shell rather than crushing it. Just one potion could take years to master, but the whole process was so involved that she found it addictive.

Soon, their potion was brewed and a sample drawn into a vial to be left upon Professor Snape's desk. Gearing herself up to the task, she decided she would take the potion to the front, and ask him if she could stay behind whilst she was up there. It was with slightly fumbling fingers that she carefully carried the potion to the front near the end of the lesson, as the others were starting to complete theirs. She got to his desk and placed the neatly labelled vial into the rack, clearing her throat slightly as her face flushed and her heart rate sped alarmingly.

"Erm, professor, would I be able to stay behind to ask you about the work I had missed on Wednesday's lesson?"

"Certainly, Miss granger." His voice was the usual, steady drawl as normal, and he appeared disinterested completely in the matter, refusing to meet her nervous gaze. _At least he's a better actor than me_ she thought, actually a little glad not to have to maintain eye contact with the man. Relieved, but apprehensive, she thanked him, and turned, walking back to her and Luna's desk.

Soon, the class was over and Hermione was remaining behind her desk, telling Luna to go and that she'd catch her up. The blonde obliged airily, and left Hermione as a ball of nerves when she skipped away.

The classroom had been empty for a couple of minutes – which had seemed like hours – but the two were still in silence, both unsure how to start this conversation.

"Professor Snape, can I say something?" She eventually called out from the back, tired of the silence.

"It appears you are about to."

She ignored his rudeness, carrying on. "I don't blame you, you know. I'm angry about this, and scared, but I know you have had no more say in this than I have."

"Miss Granger, you may leave now." He hadn't looked up from his work once, and Hermione's anger surged within her.

"No! I'm not just going to leave until you talk to me, or at least look at me! Have you any idea how scared it makes me feel to be here with you in the same room? I'm terrified, but at least I'm trying to make the best of this situation. You owe me a simple conversation."

"I…" Snape looked up, meeting her gaze. She could see the front he had built up, but she wasn't buying his blank expression. "What am I supposed to say, Miss Granger? Do you want me to pretend everything will be okay like in some disgusting muggle movie? Because I can't be that sort of person, and I can't help but think that it's better for the two of us to just die rather than live like this."

Hermione was shocked, her mouth hung open at his bluntness.

"You think I find you so repulsive that I'd rather die than live with this? Or is it me you hate? Or maybe just yourself?" She stood her ground firmly, praying he couldn't hear the cracks in her voice. "I have friends, family, people who _care_ about me and people who _I_ care about. If you want to die, remember how they'd feel if you dragged me down to hell with you. Think how it would hurt Harry, Professor Snape. I know you cared about Lily and swore you'd protect him, so what would she think to you killing his best friend along with yourself?"

"Don't you dare mention her name." She had struck a nerve, and she knew it. His eyes glinted with pain and anger, and the nerves pitted in her stomach writhed uncomfortably.

"I know you're feeling at least as messed up as I am because of this, but we have to push through for others. It's not about us anymore, and we have to remember that other people are relying on us. Besides, nobody hates you anymore, and I'm sure if you cheered up and was a bit nicer to people you'd have some friends."

"Get out. Now." He muttered, and she left, glad to have got through to him. She knew that she would have to wait for him to come around, he needed to have time to process everything that she'd said, and a heart to heart was the last thing she wanted.

Hermione didn't want to chat, she just wanted to read in the cosy comfort of the library.

"So, what are we supposed to do on these rounds, Neville?" Hermione asked that night as the two head-pupils set out on the night patrols. Curfew (when they had to be in their common rooms) was 8 pm for years 1-4 and 9pm for years 5-7, and so at nine at night the prefects and head boy and girl had to patrol the school, looking for any pupils out late.

"Basically, just walk around a bit of the school, and give point deductions or whatever to people who were caught in trouble. Me and Luna interrupted some snogging Ravenclaw fourth years last night, but other than that it was pretty uneventful.

Hermione chuckled, pondering something quietly to herself as the two of them walked together in compatible silence.

"Neville, do you mind if I ask you something?" she pondered, a little unsure of how to start this conversation.

"Sure, what is it?"

"How have your parents been, since everything ended?" She felt a little bad, the focus had primarily been on those more famous than the kind-hearted boy, and through everyone else's losses no-one had noticed the family that Neville didn't gain.

"Erm, a little better. They… They recognise me now so that's nice."

"I was just wondering how you cope with that, losing your parents. I mean, it's not like they're lost, I just-"

"You want to know if losing your parents will get less painful?"

"Yes." Her voice is soft, but it was true. Obliviating her parents was terrible, and if there was a time she needed the kind hugs of her mother, or the gentle laugh of her father, it was now.

"Well, to an extent. I mean, it never gets easier, but you learn to handle it better." He cleared his throat. "I mean, you've had other stuff as well, so I know I can't help you much with that, but I'm sure you'll feel better in time."

"I hope so."

"Try not to worry – it's safer now than it has ever been." The irony of that shocked Hermione. As soon as the dark lord was defeated, she was hurt the most. Voldemort had caused her less harm than Lucius Malfoy had.

"Yeah, I suppose thanks Neville…" The two returned to silence again, as they made their way past the staff quarters, almost done with their rounds. Hermione could hear a baby crying in the Lupin's.

"Awe that must be Teddy." Neville cooed.

"It's definitely not McGonagall." Hermione chuckled, and the two heard the cries slow to a stop.

Just as they were about to start moving again, the door opened and Tonks' stormy expression emerged, her hair an exasperated orange.

"Oh! Neville, Hermione." She looked exhausted.

"How's Teddy, is he settled now?" Hermione asked, and Tonks nodded tiredly.

"Neville, would you mind finishing the rounds? I need to speak to Hermione about something." she asked, and Neville nodded, and Hermione followed Tonks inside.

"Sit down Hermione, shall I get you a cup of tea?" The younger witch sat down on the sofa, confused. "Is Remus here?" she queried as Teddy started crying again.

"No. He's- I'll explain later. I'll go and get teddy, just a minute." She left the room and returned with the soothed baby. Hermione got up and finished the tea, placing two cups on the table by the sofa.

"He's gone for a run, he does that when he gets frustrated, but he won't be too long. Now, there's an order meeting tomorrow to discuss you, and you're coming as well it's in the double free you've got in the morning. Remus, he doesn't like how the order are being, he thinks it's too much on you so early after the attack. He wouldn't be this bothered, just it's a full moon on Wednesday so he gets a bit emotional at this point. He gets so PMS it's funny…" She chuckled as she sat with Teddy in her lap, sipping her tea.

"What exactly about me?"

"The attack. The order wants to track down the death-eaters who hurt you. Snape should be able to help."

"But Snape knows Lucius said that he wouldn't be able to find him. After he'd gotten revenge on Snape he wasn't staying in the country, that was the whole point of the attack, it was Lucius' way of punishing Snape."

"Revenge on Snape? Why would they hurt you? I thought Snape wasn't there, he arrived after you'd been hurt to get you, didn't he?" Hermione blanched, aware of the major fuckup she'd made. "Hermione, is something else happening here that Remus and I haven't been told?"

"No, I must be getting muddled."

"You can tell me, I won't even tell Remus if you don't want me to."

"There's nothing, I promise. Snape must have arrived and I must have been too whacked out after the cruciatus."

"Hermione, you're a terrible liar. Please, Remus and I feel like there's something we're missing." It was getting too much for the young witch, who was dangerously close to tears. The mother opposite her was right, she had lied to them both, and it made her feel incredibly guilty.

"They didn't use the cruciatus." After she had said that, she knew there was no going back.

"Oh Hermione… I did wonder why there were no repeats afterwards. Can you tell me what they did?"

"They, I… I don't really remember. Look, thanks for the tea and sympathy, but I should really go now, it's way past curfew and I wasn't supposed to be here anyway." Before Tonks could argue, she was out of the door, and almost crashed into a confused Remus as she sprinted back to her dorm.

"Tonks? What's up with Hermione?" he said, coming in and kissing his wife and son.

"I'll tell you once you've had a shower, go on, you stink."

"You love it really…" he teased, kissing her again.

She laughed, kissing him back. "I most certainly do not…" he chuckled, and went off to have a shower, Tonks putting the baby to bed before deciding that before she told Remus, she would do a little more digging of her own. It wasn't that she didn't trust her husband, she just wanted Hermione to know she wouldn't tell him something if she didn't want her to. Even if it was exasperating, she would get to the bottom of what Hermione was hiding.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Hi guys, I have a new chapter for you! Things start to progress in this one a little more, so I hope you enjoy it. My updates will be a bit less frequent because it's my GCSE year and things are getting close, but I'll try to have a chapter every week if I can!

Thankyou to everyone who's read, favourited and followed the story so far, and thanks to Hammylammy for your support and reviews :)

Please leave a review, any feedback is good feedback, don't be a silent reader!

Thanks and enjoy,

H xx

* * *

Hermione skipped breakfast that Friday morning, too stressed to eat, and took an early morning walk around the school grounds in an attempt to clear her head. She had a lot on her mind, and was growing more nervous of speaking to the order and Tonks after last night. After giving away too much, she knew Tonks and Remus would be suspicious, and they did have a right to be because they cared about her, but she was really rather worried about anyone finding out – mostly for Snape's sake – but also because she knew it was a impossible situation to comprehend for anyone.

She had walked to the meeting hastily, not wanting to run into any of her friends who might question her absence at breakfast, and thus she had arrived rather early to McGonagall's office. She knocked, once, and the door opened, allowing her to walk into the room.

"Hello, Hermione. Are you well this morning?" Molly Weasley pulled her into a crushing hug; she struggled to breath in the most pleasant way.

"Fine, thanks Molly. How are you?" the woman nodded, before commenting on how she needed to eat more and how much she was sorry about what had happened. Hermione replied politely, but she was distracted, trying to scope out who was there for the meeting.

The real order wasn't back together, but this was a group who wanted to help Hermione after the attack in tracking down the remaining few death eaters. People who had arrived included Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, Remus, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Snape, Sirius and Minerva.

"Okay, now we are all here, we can begin." Minerva's crisp voice rose over the chatter, and the group were silent, waiting for her to begin. "As you are all aware, Miss Granger was subjected to an attack at the hands of Lucius Malfoy and a few fellow death eaters. The cruciatus curse was used to torture her, and we believe it was an attempt of revenge to the order. We wish to track down Lucius Malfoy and the death eaters, however I do not believe this will be easy. When we manage it, Kingsley has promised that all involved will be placed in Azkaban without trial." Murmurs of agreement started, and Tonks smiled comfortingly at Hermione. "Does anyone have any suggestions or knowledge on the whereabouts of them or a plan to locate and retrieve them?"

"I got a letter, early this morning, from Narcissa." Tonks started in a firm, professional voice. "She, Draco and Lucius are leaving soon to go to live somewhere foreign. She and Draco didn't want to go, but it appears they had little choice. Lucius has gone already, but the two are at the Malfoy manor, and they want to stay but they can't. There are death eaters monitoring them at all times, she said, and they don't have long before they go, then all the death eaters will disappear too. She is confident that they aren't going to cause another attack, Lucius just wanted some kind of 'revenge' and now he's got it he's finished." Although externally Tonks seemed confident, inside her stomach was churning uncomfortably: she was worried about her aunt and confused about this revenge that somehow involved Severus and Hermione.

"Well, that doesn't make sense." Arthur Weasley spoke up, "I mean, I don't doubt Draco and Narcissa and them wanting to leave Lucius, but the whole revenge by hurting Hermione just doesn't make sense."

"I agree, Arthur." Said Minerva, and Hermione and Snape paled slightly, "however, maybe our focus should be on extracting Narcissa and Draco, rather than trying to find scattered death eaters. We could attack, but I don't want to risk anymore lives when there have been so many tragic losses." Molly stifled a sob and Arthur tightened his arm around his wife's shoulder, grimacing painfully.

There were mostly silent nods amongst the small bunch, and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.

"I think we should track Lucius down, Minerva." Sirius said. "he was the ringleader, ad how could he get away with hurting Hermione so badly, just because it's impractical. It's not right at all. What's to stop them coming to attack someone else the next time they get restless or want revenge?"

"Do you have a proposal?"

"Well, I've been thinking." Everyone turned to look at Sirius, Remus and tonks taking each other's hands in preparation. "I think if Snape was to go to request to see Lucius, that we could stage an attack. We could pretend Snape wanted to join up with him to remerge the death eaters, or something, and then everyone could go in and capture him."

"That may work, thankyou Sirius. However, Snape has certain, commitments, here at Hogwarts that would prevent him from being able to travel. I must put our pupils first, and Snape is relied upon not only as a teacher, but to also brew potions only he could manage for Madame Pomfrey and St Mungo's, and to brew Remus' wolfsbane. Apologies, for my bluntness, Sirius, but we couldn't send Snape, the possibility of him disappearing would have disastrous consequences and there are too many risks." Hermione knew that she was not just talking about potions when she referred to his 'duties'. If he was to die, so would she, and the thought brought a shudder from her spine to her toes.

"That's hippogriff dung and you know it Minerva." Sirius was getting increasingly defensive and angry now, years of injustice welling up inside of him and coming out in angry words. "Hermione would be more than capable of taking over his potion brewing whilst he would be gone, and I'm sure others would too if they had to. Hell, if it meant getting Lucius I'm sur moony could go without his monthly potions. You say you need to put your pupils first, but Hermione is also your pupil and yet you forget that. I'm sorry that this is so rude, forgive me, but it needs to be said."

"I could go." Tonks spoke up, firmly and bravely. "I am a metamorphagus, after all. I could go morphed as Snape, if it's so important that he stay here."

"Dora no, you have to stay here for Teddy, you almost died in the battle, we both did. Our son can't lose his parents." Remus spoke hurriedly, although it was incredibly difficult to dissuade his strong-willed wife from doing things she had already decided to do.

"I think this is more important Remus, and I am a trained auror, I'd be perfectly safe."

"No, you can't go as me." Snape's voice loomed over the group as he spoke up from the corner. "I was only at the Malfoy manor for a few moments, but Lucius made it very clear that if we were to meet again, then I would be killed on sight. I don't believe that he was bluffing, and I'm sure you don't want to find out. After all, I have _duties_ that a dead man cannot carry out." his tone of voice was sarcastic, and Tonks winced at his bluntness.

"Well, could I pretend to be Lucius then? Go to the manor and take Narcissa and Draco away before Lucius takes them? If there are death eaters there they wouldn't attack Lucius, and would let us walk out." She formulated the idea so fast she barley realised it was actually not bad.

"That actually sounds like a good plan." Sirius piped up, "Just don't put yourself under too much risk."

"I think that plan does sound the safest." Minerva said, pursing her lips. "We may be able to get more information from the two as well about the attack. I think you should go as soon as possible, Tonks. This afternoon, perhaps? Severus, please prepare a safe house for the two in advance."

"Yeah, this afternoon should be okay, if you're okay with it, Remus." The ex-auror looked at her husband, who grimaced.

"I suppose as long as you're safe, and this is what you want to do. I want to get revenge on them for what they did to Hermione as much as all of you, but I don't want unnecessary lives to be lost for the sake of payback." He was clearly uncomfortable with her outing herself in danger after they had both barely survived and they had a five-month-old son, and Hermione felt a wave of guilt at them putting themselves in danger for her.

"Guys, look." She started, trying to sounds braver than she felt. "Don't go put yourselves in danger for me, I don't want you to get hurt because of me. I understand that you want to get Narcissa and Draco, but do it for them not me."

"Hermione, I want to do this for you, and for the order." Tonks replied, running a hand through her bubble-gum pink hair. "If it was any of us, you'd want to help, so let us help you."

"Besides, Tonks is more than capable of keeping herself safe. She was a great auror, and no one will suspect her or try to hurt her if she's Lucius. The death eaters helping him must have been weak ones not fully involved in the war because everyone important went to Azkaban, so they'll be no match for her even if something bad happens." Sirius said, giving Hermione a kind look. "However, I think we should be waiting on backup to apparate in and help her, just in case something goes wrong."

Minerva nodded slowly, "Well, if we're all agreed then? We will meet back here at one, before Tonks leaves." The order members nodded, leaving Hermione and Minerva in the room alone.

"Hermione, even though we may not locate Lucius or his fellow death-eaters, getting Narcissa and Draco back is what we need to do." The older witch spoke softly once they had been left alone.

"I know, headmistress, I just… I nearly told Tonks the truth last night." The young woman swallowed, trying to quell her nerves. "She knows that I've been lying…"

"Does she know everything?"

"No. I just said it wasn't the cruciatus curse. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I just got upset and she was there and…"

"Don't worry dear, you have nothing to apologise for. At least they do not know the whole truth about your situation yet. Have you spoken to Snape at all yet?"

"A little. I feel like we are on a better foot than before. He didn't really reply but I think the thought went in."

"Good. Now dear, off you go and try not to worry. Even if Tonks and Remus did find out, it would be far from the end of the world, and she would be only kind and understanding. They both care a lot about you, as do I and the rest of the order."

Trying to work out her spiralling emotions, Hermione left the office, heading to the library to study in the remaining free lessons she had.

* * *

After a rather worried lunch with Remus, Tonks headed with him to the headmistress' office, little baby Teddy on her hip ready for Minerva to babysit whilst she would be gone and Remus would have to be ready to step in at a moment's notice.

Tonks was unusually nervous, and she wasn't sure if it was because it had been so long since she had done a mission, or if she was worried what she might find out. After discussing the strategy, it was decided that until they had left the manor and were safely back at the school Draco and Narcissa would believe that she was Lucius. She would tell them that they would be side-along apparating to their new home, and walk out of the manor until they had passed the anti-apparition wards, then she would bring them to 12 Grimmauld place before changing to her normal self and flooing to Hogwarts.

Everyone had arrived, and the time to do it was now. Tonks had hugged Remus tight, kissing Teddy on his soft little head, whispering I love yous to her family. Giving everyone as nervous smile and a whisper of a goodbye, she morphed into Lucius Malfoy and apparated to the outside of his home.

Stomach lurching, she arrived, composing herself and running a hand through her now long blonde hair as she strode through the grounds, trying her hardest not to trip.

She reached the entrance, and surprised guards wearing death eater's masks let her in nervously, before more death eaters greeted her nervously with a " _greetings master"._ So Lucius was their master now, sick bastard, she thought to herself as she twisted her face into a politely disgusted grimace that probably wasn't too far from the face the real Lucius Malfoy would have made.

"Where are Narcissa and Draco?" The voice change always surprised her when she did a full morph, and she tried to sound assertive in her new nasally, low drawl. "Bring them to me, now." The servant looked worried, and scarpered off, returning later with Lucius' wife and only son. They were pale, and looked uneasy to see him, but Tonks had to resist the urge to comfort them.

"We will be leaving now. I will accompany you upstairs to pack a few possessions." They nodded, and Tonks followed Narcissa into their master bedroom, leaving Draco to pack his things.

"Lucius, I overheard the death eaters talking about Hermione. What on Earth did you do something that disgusting for?" Tonks swallowed nervously at Narcissa's accusing tone. She knew she probably wasn't ready to hear this, but sensed she probably didn't really have a choice but to steel her nerves and listen.

" _That_ is none of your business." The voice was thankfully normal, without the catch Tonks felt in her throat.

"None of my business? Are you serious, because when they've got death eaters boasting around the manor about Hermione getting raped I think you'll find that like it or not it becomes my business." A coldness dropped to tonks' core, and suddenly the truth made all of Hermione's erratic actions slip painfully into place.

"Lucius, why? Why would that be necessary, I don't understand? I thought I knew you better than that." Tonks felt sick to her stomach at hearing the sadness in her voice. She was furious, but at the same time depressed, like she'd just received a dementors kiss from an ex-boyfriend who's cheated on her because she wouldn't morph into a celebrity when they kissed.

She pulled herself together. "Do not question my judgement, Narcissa." The reply was devoid emotion, yet tonks knew it was far from the explanation they were both desperate to hear.

"But what if that had been our daughter – if we had one - or me? I can't understand how you could hurt someone like that when there's no need. The war is over, Lucius, get that into your head and stop trying to punish the order for things now they've won." She had to admire her aunt's bravery, and decided that they should leave as soon as possible before her emotions cracked and she either punched someone or broke down into confused tears.

"Hurry, now. I can explain my reasons when we arrive." Narcissa cast a glare at Lucius before picking up the bag she had packed with only a few essentials and her most precious things. They walked briskly along the corridor, picking up Draco from his room and marching out of the manor, until they had reached the outskirts of the anti-apparition wards.

"We will apparate from here. Take my arms, both of you." Tonks tried to make her voice sound assertive, but she just needed to get out and think. The two took her arms, and she apparated to the front step of Grimmauld place, dragging them in quickly before they could argue.

"What on earth! Grimmauld Place?" Narcissa cried before Tonks changed back to herself.

"Ohh, it's you Tonks." Draco said, frown easing.

Then, Narcissa threw her arms around the young woman, tears slipping down her cheeks in relief. Draco smiled, relieved. "Oh, Tonks I should have known it would be you. Thank you so so much, I'm sorry for what I said, I thought you were Lucius."

"It's ok. I erm, didn't know what had really happened to Hermione."

"Oh…" Narcissa frowned sympathetically. "Does anyone?"

"I don't know. It's a bit of a shock to be honest." An understatement – a massive one – but it was a delicate situation and Tonks was trying her hardest not to overreact.

"I was appalled to hear that had happened. I didn't hear much, but just that was enough."

"Do you have any other information on who it was or anything?"

"No, I'm sorry. I wish I did so I could hex them myself, but I only heard them say that. How is Hermione?"

"It's not your fault; she's okay considering. Remus and I were under the impression that the cruciatus curse had been involved, and we were suspicious from the lack of symptoms and abundance of other symptoms. Unfortunately, I guess this means we were right to be." Her voice was like the one she used when dealing with similar cases as an auror, but inside she felt far from in control and composed.

"I must admit it is all very concerning, but I'm glad she seems okay."

"Can we get to Hogwarts now? We need to get somewhere safe." Tonks felt bad talking about the girl behind her back, and knew that a difficult conversation was instore when she returned. Narcissa knew nothing more, but tonks wanted to find out the story from Hermione, when the young woman was ready.

"Of course, How will we get there? Floo?"

"I have some powder here." She rummaged in her pockets, pulling out a small bag full of the white, sand-like powder. "You go first, Draco. To the headmaster's office."

Draco spoke the name of the location, followed by Narcissa and then Tonks, who suddenly appeared in McGonagall's office, falling over as she climbed out of the fireplace.

Soft hands helped her up, and she looked up to see her husband's anxious face looking down at her. "Did it all go okay?" he queried.

"Yes, erm… fine sweetheart." She gave him a quick hug before looking around the room to see everyone who'd been there when she'd left. Her eyes made brief contact with Hermione's before she broke it, reminded of the things she's discovered.

"Dora are you sure? Your hair…" he spoke, and she took a piece between her fingers, seeing it was a worried mousy brown.

"Ah, I must just be tired, it was pretty stressful." Remus looked unconvinced, but she urged him not to question her further, giving him a look saying they would talk about it later.

"Tonks, did it all go smoothly?" Minerva questioned her, handing her Teddy as she got up from behind her desk.

"Yes, Minerva, walked in and out with no problems."

"Other than me ripping her throat off because I thought she was Lucius." Narcissa chuckled, and Draco smiled at his mother. "Thank you, all of you, for getting us out safely. I am so, so grateful. We both are."

"You are most welcome." McGonagall smiled a reply, before dismissing everyone in the order but Hermione, Remus, Snape and tonks. Hermione shot a worried glance at Narcissa, and was met with a pitying smile, as Tonks saw the girl's face pale a little.

"Now," McGonagall started as she looked at each of them. "I have decided, that for their safety, Narcissa and Draco will be taken by Severus to a safe house until we have confirmed that there is no threat of attack from Lucius after he finds out the truth." Narcissa and Draco nodded, and the son took his mother's hand. "Because of this, you will be visited regularly by members of the order to make sure you are safe, but it should all be okay and we should know when you can live normally soon. Would you be willing to depart now? Just I am worried that suspicions will rise soon, and this school must not come under attack again."

"Yes, that sounds like it will be fine. Tonks, thank you for getting us and I'm sorry for what I said." Tonks nodded, noticing Hermione and Snape's faces paling with confusion, and Remus frowning slightly. "but honestly, thank you so much for everything, and when everything is safe I can't wait to some back to get to know you all properly as a friend, on the same side." They said their goodbyes, before Snape apparated them both to their new home.

As the others left the room, aside from Remus, Tonks waited. Hermione had lingered for a moment, but she had had lessons to get to. Seeing the worry on her face, Tonks felt a shiver of anger race down her spine, but gave the girl a kind smile and told her she was just going to discuss safe housing for Narcissa and Draco.

She knew, that as a teacher and a parent, it was her duty to report what she had heard. She should tell Minerva about the truth, it was her responsibility. But, honestly, she felt a little suspicious over the whole thing. She didn't know if it was her extensive auror training, or natural curious nature, but there must be a reason why McGonagall and madam Pomfrey hadn't questioned the lack of aftershocks from the cruciatus – which she had discovered hadn't happened. The headmistress and the school nurse should have been more concerned about her health after an unforgivable curse, that much she was sure of.

But after hearing what Tonks had she guessed they must have known what really happened.

That, she reasoned, meant Snape would also know, having been there to rescue Hermione afterwards. She'd seen attacks, rescued people herself from sexual assaults, and she knew Snape would have been more than aware of the truth after arriving, he wouldn't have not been able to tell. After all, if she had reacted in such a violent way with Sirius – a man she trusted deeply – how would she have reacted with Snape?

She went through a mental list of who knew, Snape, McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey, but why would they keep the truth from the order and staff? She supposed, that Hermione may not have wanted them to know, but she wished that her and remushad at least been told. They were her teachers, and close friends, and although she wouldn't allow herself to be selfish enough to feel hurt that Snape knew and she didn't, she was worried for the safety of the woman's mental health when she had no female role models close to her – and her age – that she could talk to about something so scarring. She needed therapy, or at least some form of counselling from someone, but Tonks wasn't sure if that was what she was getting.

But, she had no idea what to do. Telling McGonagall what she discovered would be the most professional and sensible thing to do, but she wanted to speak to Hermione first, to discuss it with the young woman instead of behind her back. The, after that, she decided, she would tell McGonagall.

"Dora?" Remus called her from her thoughts, and she blushed slightly, realising that she was being stared at by her husband and Minerva. "What are you thinking about?" his voice was gently probing, concern laced throughout, and she felt sure Remus should also know. He was such a kind man, and sensitive beyond belief. He would know what to do.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." Remus met her eyes, and she knew he wouldn't buy her excuses the moment they left her mouth. "We should be going now, thank you Minerva."

"Thank you, Tonks, and well done for your work today, you did true good."

She bid goodbye to the older witch, walking with Remus back to their quarters, teddy on her hip.

* * *

"Dora, did it all really go okay?" He asked later that evening as they sat on the sofa, Teddy snuggled into her chest after she had fed him as she leant back, running a hand through her mousy hair, exhausted mentally and internally conflicted. "Please tell me if something bad happened."

"Of course, I will, I just…" she trailed off, unsure where to start as she stroked the fluffy down on her baby's head. He cooed, and she looked down at him lovingly, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I… I found out what had happened to Hermione. Narcissa overheard some death eaters and they were talking about it and she had a go at me because she though _I_ _was Lucius_ and then she says she doesn't know who did it but _someone_ must have and I don't know what to do because as a _teacher_ I should tell McGonagall but her and Madam Pomfrey and Snape _must_ know and I wanted to talk to Hermione first because she was the one who got raped…" Remus' eyes snapped up to hers as she halted her ramble that had been getting louder and louder.

"So, that's what happened?" His voice was soft, dangerous, and filled with something she couldn't put her finger on; it was a combination of rage, concern and sorrow. His eyes peered into hers from beyond his fringe and he sighed exasperatedly.

"That's what Narcissa said. She overheard some death eaters talking about it."

"Oh Merlin…"

"Remus, what should we do?"

He was silent for a moment, deep in thought as Tonks watched him with worried eyes.

"Do you think Minerva knows? And the others?"

"Yes, they must. I guess Hermione didn't want the whole order to know."

"I can understand that, but"

"Why not us? I know, I don't really know either."

"I think we should speak to Hermione first, then."

"Me too. I don't like the thought of telling Minerva before her. If it were me, I'd want to know what people were saying about me. I just can't stand this, and Narcissa was so angry at who she thought was Lucius but I couldn't say a word or else we'd all be screwed. And she was just asking me why I'd do such a horrible thing to her and I had to pretend it was all fine and justifiable…" she broke off, wiping an angry tear from the corner of her eye.

"Oh Dora…" Remus brought his wife and teddy into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Wait, it wasn't Lucius, was it?"

"No. It wasn't, but he was the one who ordered it to happen." She felt Remus tense angrily, and looked up to meet his steely gaze.

"When should we talk to Hermione? Do you think both of us should?"

"Yes, that's probably not going to be too much for her, then we can be honest and she doesn't have to have the conversation more than once. I don't know when, tomorrow maybe? Although there's Harry's party and I don't want her to be upset before that."

"Maybe after that then. Sunday?" Tonks nodded in agreement, and relaxed into her husband's kind embrace on the dark red sofa, thoughts racing uncomfortably.


	5. Chapter 5

A.N Hi guys, hope you're all okay. Thank you to everyone who has read, favourited, followed and reviewed so far, it means a lot! I've been a bit down this week, so I'm sorry if it comes out it the chapter, but you get to see a nicer side of Severus in this one so that's something haha.

Thanks to the guest who reviewed; I have taken your advice and used Severus' real name in this one : ) Also special thanks to hammylammy who's reviewed every chapter so far, I'm really grateful x

Enjoy xx

* * *

Saturday was a cool, early autumn day and for one Hermione felt rested when she woke, a little later than her usual start because it was the weekend. She had still taken her potions, but as she sat in the morning light, eating an apple as she sipped a cup of tea, she felt different.

For the first time, she didn't feel afraid.

Perhaps it was because everything had gone smoothly with the Malfoy manor, and no, Tonks hadn't found out everything. Perhaps it was because she had the party that night for two of her closest friends. Whatever it was, she wasn't complaining, and she allowed herself a small smile, staring out of her window at the grounds. She spied Hagrid's hut, and reminded herself she would have to visit him later, and the outskirts of the forbidden forest.

It was odd to her, that a few months ago, the school had been less safe than that forest that held so many dark creatures. She had hoped, this time last week, that everything would be okay now, that things were _safe._

Oh, how wrong she was.

But, she noticed, when she thought about her future it didn't daunt her as horrifically as it had. She was really bloody scared, that was normal she supposed, but she knew she was going to have a life. Despite knowing her life would be significantly altered, and shorter, she didn't feel as confined as she had.

She couldn't really do anything about it, so that was probably why she wasn't as alarmed. Fate had been decided, albeit for her without her consent, and she was well aware that to enjoy her life she would have to move on and not spend the next forty years – or however many years she probably had left at best, she wasn't going to work it out – moping around pitying herself and complaining. She wasn't that sort of person, she was a Gryffindor.

"Hermione? We're going to breakfast do you want to come?" She heard Neville holler up the stairs, and she opened the door, staring down at him as she stood at the top of her stairs in the pyjamas.

"I'm okay thanks Neville, I'm not dressed yet." She laughed, and Luna, Ginny and Neville beamed up at her. She hadn't realised that her friends would be worried, and making them happy made her even happier.

"We're gonna be there for a while, everyone's at Hogsmeade so it'll be really quiet, so feel free to join us if you want, we might do some studying or something in there."

"Yeah, thanks guys, I'll see you soon." They left and she turned to get ready. She had forgotten the weekend Hogsmeade visits, where the younger years got for too excited about the absence of the school walls to coop them up. The hype had worn off for a lot of the older pupils, who preferred to go on quieter days when there were no irritating twelve year olds. Instead, they studied and read and socialised, talking quietly amongst themselves as they relaxed.

Once Hermione had gotten a quick shower and dressed, she walked downstairs to meet her friends. They were at the table, and she sat down happily, grabbing some bacon, toast, sausage, scrambled egg and tomatoes. She loved Hogwarts breakfast, and felt happy to be enjoying food once again as she tucked in readily. However, she couldn't help wishing the pumpkin juice could be replaced with some hot, sweet tea. She was British, after all.

"So, are you all looking forward to the party tonight?" Luna started, biting into an apple as she smiled.

"Eek! I still can't believe I'm engaged to be honest."

"Awe Ginny it's amazing! And we haven't seen Ron or Harry in like a week." Hermione laughed.

"So who's coming?" Luna asked.

"Well… how long's a piece of string." Ginny smiled and furrowed her brow in thought. "Definitely lots of people though, at least if mum's got any say in it. What are you guys wearing?"

"Oh you know, just a pink mini skirt and silver heels." Neville grinned, and the three of them giggled, their soft laughs filling the depleted room.

"I've got a yellow dress thing I found in Norway. What about you Ginny?" Luna had a bizarrely great sense of fashion, and they all knew she would look gorgeously different.

"I've got this silver sparkly thing, you know you may as well stand out at your engagement party. Hermione what about you?"

"Well… I don't really have anything…"

"Right, finish your toast." Ginny's toast was firm.

"Why?"

"We're going shopping."

* * *

Five shops and four exhausting hours later, and Hermione finally thought she had found the gown. It was a plum coloured, velvet dress, with long lace sleeves and a skater skirt. There was just enough cleavage and a stunning dropped back and although Hermione still felt a little nervous about her body, it gave her a huge confidence boost. They paid for the dress and left, getting back to the castle to change.

Ginny stood menacingly behind Hermione, hands on her hips as she watched the bushy haired witch in the mirror. Luna sat on the bed behind them, flicking through the quibbler and chucking as Ginny decided how to tame Hermione's hair.

"Up, or down?" She asked Hermione. Her own hair in a sloppy bun on her head.

"Er, up?" Ginny nodded, and began twisting and pulling at Hermione's hair. The younger witch was a whizz at cosmetic charms, and soon enough Hermione's hair was in a lovely braided bun on her head, small tendrils escaping and hanging near her cheeks.

"Oh, Ginny its lovely thank you!" she exclaimed, hugging her friend happily.

"You can thank me when you pull later tonight." Hermione tried not to wince, "now, are you okay to do your own makeup?" Hermione nodded, and Ginny started her own hair, leaving Hermione and Luna to do their makeup for the evening.

Once the three were ready and looking very glam, they headed to Remus and Tonks' quarters. They would be escorting the pupils to 12 Grimmauld place, where the party would be held.

"Wotcher girls! And Neville sorry mate! You guys look amazing!" Tonks opened the door, a bright grin on her face as she let them in. Tonks also looked great, wearing a clingy pink dress that matched her bright hair and showed off her figure.

"Thanks Tonks, so do you!"

"Well, when you get a babysitter for the night then you may as well go for it. Besides, the baby weight has pretty much gone and it's been a long time since I've had a party to go to." The four women sat down on the sofa, "Remus will be here soon, he's just dropping Teddy off with Minerva. She was so eager to babysit him we didn't even have to ask." Tonks spoke with an easy smile as Remus came in through the door, teaching robes replaced with jeans and a shirt.

"Well you ladies all look lovely, Neville and I are very lucky." He beamed at them, "Shall we head off?"

Three hours later and Hermione was feeling pretty wasted. She and Luna were dancing to the weird sister's music playing in the lounge, with a small crowd packed into the room. It was the most fun she'd had in a long time, and was giggling at the sight of a plastered Tonks cheering along to her favourite band, a more sober Remus trying – unsuccessfully - to stop her from falling over.

Firewhisky and other more innocuous drinks were flowing pretty freely, and soon Hermione felt the need for fresh air, heading outside of the house to sit on the doorstep. However, she only made it halfway before she came face to face with Ron, and the two decided to go out and sit together on the top of the steps.

"It's good to see you again Hermione." Ron slurred. "Me and Harry heard about that Lucius dick, I'm sorry. When we pass auror training we'll beat his skinny arse." Hermione drew her hands into herself, shivering slightly as memories threatened to flood back, especially in her inebriated state.

Mistaking her fear for coldness, Ron wrapped his arm around her, ignoring her flinch of terror at the seemingly innocent gesture. She felt a slice of hot pain down her back, and she tried to stop her heart racing _,_ it's okay, she told herself, its Ron _._ Once she had convinced herself that everything was fine, she rested her head on his shoulder, nervous but happy to be with her friend. Besides, it helped stoop the world spinning.

 _What are you doing? Stop that! Stop now!_ Hermione heard the voice in her head, and for a moment, in her drunken state, she thought she was insane. But, then she realised, with a drop of horror, that these were the thought communications coming through. The pain burned again in her back, and she wondered what was wrong.

 _What am I doing wrong?_ She thought in her head, hoping he would hear.

 _"_ _Get back to Hogwarts, travel by floo to Minerva's office. I'll explain more there."_

"Hermione?" Ron removed his arm from her shoulders, looking at her quizzically.

"Let's go back inside; get some more to drink." He nodded, and they walked in, but Hermione headed upstairs to a spare room, and flood to Minerva's office.

* * *

When she emerged from the fireplace, she saw Snape and Minerva stood in the office, Minerva holding teddy in her arms.

"Ah, Hermione, how are you?" Minerva asked, and Hermione rubbed her forehead, trying to sober up.

"I'm okay thanks, I'm sobering up a bit now." The older witch nodded, putting teddy down in the cot which stood next to her desk.

There was a prolonged pause. "The thoughts have started, haven't they?"

"Yes. I… apologise. I could hear your thoughts and was afraid Mr Weasley might behave inappropriately with you. I am sure you are aware of the consequences that would have."

"Oh. Sorry, Professor Snape. I, didn't realise. That must have been the pain."

"Don't worry. It's hardly your fault." There was a bitterness in his voice that made Hermione sober up almost completely.

"Severus, don't be so self-critical, you know that it isn't your fault really." Minerva spoke up, kind voice still holding the firmness it did when she taught.

Severus sighed softly, barely audible enough for the two others to hear.

"Professor." She stopped herself, she could say his name. "Severus. What would have happened? Am I still allowed to hug my friends?" She was curious, she didn't want them to die because she hugged a boy.

"It's more about either person's emotions or intent. If there is love, or lust, that makes the person or you act, then you would feel intensely building pain, and so would I, and if you continued we would die. It's the bond's way of stopping dishonesty."

"So as long as it's platonic it's okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay, thanks. It's all a bit different now, I guess I'm still figuring out everything. I didn't realise Ron still…" she trailed off, deep in thought.

Another pause punctuated the room, and Severus and Hermione stared at the ground in thought.

"Hermione, I want to thank you for what you said to me after class. I needed to hear it."

"It's okay I'm just sorry I was so harsh about it."

"I can't be a nice, kind person very easily." He put his finger up to silence Minerva's interruptions. "but I want to make sure that this is as easy for you, and for the both of us as possible. You still deserve a good life, and… so do I."

"Severus." Hermione still felt a little strange saying the man's first name. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"Well, if you don't mind me interrupting, I am glad you two have spoken properly." Minerva spoke, soft accent sounding calm. "There comes the matter of your weekly duties, unfortunately. I have arranged one of the staff quarters to be used, and it is room number 119. The rooms are near the end of the corridor, and you will be excused from patrolling duties on Tuesday nights for the proceedings to happen." Minerva placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder, seeing the girl struggling to control her fear. "I figure if we make the situation as detached as possible from normal life it will be the least painful."

"Okay. I'll be there at nine on Tuesday then." Hermione said, uncomfortably and Severus nodded slightly.

"Very well. We should probably all be heading to bed now, it is getting rather late and I have a baby to take care of." The two nodded, and left the office, heading in opposite directions to their separate rooms.

Once she was back in her dormitory, Hermione cast a quick tempus charm, seeing the time was just past midnight. She headed to the shower, peeling off her dress and letting the hot water soak her tired, semi-drunk body. It was so soothing as it poured onto her hair, and she allowed herself a brief moment of reflection.

Did she love Ron? Did he love her? Had she felt something when he'd wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close? Did she want another relationship with him?

It was true, he was an amazing friend, and had gained an incredible amount of maturity over the last few months.

When you think about the person you want to grow old with, Hermione didn't think of Snape. She had had to grow up too fast with the war, putting herself in danger from an early age. She was too young to be in this much trouble, but it was too late to do anything about it.

Normally, if you asked an eighteen-year-old girl what they were worried about, they would say uni applications, or boy trouble, or friendship drama.

But Hermione didn't worry about that. She worried about the possibility of the war reoccurring, of all her friends dying. She worried about Lucius Malfoy getting her again, torturing her and binding her soul to someone who would then rape her. She worried about a future with her surly, old, potions teacher, with whom she'd have to have sex with every week just to stay alive.

With all of those problems and no real solution, was it really worth it? Was life really worth that much pain? In the end it may be, but when she would know that Hermione did not know.

She just had to keep holding out for something worth living.

* * *

Sunday had arrived, and after a lazy day Hermione found herself in Remus and tonks' quarters for dinner. Sirius had joined them, and they had laughed together, enjoying each other's company greatly as they ate and drank butterbeer, everyone too hungover for proper alcohol.

On the surface, everything had been fine, great even, but there was something putting Hermione on edge. Tonks and Remus had both kept exchanging strange looks, and Hermione was sure it was about her. Whenever Hermione stopped smiling, or looked uncomfortable, they would look at each other, like they were bracing themselves. It had become more and more obvious, as the more they did it, the less Hermione smiled, and so the spiral continued…

Eventually, Sirius had left, tired and still recovering from the engagement arty last night. Hermione had been going to leave too, but something told her not to, and she wanted to put the couple out of their misery. She was sure, by then, that Tonks must have found something out when she rescued Narcissa, and just hoped it didn't concern Snape.

"Hermione, can we talk to you about something? Is that alright?" Remus' voice was soft, and she tucked her feet under her legs as she sat on the sofa opposite them, trying to at least look relaxed.

"You don't have to if you don't feel ready, we just want you to know we are here for you." Tonks also sounded horribly kind, making Hermione shiver slightly.

"I know you know the truth. You've been looking at me strangely all evening." They both looked guilty at that.

"Sorry. We didn't know what to do when Tonks found out... We assumed Minerva, Severus and Poppy must know, but we wanted to talk to you before them."

 _Hermione._

She could hear Snape's voice again in her mind again, reminding her he could hear her thoughts. She wondered how much he heard, because she heard very little from him, but decided to question him about it later.

 _What should I do?_ She asked mentally

"I…" Her voice trailed off slightly as she tried to respond.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it we know what happened." Tonks leaned forward in her chair slightly. "We just want to know how you're coping, and if you know who it was?"

 _Don't worry, I spoke to Narcissa. They don't know anything about my involvement._

 _I wouldn't tell them anyway, Severus. Don't worry I can handle it._

"I'm coping okay… As for who it was, they were wearing a mask. I have no idea." A lump rose painfully in her throat as she lied, openly, to two of her closest and most respected friends.

 _I'm sorry, Hermione._

With that lone sentence hanging loosely in her mind, she stopped, lump growing and feeling about to burst. Tears welled in her eyes, and a cold ice settled in her stomach. In a way, it was a relief for Tonks and Remus to know somewhat what had been occurring; it would explain much of her behaviour and they may be good at counselling her a little, it would be nice to have someone her own age to talk to, but…

But what? The reserve she felt was probably unnecessary, but it existed.

A tear slipped silently down her cheek, trailing its way downwards in a way that mimicked her mood. Within an instant, Tonks was by her side, crossing the distance between them in a surprisingly graceful manner.

Any reserve she had left was lost after that. It had been so long since she had been held. Tonks wrapped her arms firmly around the girl, and there was no fear, but her heart seemed to break right there and then. She sobbed into the older woman's shoulder, losing all the emotions that she had been storing up for the last few days. Her whole life had changed in a instantaneous moment last week, and it seemed to be catching up with her all at once, as she was held by the woman she knew and trusted.

The tears fell quickly and without mercy, and she knew she would soak the shoulder she was buried into, but neither of them cared. The feeling of Tonks' fingers holding her hair was too much, and she sniffed and shook in the older witch's arms. She had lost her mother, and the mothering instinct tonks had gained was almost unbearable. The last time someone had hugged her like this it had been her mother.

Tonks waited until the sobs had subsided, and gently held Hermione out, hands on each of her shoulders.

"That better?"

"A little. Sorry."

"No…" she brushed off the apology with a squeeze of her arm. "There's nothing to apologize for."

"She's right." Remus spoke up quietly from the other sofa with a careful sile. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I just… Thanks guys. It helps for you to know."

"And now we do we can help you properly, and make sure you have support."

"Besides," Remus added, "we are some of the least judgemental people you'll meet, and hopefully easier to talk to than the others that know."

Hermione smiled softly, although it didn't meet her eyes. They were right, but so so wrong at the same time. Sure, it would be easier to talk to tonks who was far nearer her age than McGonagall and poppy, and Remus was far more understanding and benevolent that Severus, and yet she knew she couldn't tell them the truth.

She wouldn't tell them the truth, not when it concerned others. Not when it was so dark, so ugly. It wasn't some pretty tale of a maiden in distress, it was dark, twisted and wrong with no solution.

"Would you mind if I went? I think I just want to go to bed."

"Of course, are you okay going alone?"

"Yes thank you Tonks. And, thanks both of you. For everything."

"Anytime, and we mean it. We both love you dearly, Hermione. Sleep well."

She nodded, once, before slipping out into the dark corridor. She went back to her room first, but quickly discovered after two am passed that sleep was evading her with great success. Instead, she slipped on her robes and walked to the astronomy tower, choosing to lean against the railing, looking witfully out of the window as she tried to allow her thoughts to catch up with her.

A soft moonlight lit the grounds, spreading out over the vast green expanse. It was a waxing moon, nearly full, and it would be whole on Wednesday – in four days. Eerie, and yet strangely beautiful, she felt pulled towards the vast white object in the sky. It had been around for who knows how long, and would remain long after she died, the whole castle would. After all, who knew when she would die now.

"Miss Granger… Hermione, apologies for intruding." The dim figure of Severus emerged, calling her from her thoughts, and she smiled thinly, trying to push down the fear with a small swallow.

"Hello, Severus." She was confused, until she remembered the thoughts. "I'm sorry, did I keep you awake?"

"Don't worry. I doubt I would have been able to sleep anyway."

Did he hear all of her thoughts? She didn't hear all of his…

"Ah, I am an occlumens, as I'm sure you are aware, Miss Granger."

"Oh… So, do you hear everything I say?"

"I do. I can choose for you not to hear my every thought, but I seem to be unable to prevent yours."

"Do you think you could teach me? That way we both have more control."

"Certainly. And, I have been doing some research regarding potions."

"The Dr Ubbly's Oblivious Unction potion you set us?" She queried, realising the purpose. "You think we can use it, alter it?"

"Indeed. Hopefully it may be able to prevent the thoughts merging. Together with the occlumency, it should be a little easier for you."

"And you. I don't imagine its easy having my thoughts in your head. I'm sorry, it must be terribly depressing at the moment."

"That's hardly your fault, Hermione. And before you call me self-loathing, I have every right to be at the moment."

"Gosh. Where did everything go wrong?" the question was for neither of them, and silence consumed the tower, the light of the moon casting their shadows was the only evidence of any life.

"I wanted to tell you… how strong you're being." He started, and put up a hand before she interrupted. "I hear your suicidal thoughts, feel them myself, but you always talk yourself out of it, push on. It's very certain that Gryffindor is the right house for you."

"I'm not just responsible for my life anymore. If I died, I would drag others with me."

"That's exactly what comes to my mind also."

No more talking was needed, they simply stood, staring out of the window onto the vast expanse of the world around them, a mutual understanding of each other growing by the second.

After not too long, they left, not a word said as they parted. Enough was apparent, and words would only muddle the situation. Hermione crawled into bed, glad for the tiredness to lure her into the inky depths of sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hi guys, thanks for reading again, and thankyou to everyone who has favourited and followed this story. Also, extra special thanks to Those who have reviewed - please keep doing so, it really motivates me to keep writing!

Quite a lot happens in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

It had been a late night for Hermione, and so she had traded breakfast and free periods for a lie it, knowing her first class wasn't until 11:15. She sat up in bed in the gentle autumn light, steaming cup of tea in her left hand and her favourite book in her right. It was true, she'd read Hogwarts: a history too many times to remember, but there was a certain beauty in her battered copy of the novel.

She recalled with a distant fondness the moment she had first received her Hogwarts letter. It was the one she always used to conjure her patronus, her happiest memory. She had dragged her parents around Diagon Alley in a lucid glee, and that book had been the first of many magical books she'd read. It had opened her eyes to the world she lived in now. She was different now because of magic, and it had made her so, so happy.

That being said, if she had known what magic had caused, the unhappiness it had brought her, would she still have chosen this life. Effectively, she had disowned her parents because of magic, and if she had never been to Hogwarts she wouldn't be bonded to her grumpy, fucked up potions professor.

But then, that had never been magic's fault. There would always be bad people, whatever world she would live in, and magic meant she could protect her parents from a war that most likely would have resulted in their death. And, if she had never had magic, she would never have met all of her wonderful friends. She would have remained the lonely, sad nerd with the buck teeth and frizzy hair and never gotten to experience such a wonderful, fulfilling life at Hogwarts.

Tiredly, she cast a quick tempus charm, seeing that the time was half ten, and she had 45 minutes before transfiguration. She downed her strengthening potion, still feeling the need for it after a sleeping potion, and had a fast shower before braiding her hair and putting on some mascara. Then she left the room, walking quickly through the corridors in order not to miss class.

"Miss Granger, please stay behind." Minerva called out as class ended and the other pupils left the room. She had, like she used to before everything happened, enjoyed the lesson, and had taken her past thrill of learning, answering almost all of the questions as professor McGonagall taught the class their NEWT level lessons. The headmistress was going to stop teaching, as was the norm, but she had wanted to keep on going, so she had one owl and one newt class.

Hermione was glad of this, as not only was the older witch a kind, wise woman, but she was also an extremely good teacher, and transfiguration was one of her favourite subjects because of that.

"How are you today, miss Granger?"

"Fairly good, thanks. Got a good night's sleep.""

"You seem a little more calm today. I'm glad."

"Well, last night, I…"

"What is it, dear?"

"Remus and Tonks know the truth somewhat. And, I spoke to Severus again. It… felt good, to get things off of my chest."

"Well, I am glad they were able to help. If I'm honest, I'm a little glad about them knowing."

"Why?"

"I feel they would be better at giving you advice than me. They are younger than me, and Remus knows a lot about how to comfort, and well, Tonks…"

"Tonks what, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well… she's had some fairly bad relationships, in the past. Being a metamorphagus isn't always an advantage when it comes to trying to become comfortable in yourself as a teenager. I'll leave it to her to tell you more if she wants to, it was a long time ago since I taught her when she was at Hogwarts."

"Oh… Okay."

"And, Hermione, I admire how brave you are being, how mature. If there's any way I can help you, let me know. Oh, and there was something I wanted to ask you…"

"What is it, Professor?" She asked, for once not nervous.

"I was wondering, perhaps, if you might like to become an animagus? I know you have a lot on at the moment, but it might be nice for you to learn, a sort of distraction."

"I'd love to, professor, thank you." Hermione was ecstatic, lips curling into a grin as she looked up at her professor happily.

"Wonderful! I wasn't much younger than you when I learned, and it's a wonderful sense of achievement when you master it. I believe you are more than capable."

Hermione beamed once again, before thanking her professor and heading to lunch, grateful to sit next to her friends who were all most cheerful.

"Dora, Minerva wants to speak to us after supper." Remus spoke softly, "I told her we needed to talk to her." The two sat in their quarters, eating the last of their meal that evening. The full moon was that Wednesday, and Remus preferred to eat his meals in his rooms when his senses were heightened, the great hall was overwhelming at the best of times but when you could smell everything and sense everything in minute detail, it made Remus nauseous and dizzy.

"Ah, okay. About Hermione?"

He nodded slowly, placing his head in his hands, worried.

"Well that'll be fine, we can sort things out." She stood proactively, taking the plates to the kitchen, as Teddy started to grizzle in his high chair. Remus picked up the baby boy, cuddling his son to his chest as the complaints continued.

"I don't know what's wrong with him today, Remus, he's been so grumpy." The woman had been with Teddy whilst Remus taught all of the lessons, as she would take over while he recovered from the full moon. "I couldn't stop him crying earlier… he, he sounds…"

"like he's in pain?" she nodded, biting her lips worriedly. "I can smell the pain, Dora."

"Do you think, maybe…" She sighed, trying to compose the nerves fluttering in her chest. "Could it be to do with the full moon?"

"I don't know Dora. Merlin, I hope not. Its good he hasn't reacted like this before, it might be a cold or something."

"Hopefully." The two sighed, before Tonks walked over to the two, embracing them both. "Whatever happens, we'll get through it together, okay?"

"I wouldn't leave you both again Dora, don't worry."

"I will worry, and so will you, but we're stronger together. It's a good sign that he's a metamorphagus, and it'll be his fifth full moon, and we haven't had anything so far."

"I know. He should be okay, I hope."

They separated, hearing the tell-tale sound of the floo as Minerva popped into the room.

"I'm sorry to intrude like this, but I think we need to talk. You asked to speak to me, Tonks?"

"It's no bother, sit down, please. I was just about to make some tea, would you like some?"

"Yes, please. I fear I know what this is about."

"Well, we wanted to let you know we were aware." Remus said, as he sat down opposite the headmistress. Tonks soon returned, handing each party their tea and taking a seat. She took her husband's hand supportively in anticipation. When she was met with empty silence, she spoke up.

"Narcissa mentioned to me all she knew when she thought I was Lucius, about Hermione being raped whilst she was captured. We spoke to Hermione last night, after dinner." She felt Remus tense slightly next to her, and gave his hand a squeeze.

"Yes, she was. Unfortunately, we don't know who. He was masked. I'm afraid we know no more than you do."

"Could there be DNA evidence?" Tonks spoke, remembering cases in the past she had dealt with. As much as she didn't want to know who had done that, they needed to.

"No, it was all wiped, madam Pomfrey checked."

"Is there anything we can do more than we are already to help her?" Remus spoke, a little quietly.

"I think your support is what she needs most. You're probably both best at discussing this sort of thing with her, better than me at least. Especially you, Tonks."

Tonks paled slightly, and Remus looked at her, confused and alarmed.

"Dora? You haven't been?" The horror on his face was all too apparent, Minerva winced at her error of judgement.

"No, not like that. Had a bad relationship when I was at school, but it wasn't like that don't worry."

"As long as you're okay..."

"I'm sorry, Tonks, I didn't mean to do that." Minerva said, and stood, dusting off her clothes. "I'm going to go now, it's getting late, but thank you for talking to me."

"Thanks Minerva, see you tomorrow."

With that she left, and Tonks stood silently, carrying teddy to bed. Soon, the couple were in their own bed, an awkward silence between them as they sat slightly apart leaning against the headboard.

"Dora-"

"Remus." She interrupted accidentally, placing a hand to her head and rubbing her face. "You go first."

"You don't have to tell me, but I want to help, if I can. I want to know, but only if you want me to."

"It's a long story, Remus. I'm over it now."

"We have all night. Take your time." He took her into his warm arms and the two-slid down, her head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around her lean frame.

"I had a boyfriend when I was in sixth year at Hogwarts. My first real one. He was a Gryffindor. We were happy, really happy, but things started going a bit sour when he found out I was a metamorphagus, I guess." She paused for a moment, taking a breath as his arms tightened a little, sending a delightful shiver down her spine.

"It started with little comment here and there, like how he preferred my hair longer and lighter, or how he liked women with tan complexions and nice lips and eyes. I started morphing myself in little bits, trying to look how he wanted me to. He was so handsome, and the Gryffindor quidditch seeker, and he was kind too" She chuckled bitterly, rolling her eyes. "I really cared about him, and he had so many people after him who were far better looking than I am that I didn't care how I felt, I just wanted to make him happy."

"Then things went a little further." She looked up at him, and Remus smiled comfortingly down at her, hand stroking her arm delicately. "We started sleeping together after a few months, we were seventeen, after all. When he started seeing more of me, he found more things he didn't like. He said he preferred women with slimmer waists, bigger breasts and hips. He'd tell me that I looked okay, but it would be easier for him to 'get off' if I had thinner thighs, if my stomach didn't roll when I bent over. And you know what the worst thing is? I listened to him. I started morphing my weight less and less, but there's only so far you can go and he was never happy. I mean, I could have morphed myself shorter to weigh less but he wanted tall, and however much I morphed it was never enough."

"So, I stopped eating as much, didn't let myself have the same amount of food, and I did more exercise. I kept changing into my base form; checking how much I weighed naturally. I thought that if I got my base weight down I would find it easier to morph. I was desperate but he just kept telling me I was getting there, but not quite his ideal type yet. He'd stare at the girls in my year, and I'd complain but he'd tell me he couldn't help it when I wasn't good enough looking for him. Then, he started talking about other women when we were together, asking me if I'd morph into them when we, you know… I hated myself so much."

"McGonagall had noticed I was quieter, and I'd lost a lot of weight. She saw me walking out of a broom cupboard, after we'd, yeah… He made me wait after he left so it was less suspicious. I hadn't eaten in a week; I was exhausted and so much so that I couldn't morph anymore and I'd been crying about it all and I just remember this look on her face…" A tear rolled down her cheek, but Remus wiped it away with the corner of his thumb, letting his hand rest upon her head softly.

"Anyway, she worked out what had happened. He got punished: excluded and then held back a year. I went to therapy for a bit, tried to gain weight back and get stronger again. I'd been draining my magical reserves – much more and I'd have ended up a squib, the doctors said. It was fairly hard to gain weight back as I'd just morph into a more healthy version of myself which meant therapy was more about mental barriers than physical weight. But, I'm okay now, it was a long time ago."

"Oh Dora, I love you." His eyes were glistening, and she leaned up and kissed him fervently. "You know, to me, you're perfect."

"And that's one off the reasons you're perfect for me! You don't care about my flaws, and I don't care about yours, we just care about each other and what's underneath our skin."

No more words were needed, as the couple fell intertwined into a blissful sleep.

The nerves were writhing in the pit of Hermione's stomach from the very moment she woke that day. It was Tuesday, which meant it had been a week since the incident, and tonight it would repeat. She took her strengthening and pepper up potions, knowing she needed them, and looked down and the bottle of contraceptive that was in her hands, a worried grimace on her face.

Severus could hear her worries, she knew, and for that she felt very sorry. She was fortunate enough that he was a talented enough occlumens to stop his thoughts being heard by her, but he older man not only had to listen to his own worries about the disastrous situation, but also the young woman's thoughts, which would do nothing to make him feel better.

Far from calm, Hermione had pushed her breakfast round her plate, unable to eat more than a few mouthfuls. She did her best to involve herself in the conversations, and her friends didn't look too worried, but she felt so nauseous she wasn't sure she would be able to survive the day.

She was right to be worried, as it turned out, because after barely making it through double potions that morning she found herself in the girls' bathrooms, vomiting up the remains of the little breakfast she had managed. Once she was finished, she washed cool water over her flushed face, rinsing her mouth out and trying not to run back to the loo.

Soon, the time had come for Hermione to leave, and she headed I the direction of the hospital wing, nausea still one of the more prominent feelings she was experiencing. However, the expectation of Poopy handing her an anti-sickness potion and letting her go on her way was soon thrown out of the window when the woman had insisted on carrying out a full set of checks and giving Hermione a bed for a couple of hours.

 _Hermione, is everything okay? Are you in the hospital wing?_ She heard the voice with a groan of annoyance at the man talking in her head.

 _I'm fine. I'm just tired and nauseous._

There was no reply, and Hermione found herself a little frustrated.

 _I'm still fit for tonight, if that's what you're so worried about._

Still, there was no reply, and Hermione huffed in annoyance, taking a sip of water.

"Hermione, are you feeling any better? I have some more potions for you." Hermione took them and the nurse sat down on the end of the hospital bed, smoothing the sheets. Hermione too was sat over the sheets, refusing to go underneath them, although she had had a small nap.

"I am aware, my dear, of what day it is, and what that means."

"Oh… Okay."

"If you need to take the day off tomorrow, you can, and if you want any help afterwards then drop by. Do you need some more strengthening potions?"

"Yes please. And, thanks." She said, a little awkwardly at the subject. "I should go to dinner, or my friends are going to worry."

"Okay, good luck Hermione."

With a nervous nod, the young witch headed to the great hall, where dinner had just begun. She sat next to Ginny, who gave her an odd look.

"How are you feeling? Is everything okay 'Mione?"

"Yeah I'm okay, just a bit shaky. Where are Luna and Neville?"

"They went out to Hogsmead together for dinner with Luna's father. I think they might start dating soon, they've been spending lots of time together."

Hermione grinned, nerves temporarily forgotten. "They'd be so cute together aw."

"I know! Tonks and I have been trying to get them to date for ages."

"How's harry by the way? How's engaged life?"

"Oh it's great! And we had such a nice time at the party, so did Tonks, I heard."

"Yes…" Hermione laughed, the mental image of a singing – or more like shrieking – Tonks stumbling around was one she would have with her for a long time. "I think it rather entertained Remus too, although he did have to look after her."

The meal continued, and Ginny's lovely presence distracted Hermione enough that she was able to eat a little, and smile somewhat. However, once they had returned to the common room to do some studying Hermione found herself stuck between watching the clock and rereading the same sentence in her potions book, completely unable to concentrate. By this point Ginny had become all too aware of the witch's tapping foot and fumbling fingers, and she looked up from her essay.

"Hermione, do you want to get some fresh air? I'm fed up of this herbology essay."

Hermione gave a brief nod, and the two went outside, standing in the autumn sunset.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or shall I try to guess?" She folded her arms and looked at the troubled witch, who scrunched up her face and dropped her head a little.

"Sorry Ginny, I can't. Not yet, anyway."

"Why darling? I'm the last person who'll judge you, you know that."

"I just… can't. I will, but not yet."

"Okay. Take your time, I'm here and ready when you are."

She pulled Hermione into a hug, and then the two wandered back into the castle, Hermione knowing it was almost time.

She bid her goodbyes, saying she was getting an early night, before heading to the room McGonagall had told her to, knocking once on the door before slipping inside at the voice telling her to enter.

Snape stood inside, stiffer than usual, with an iron-like expression of nothing in particular on his face.

"Do you feel better?"

Hermione nodded, ignoring the urge to cry.

"Go to the bedroom, remove your underwear and get under the covers, I will be through in a moment."

So this was how it was going to happen, a cold, harsh encounter seeing as little of one another as possible. Hermine didn't mind, but the emotionless brutality of the situation did nothing to aid her nerves. She got into the room, took off her knickers, skirt and shoes, and got into the bed, silent as she lay in the centre.

Snape walked in, dimming the lights so it was pitch black, but Hermione could see he still wore all of his robes, save his shoes. He got into the bed next to her, still silent, and arranged himself so that he was on top of her, supported by his arms so he did not touch her. Hermione had spread her legs, and with a fairly smooth motion he undid the front of his trousers, before bracing himself, and lifted up her skirt. He was finding the situation as difficult as she was, and it took a great deal of imagination for him to get aroused enough for this to work.

When he pushed himself into her finally with a groan, and began to slowly thrust in and out, Hermione bit her lips to stop a gasp of pain and hurt emerging. The event was less painful than it had been the week before, but it was still far from tolerable, and she shut herself off from the man looming above her, closing her eyes. She clenched her fists so hard she knew she would leave marks. Nevertheless, tears continued to stream softly, and she angled her face away from his.

Happy place, happy place, happy place. She thought, but the miraculous image wouldn't come to her, instead she became all too aware of the fact that the man so close to her that was inside of her was her cold, scarred professor.

After a few minutes of torture his thrusts became more erratic, and she began to feel his thoughts penetrate her mind as he lost control. It was like whispers, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking until they grew with clarity as he lost himself in the moment. They were still muffled, she couldn't make them out until he thrust into he a final time, with a name:

 _Lily._

Then, in a flash he had gone, and Hermione was left confused, hurt and angry.

She quickly redressed herself, mumbling words of self-comfort, before stumbling out of the room into the corridor. Her head was everywhere, and she knew she probably needed to sort herself out before going into the corridor, but she was so disorientated she could only stumble around. Walking quickly back to her room, she failed to see Remus and Tonks, who were sat on the ground near the gardens together. The couple looked over, but seeing she hadn't noticed them they let her pass.

Finally, she reached the dorm room, stumbling inside with a hurried mumbling of the password and ignoring Neville's greetings from the sofa. She needed to get out, to get to the shower so she could scrub the feeling of him off of her. Turning up the water hotter than she needed to, she stood under and began to clean the feeling off of her. She stayed under the water for goodness knows how long, but she still felt so unclean, so dirty.

A knock at the door snapped Hermione out of her daze, and her eyes snapped to the door.

"Hermione, its Ginny. Let me in, please."

How did Ginny know she was here? Why was she here? Was it Neville? The thoughts raced through Hermione's mind and she grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself.

Ginny murmured a quick alohomora, letting herself in as she saw Hermione, gasping a little at how awful she looked. Her hair was still in a wet topknot, and her face was red from crying, but the worst part was the young woman's skin. It was rubbed red raw, and bright pink from the shower.

"Oh Hermione…" She brought the traumatised witch into her arms, and Hermione started crying again, the tears falling freely from her eyes. It was at that moment Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to lie herself out of the situation.

She would have to tell Ginny everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **A/N Hey guys, apologies for the lack of updates recently, turns out doing GCSEs takes up a lot of time and I have a lot of revision to do! But, it's the easter holidays so there should be a couple more updates over the next two weeks.**

 **Anyway, this chapter has quite a lot of different things in it, and an important Remus/Tonks part starts off, which affects the later chapters. Let me know if there's too much Remus and Tonks - they're my favourite characters, so I really enjoy writing them!**

 **Thakyou to ndavis77, jmullinax, guest and Hammylammy for reviewing the last chapter, and to all of you who have favourited and followed! I promise that Snape will get nicer in the future, I just wanted to show him as the flawed character he is, and I don't want them to fall in love straight away.**

 **Please Review, fave, or follow if you enjoy it, and tell me what you think**

 **H xx**

* * *

 **"** Shall we start with the beginning?" Ginny spoke gently, passing Hermione a hot cup of cocoa and sitting opposite her on the bed. The older witch's face was low, hair in a topknot after Ginny had dried it for her. She wore loose pyjamas, and the younger witch had waited patiently for her to dress herself before they sat on Hermione's bed.

"I covered your shift on the night patrols, saw Snape hurrying out of this room, then you a few minutes later. Is something going on with him?"

"I guess…"

"Was he involved with the death eater attack, did he attack you? Because if he's switched sides we can sort it babe… if he's threatening you…"

"It's not that. He hasn't switched sides." She said, thickly, sniffing as tears threatened to spring. "I can't tell you, he wouldn't want me to."

"I don't give a damn what he thinks Hermione!" Hermione flinched at the outburst, and Ginny calmed herself, speaking more gently, "When my best friend comes out of a room looking as dishevelled and upset as you did after being in there with a professor, I need to know what's going on! Your shoes were on the wrong feet and you were crying, for merlin's sake, it's not like you were studying extra credit potions with him!"

"I- I don't know what to say."

Snape, if he was listening, stayed silent in Hermione's mind, but Hermione didn't care what he thought about her telling Ginny. Ginny was kind and strong, and had a right to know.

A little more firmly, Ginny spoke up again. "Are you sleeping with him or something? I'm not going to judge you."

A nod.

"Oh 'Mione babe. Is he forcing you?"

"It's not his fault…"

"Oh, yeah I'll believe that when I see it."

"Don't, its… complicated. It will be okay in time, we just need to sort things out and were still adjusting."

"I'm sorry 'Mione, but why him? He's been nothing but horrid to you, and it's against the school rules. How can it be anything apart from forced?"

"It kind of is… but he hasn't got a say in it either, I guess." She paused, hands gripping the mug so hard her knuckles were turning white. "It was, when I got captured. Have you heard of soul bonding?"

"I'm not sure if I want to."

Hermione sighed, and Ginny placed a consoling hand on hers.

"Take your time."

"It's an ancient form of dark magic. Lucius bound Severus and I together. We are mentally and physically linked, we hear each-others thoughts, feel each-others pain, die when the other does. Part of the bonding includes a physical side. We have to… renew the bonds every week."

"I assume that means sexually? And forever?"

Hermione nodded. "He put Snape under the inmperius curse the first time, to make us, you know…"

"Oh sweetie…" Ginny swallowed, putting one hand on her mouth. "This is such a lot to deal with on your own."

"A few know. McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, Him – obviously." She paused. "Remus and Tonks know somewhat, but they don't know about Snape. They know I was raped."

"How did they take it?"

"Pretty well. They were really good about it, I just can't tell them everything. They have their own problems and I don't want it to turn into a big deal."

"I get that, but I feel like although them knowing would be difficult, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I'm glad you told me, and I respect that you aren't ready to tell them yet, it's completely understandable and it isn't just you it affects, I guess you do have to think about how it would affect Snape."

"Thank you Ginny." Ginny shook her head, taking Hermione's untouched hot chocolate and setting it down before giving her a tight hug. She pulled her back after a few moments, and patted Hermione's shoulder, emulating her mother's kind nature.

"So, what upset you so much last night? Did you have to renew these bond things?"

Hermione nodded once, fiddling with her hands. "He was a bit of an arse about it." Ginny gave her a look and she snorted, feeling surprisingly amused. "okay, a lot of an arse. I think it was to be expected but like we had had conversations and things were better, and I wasn't expecting rose petals, but…"

"What happened? Was it awkward? Was it painful?"

"Not as much as the first time, but a bit. We barely spoke, and when he, you know… He said a name."

"Who?"

"Lily."

"Well shit. That's low, even for him."

"I mean I expect he'd want to think of something else when we have to do it, for him to get off enough for it to work-"

"That doesn't mean he can say the name of your best friend's dead mother when he comes! What a twat!"

"Hmm."

"Sorry, it's a lot to take in. I know he's okay really, he's on our side and I doubt he would find any of this easy either, but…"

"I get you. When he's spent so much of our school lives being horrible, it's difficult to imagine him being nice again. I have no idea how were going to make it work, but I guess we'll have to…" she trailed off, picking at a loose thread on the blanket.

"Try not to think of that for now, it won't help. What you need now is sleep, and the rest of that cocoa."

"Yes mum." Hermione spoke with a smirk, but consented, and took a sip of the deliciously sweet drink, face scrunching up in delight.

"Right, I'll be round tomorrow morning to pick you up for breakfast, you need to eat more, you're getting awfully thin." She gave Hermione one last hug, smirking "Now I really sound like my mum… I'd best be off."

"Thanks Ginny, love you."

"Love you too, and thank you for telling me. Night now." The younger witch snuck out through the door, and Hermione finished her cocoa, before drifting off into sleep.

Ginny, on the other hand, had fa more important things she wanted to do. She needed to have a word with professor Snape.

Walking down the staff corridors and knocking sharply on the potion master's door, Ginny had never felt more scared and nervous, but she had a true grim determination that made it apparent she wasn't just in Gryffindor because of her heritage.

It was a moment before he answered, but when he did, he instantly beckoned her in, looking over her shoulder to see if there was anyone watching.

"Why are you here? To hex me?" he was wearing his impeccable robes, as per usual, and he had a cold scowl on his face. A bottle of whisky stood next to his chair by the fire, and although it was still unopened, Ginny suspected that by the end of the night there wouldn't be much left.

"No, but I am tempted."

"It's not my fault, I have no say in things either."

"I get that, I do. But you could make things easier by not being such an arse about it. I can only imagine it doesn't make you happy, but I know how upset Hermione was, and I guess you do too, if you hear her thoughts."

"I am aware I could have been more sensitive."

"And I'm not here to lecture you. I just wanted to check if you were alright."

"I don't need your pity. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"I wasn't finished. I also wanted to let you know that if you ever treat Hermione like that again, you will regret it. I'm very disappointed."

With that, she left his chambers, leaving him to huff, and slump into his armchair. She had been harsh, and whilst she knew he probably didn't need it, she didn't really regret it.

She walked down the corridor with cautious steps, aware that although Minerva would understand her being out of bed close to midnight, Filch would not. However, her heart sank as she saw Dora turn around, leaning on the wall outlooking the courtyard, and give her a wave.

"What are you doing out of bed Ginny, is everything okay?" The witch's voice was tired, and her face pale, but her hair was fortunately still her own shade of pink.

"Fine, thanks."

"Been visiting Harry?" She said with a chuckle, and Ginny nodded, trying to turn her grin of glee at the handy lie into an embarrassed expression. "Don't worry, your secrets safe with me…"

"How come you're out here? Is everything okay with you?"

Dora sighed a little, but nodded. "Teddy isn't feeling so happy at the moment. Remus said he'd get him to sleep while I have a break. I needed air."

"I'm sorry. What's up with him, do you know?"

"We aren't sure. We're a bit worried it's the moon, but he might just have a cold. I hope it's just a cold…"

"Oh Dora… Me too. It'll be okay, whatever happens. After all, it's been okay so far, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has."

"How's Remus dealing with it?"

"Not well. He, we both thought that because he's a metamorphagus it would be okay, and he never changed before. But he's in pain, Remus can sense it, and Remus doesn't want to take him to Mungo's in case they keep him in. We don't know what to do tomorrow on the full moon, because what if he transforms, Ginny? What if my baby needs me and I can't help him?"

Dora let a few stray tears slip, before Ginny drew her into a hug and she pulled herself together.

"Goodness me, sorry Gin… I'm fine, it'll be okay."

"You don't need to apologise, and it'll all be better soon, were here for you three."

"When did you grow up so fast, goodness me! Right, I'd better walk you back, so you don't get hounded by another crying person." The wasn't the usual sparkle in her eyes as she laughed, but Ginny ignored that, and the two discussed Ginny's wedding plans before they reached the common room and Ginny slipped inside, heading straight for bed. She was exhausted, comforting two different people in the space of two hours, but it meant that the pressure of people's worries stayed out of her mind and she drifted into a good sleep.

"Right lazybones! Up you get now!" Ginny said, bursting into Hermione's room, and making the woman groan in discomfort at the sudden light shining into the room. She had slept without potions for the first time, and surprisingly still felt that she had had enough sleep.

"Oh, but why?" she moaned, semi-sarcastically, but got out of bed into a tight hug from Ginny. "You know I love you really right? And you know how grateful I am for everything?"

"Alright I know, it's a bit early for us to get deep, you go brush that hair and I'll see you downstairs."

"Okay Gin."

Twenty minutes later and a fresh-faced Hermione emerged, seeing a waiting Ginny and Neville downstairs, chatting. They smiled at her, and soon the three went to breakfast together, sitting at the table with Luna.

"The post's here!" Ginny cried excitedly, and soon they all received their letters. Hermione received one from harry, and quickly opened it.

 _Dear Hermione,_

 _How are you getting on? I hope everyone is well, and you're coping okay after the attack. I am sorry I didn't get to talk to you much at the party, and Ron and I are sorry we didn't go to the order meeting to get Narcissa and Draco and to help you. I've been fairly busy but good, Ron and I's auror training is going well, although it's very difficult and it makes Snape's potions lessons seem nice! How is school going? Are you still acing all of your subjects? Don't overwork yourself, and I hope to see you soon, I miss you – and so does Ron ;) (joking I know you guys aren't together anymore). I think Ron, Sirius and I are coming the next time Remus and Dora do dinner, so I should see you soon._

 _Take care and look after yourself, lots of love,_

 _Harry x_

 _p.s hi from Ron, sorry I'll send you a letter myself soon._

The letter made Hermione feel horribly sentimental, although this was soon wiped away when Luna asked, "Do you guys know where the Lupins are? They aren't at the main table." She glanced over, but sure enough they weren't, and there were three empty spaces at the table.

"I saw Tonks last night, Teddy isn't very well so maybe they're having a lie in?" Ginny suggested, and Hermione felt nervous at the prospect of Teddy being ill on the day of the full moon.

"I hope it isn't the moon." Luna said, reading everyone's minds, and the others nodded soberly, chewing their toast.

Once they were finished, it was time for lessons, and Ginny gave Hermione's hand a quick squeeze before she and Luna had to go to potions. Hermione smiled gratefully at the young witch, feeling soothed somewhat although she still had nerves writhing in her stomach at the prospect of double potions with professor Snape. She'd have to get used to that though, she reasoned, given they'd have to do their ritual every Monday night followed by potions every Tuesday morning, and she'd either have to give up potions or learn to cope.

"Hermione? You're very quiet today." Luna spoke once they had sat at their desk, and she opened her mouth to respond when Severus burst through the door, a stormy expression on his face.

"Turn to page 596, and write 8 inches of parchment researching the uses of the dungbeetle in modern potions, in silence." He sat at the front, and Luna raised her eyebrows at Hermione before the two got on with their work in silence.

 _Is everything okay, Severus?_

 _Fine. Get on with your work._

 _I'm finished._

 _Of course you are._

 _Piss off_

 _I'd love to, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be possible._

 _Why are you so grumpy?_

 _I had a late-night visit from your good friend miss Weasley. It has come to my attention that I owe you an apology for how I behaved last night._

 _It's not your fault. Ginny probably owes you one herself now._

 _Maybe. But, I promise it won't be like that again. Would you appreciate a potion? One to perhaps speed me up and numb you a little._

 _You want to sedate me?_

 _Goodness no! You misunderstood. I can give you a potion that would numb your body, so you wouldn't feel it. I don't want to give you some date-rape drug. It would only last for that amount of time, I just figured…_

 _That would be nice, thanks._

 _No problem._

"Remus? I'm back, love." Dora Lupin called out as she walked through the door to their quarters that evening, taking of her heavy cloak and setting it gently on its hook. She could hear Teddy's cries from the bedroom, and walked through to see an exasperated Remus rocking him, trying hopelessly to stop his cries.

"How long?"

"Two hours now. He might be hungry." Tonks gave Remus a quick kiss on the lips before taking her son, unhooking her bra and nursing him. However, he was too overwhelmed to feed, and shook his head, screaming harder. She pulled her shirt back up and sighed, holding him close and gently rocking him until he calmed somewhat. He let out little whimpers, but at least he wasn't screaming anymore.

"We need a plan, for if the worst happens tonight." Remus spoke quietly, and Dora nodded, heart heavy at the miserable expression on his face. Normally, Remus took his wolfsbane and stayed in a small, dedicated room near their bedroom during his transformations, heavily warded to prevent him from escaping. "If Teddy transforms, you won't be safe."

"But he's just a baby… surely he would just become a baby wolf."

"He would, but if he bit you you'd still be infected." Remus let out a heavy sigh, and Dora drew the three of them into a close hug.

"You should keep him in with you."

"I don't know…"

"He'll be safe, Moony wouldn't hurt him, especially with wolfsbane. Besides, what other option is there? We can't leave a five-month-old baby on their own."

"I hope he doesn't transform. I'm sure he won't, but if he does, well get through it together, like we always do, hey?"

Dora was greeted with silence from Remus, but ignored it, stroking his back. Once they had attempted to eat, they started to set up the wards around the room. There was a large mattress on the floor, with a window and a small cot, where baby Teddy would stay. If the coast was clear, and Teddy didn't transform, then Dora would wait for Remus to howl three times for three seconds each, then she would come and get him. If he only howled once, then, well… none of them wanted to know about that.

Remus had slipped on his dressing gown, and was sat on the mattress forlornly, whilst Dora tended to a wailing Teddy. It was late, but Dora didn't want to leave, and time was running out, and Teddy's cries were getting louder and louder.

"You have to go now love. Please." She gave Remus a long kiss, before kissing Teddy's damp head and placing him gently into his cot. Then, she stepped outside, stood directly on the other side of the door as she reinforced the wards.

She checked the time. One minute left until moonrise.

Teddy's cries got louder, and she heard Remus try to sooth him.

Thirty seconds.

Why was Teddy so loud?

Twenty seconds.

How can he be in this much pain?

Ten seconds.

Silence, finally, but it felt worse than the noise.

"Dora?" he whispered through the door.

"I love you Remus."

"I love you too."

An agonizing scream, a piercing wail and two sickening cracks.

 _Two_.

A mournful howl was heard by Dora.

Numb, she waited, waited for the next two.

Waited for it all to be okay.

Waited for her baby to be okay.

Just when she thought another howl wouldn't come, she heard one.

But, it couldn't be Remus. It was a tiny, pain-filled howl from a baby wolf.

From her baby.

She sank to the floor, cast a silencing charm on the room and howled herself. She wasn't sure if the charm was for her, or for Remus, but she needed to cry, to let it out.

When she'd found out she was pregnant, and told Remus, he'd vanished. He was so afraid of himself, that he would pass it on, that he became someone who wasn't himself. She had spent hours convincing him it would be okay, that her baby would be fine, that it wasn't passed down genetically. They had believed it, when he was born and when he was a metamorphagus.

Would Remus run away again, ashamed? How could he believe she would forgive him? Would he leave her and Teddy alone, to go and join the pack again?

She did forgive him, of course, she would never blame him. She loved him, she loved Teddy, she didn't care that they were werewolves. It wasn't Remus' fault, and although it was awful, they were still lucky to have a son.

She decided, she would undo the wards. She needed to tell Moony that she loved him regardless, and to tell Teddy. She took them down, and stepped inside, hearing a warning growl from Remus.

"You couldn't keep me out, love." She chuckled grimly, and took a look around the room. Moony was curled up on the mattress, and huddled in the middle was the tiny ball of fur that was her son. Her baby.

Remus' soft, wolf nose tickled her hand, and she ran her hand through the coarse fur on Moony's head. Unlike popular myth, werewolves looked identical to ordinary wolves, and Moony's amber eyes looked up at her, a mourning, guilty expression riddled within them, and she sank to the floor next to him. He was a large wolf, and her arms wrapped around him as she looked at her baby on the floor. Soon, he sat up, leaving Teddy as a little bundle of fluff, curled up on the floor.

Tonks leaned against the wolf as she watched him, and the bundle slowly unfurled before getting up shakily. It stretched and whined, and Remus nuzzled it with his nose, before the baby werewolf walked to Tonks and nuzzled into her lap. He yawned, and when she saw he had no teeth yet, she brought him onto her lap, holding her breath for fear of losing control. She hadn't expected the worst. She had hoped her baby would be fine, but she couldn't protect him. She felt so, so hurt in that moment, and an anguished sob left her lips as she lost control, burying her face in the wolf beside her as her son lay in her lap.

Picking him up, she cradled him to her chest, trying to quell her tears, and his whimpers subsided as he fell asleep in her arms.

That was how they stayed unable to sleep, the wolves and the woman, for the rest of the dark night. They stayed still until the moon sank once more and dawn broke out, spelling the end of what could be described as the worst night of Dora's life.

"Headmistress?" Hermione called out from around the door of the head's office the morning after the full moon, after breakfast had ended, knowing this difficult conversation was necessary.

"Hermione? Come in, dear." Hermione entered, and took a seat opposite the headmistress. "What can I do for you?"

"I think you might need to go and see if Remus and Tonks are okay. They weren't at breakfast, and well, we were getting worried."

"It is normal for them to miss breakfast after a full moon, Hermione. Try not to worry, I'm sure everything is fine."

"I just, Teddy has been ill, and I'm worried about them…"

"Well, you have DADA third lesson, don't you?" Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "You can see then. Now, shall we walk to class? I have an OWL class now, and I believe you have ancient runes."

Walking to their respective classes, they were little late, and they noticed an awful lot of noise coming from the DADA classroom. Looking worriedly between themselves, they peered in, and saw there was no sign of a teacher, whether it would be Dora or Remus. Minerva commanded the class to wait quietly behind their seats, and the two hurried to the staff quarters, knocking on Remus and Tonks' door.

Dora answered the door, a few minutes later, and they both inhaled softly at her bedraggled expression and red eyes. They could hear teddy wailing in the background.

"It's him. Its Remus. My, they, He's gone. He's left us again."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Hey guys, back with a new update!

I've had some reviews commenting on Snape (Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate it!) and I want to say something about how I am writing Snape to make things a little clearer: to me, he isn't completely innocent or naturally kind, and I don't want to write him like that. I grew up reading these books as a young girl, and to me Snape was always a bad character, and although we gain insight into why he is like this, my views are different to lots of people who write similar fanfictions to this one. He is a man who has been warped by bad luck, jealousy, hurt and loss, and this story is a journey for him as well as Hermione.

He will become a better man, but it won't happen quickly, and his nature isn't going to change overnight, so please bear with me! I feel like it's important for him to change slowly, because he's been so bitter for so long, and this experience should really make him more bitter. It would feel OOC for me if he suddenly fell in love with hermione and became a kind, gentle man , so I'm going to change him slowly.

Also, as someone who has suffered abuse in a relationship in the past, although nothing like this, I know how important it is that this doesn't turn into a 'stockholm syndrome' kind of text. It's going to be slow burn to make it more realistic, so don't hold out for romance any time soon…

Thankyou for reading this fic (and the incredibly long author's note – sorry) and hope you enjoy the next chapter : )

(Aaand, thankyou to everyone who has favourited, followed, and reviewed the story. If you have any suggestions or opinions please leave them, I love constructive criticism!)

* * *

Over the next few days, Hermione found herself buried in helping Tonks and Teddy, waiting for Remus to come to his senses and return. Tonks had, surprisingly, not appeared to be as depressed as the last time he left her, but her hair was still a lank brown and her face was still pale.

After a brief explanation of what had happened, Teddy had been taken to St Mongo's to be tested, and to have treatment after a full moon transformation. He had stayed in hospital for a day, being such a young baby meant the transformation could be dangerous, and they needed to heal his bones which had failed to re-join properly when he re-transformed. Dora had refused to leave his side, and Hermione was sure that the reason she was being so strong was because of Teddy.

None of them knew where Remus had gone. He'd said he was coming back, he just wanted to "Go for a long walk and have a think about things", and perhaps it was this that had stopped Dora falling apart completely. He had said he loved her, and Teddy, and wasn't leaving them, just having a break, but none of them could really understand what was going on his head.

When they'd asked Dora if she had any ideas, she'd shook her head dejectedly. Apparently, he went for a lot of troubled walks, mostly leaving early evening and returning ate morning. He never said where he went, just that he was sorry and he loved her and he'd be back.

Tonks buried herself in her teaching, taking on all their joint classes whilst andromeda looked after teddy most of the time. In the evenings, Hermione would keep Tonks and Teddy company, and help Tonks grade papers before she returned to her quarters and slept.

Several days later, on Sunday evening, Hermione, Dora and Sirius were sat in the living room, eating takeaway Chinese and trying to enjoy themselves, when they heard someone burst through the door.

"Remus!" Tonks cried, and the three of them got up to see a ragged Remus coming through the door, and Dora wrapped him in a tight hug, arms around his neck.

"Dora. Are you okay?" He muttered softly, pulling her away and looking at his pale, mousy wife. "I'm sorry I left again."

"Its fine, all that matters is you're back sweetheart." She spoke, looking away and allowing Remus to greet Sirius, hugging him tight.

"Shall we go and sit through there? I'll get some hot chocolate." Hermione spoke, and the three nodded, walking through to the sitting room. Hermione brought the trhee drinks, and sat next to Sirius. Remus had his arm around Dora, on the other sofa, and she was holding his hand.

"Thanks, Hermione." Sirius said, warmly, taking the drink. "So, Remus, how are you feeling now?"

"Better, a lot better. I- I know I shouldn't leave, but I just…"

"Sweetheart don't worry, we understand."

"How is Teddy?"

"Asleep. Alive. It was a lot for him to handle, but he's been strong enough so far. He should manage the next transformations better."

"Better?"

"He had to go to Mungo's. He- his bones didn't join back properly after he re-transformed." Tonks was quiet, and Remus grimaced painfully.

"I'm so sorry Dora."

"Remus, don't…"

"You needed me and I wasn't there."

"You weren't, but I'm tough. We got through it, and you're back now. That's what matters."

"But Remus," Sirius started from the other side of the table. "If you keep abandoning my cousin, Padfoot isn't going to be happy."

They chuckled, and sipped their hot chocolate quietly, thinking to themselves.

"You know," Hermione started. "With Kingsley as Minister, things may well start getting better for werewolves."

"That's true." Sirius said. "Lots is changing outside, in the real world, while you guys are here. People's views are changing, and they're much less prejudiced now the majority read the quibbler and not the prophet."

Remus and Dora merely nodded softly, and Hermione and Sirius took it as their cue to leave the couple. Dora was teaching tomorrow, and they wanted time alone after nearly four days apart.

Hermione checked the time, and , seeing she had to do her rounds now, started to walk down the corridor, keeping an eye out for any students. She let her mind wander a little, thinking about Teddy, his future.

It was true that laws were changing with a more liberal minister, and Teddy would, when he grew up, probably have more rights than any other werewolves before him. And, if Hermione went into politics like she wanted to, when she left Hogwarts, she could help him, and he would probably end up with normal rights.

He also had kind, understanding parents who would know how to raise him to not feel inferior because of his condition. Remus and Dora Lupin were lovely, and completely accepting – as well as one of the more formidable couples in the order of the phoenix. If there was a better pair of people to raise a baby with lycanthropy, it was them.

These thoughts were soothing, but there was also the question of the pain Teddy would have to go through every month, and the risk of illness and early death associated with lycanthropy. She couldn't help but feel like she needed a cure, to find some way of stopping this so that there was no pain.

 _There is no cure_

Ah, the pleasant voice of Severus Snape in her head again.

 _I'm sorry. I can leave you alone, if you want?_

 _No. it's okay. Have you ever studied lycanthropy?_

 _Not much, but a little._

 _Then how do you know there's no cure?_

 _Don't you think one would have been discovered by now?_

 _I don't think it's impossible, just no one has cared enough yet. The ministry isn't going to be keen to fund so much research when money could be used elsewhere._

 _What if we cared?_

 _What?_

 _Will you help me? I want to help Teddy and Remus._

 _Why should I?_

 _They make me happy. They deserve happiness themselves._

 _Okay._

 _Really?_

 _Don't make me change my mind. We will discuss it later, for now, I think your rounds are finished – I want to go to bed and you trying to cure lycanthropy won't help my mind settle._

Hermione chuckled softly and headed back to her common room to go to bed. Things were looking up, she decided, and they were.

Hermione had double potions that Tuesday morning, but it wasn't until she was sat in defence against the dark arts before lunch that she heard from Severus.

 _Hermione._

She dropped her quill and jumped at the sound, knocking over her inkwell, causing Dora to halt her lecture on dementors and look at Hermione, along with the rest of the class.

"Sorry…" She mumbled, cleaning up the mess, and Dora carried on, but Hermione wasn't paying attention. She realised what day it was.

Tuesday

A week had passed.

 _Sorry, yes?_

 _Is everything okay Hermione?_

 _Fine, you?_

 _Extraordinary._

 _It's tonight, isn't it?_

 _Yes. Is that okay?_

 _It'll have to be._

 _I have a potion for you._

 _Oh. Thankyou._

 _I can… Do things differently tonight, if you want._

 _Maybe… I don't really know what I want._

There was silence, but she knew he was there.

 _Thanks, though, for being kind. I know you don't find it easy._

 _It's nothing more than I owe you._

"Hermione?" Ginny nudged her, snapping her out.

 _I'll leave you to it._

"Are you coming Hermione? Lessons over." Ginny spoke again, "Is it him again?"

She nodded.

"Is it who?" Tonks spoke from near the two, curious as to why the two were still sat down when everyone had left.

"Nevermind. Doesn't matter." Tonks frowned slightly, but smiled anyway.

"Did you pay attention to any of that lesson?" Tonks laughed.

"Sorry, I got the beginning."

"Its fine, just catch it up, yeah?" Hermione nodded. "Anything wrong? Or is it just an off day?"

"Just an off day. Thanks Dora, I'll see you later."

"Bye girls."

"So, what's it actually?" Ginny asked as they left the classroom "Is it tonight?"

"Did I tell you about the thoughts thing?"

"Yeah."

"He just spoke to me again. It's quite hard to multitask, I guess."

"Ahh, okay. Wait, it he in your head all the time? And you in his?"

"No always, he can control it because of his occlumency. He can choose completely whether to be in my head, but he has to block me out."

"Is he going to teach you occlumency?"

She nodded. "I think so. For his benefit, as much as mine."

"Let's hope it goes better than it did with harry…"

She laughed, and Ginny chuckled, a warm atmosphere surrounding them.

"Are you nervous, for tonight?"

"A little. He says he's going to be better tonight."

"Good, Weasleys don't give empty threats."

"So you threatened him?"

"Only a little. I asked him if he was okay first."

"Good, I'm glad you spoke to him. He needed snapping out of it."

"I try my best."

"He's got a potion for me, to numb me from the waist down or something."

"Oh." She frowned slightly. "How do you feel about that?"

"I like the idea, I think. For now, at least it feels easier to pretend its not happening."

"Hmm, okay, fair enough."

Hermione couldn't help but think that Ginny felt differently, although she didn't want to say. She knew that she couldn't make the truth go away forever, but for now she felt like she needed to heal, and that couldn't happen while she felt things every week.

Hermione worked her way through herbology and arithmancy, and after dinner, she headed straight for the library, eager to get some work done. On her way, however, she spotted a familiar face striding through the corridors.

"Harry! Hi!" She cried, and ran up to hug him. Enveloped in a tight hug, she pulled him close. She'd missed her best friend so, so much, and it was sad how her and him were separated, when they used to see each other every day.

"Hermione." He breathed. "How are you?"

"Fine, really. How about you? What are you doing today?"

"Good, good. Just here to see Ginny, Dora and Remus - and you, actually. Molly baked these cookies, and she wants you all to have them. Shall we head to see Remus and Tonks? Are you busy?"

"Yeah let's go!" They set off walking, and fell quickly into easy conversation.

"I just want to check; do you know about Teddy?"

"What about him?" Obviously not… She guessed he wouldn't, Dora and Remus were still adjusting and she just didn't want Harry to say something to upset them.

"He… He's got lycanthropy."

"Merlin…"

"Remus has just got back, so just stick to different topics, yeah?"

"Just got back?"

"He left for four days, after the full moon. Said he needed to clear his head, but he's back now, they're okay."

"Jesus… That's awful. Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. We don't want to upset them at the moment. Things are a bit unsteady."

 _Hermione, are you on your way?_

 _Shit. What time is it?_

 _Its time… We can't be late, needs to be the next half an hour._

 _How do I get out of this then?_

 _Say I gave you detention, or we have to do some potions. Quickly._

"Oh, Bollocks." Hermione said a few minutes after they'd knocked on the door and Remus had let them in.

"What is it?" Remus asked, the three others glancing at her curiously.

"I've got detention with Snape now…"

"Detention? Since when did you have detention?" Dora said, as she set tea down in front of them all.

"I didn't finish a potion last lesson."

"And he thinks that's a crime? For pities sake!"

"It's okay, I don't mind."

"I mind! He knows you were attacked, how can he expect you to be in a normal mindset! The insensitive prick, He picked you up after you were raped so he must have s-" Hermione cringed at Dora's outburst and Harry's look of horror. "Oh, shit sorry, sorry. God, sorry Hermione."

"Wait, what?" Harry's voice was soft, dangerous.

"That's what happened when I got attacked. And before you ask, No, I don't know who, and I'm sorry I just really need to go!"

"Hermione I'll cover for you with Snape, cancel the detention." Remus spoke gently, and Hermione's heart sank.

"I'm sorry, I just need to go!"

"Why?" Harry said. "if Snape knows, he should understand why you wouldn't finish a potion." He paused, thinking to himself. "How many know the truth?"

Hermione wasn't listening, her mind was too busy, so Dora spoke up, "Us, Minerva, Poppy and Severus."

"And the death eaters? Was it even them?"

"Of course it was! Who else would it be!" Hermione snapped back, their voices were rising in volume.

"Well how was I to know when I don't know anything about this!"

"It's not something I wanted to spread around, is it?"

"So you'll tell Snape but not me?"

"You have no idea what's going on! None of you do!"

"Well that's hardly our fault!"

"No, Harry, don't you dare. You have no idea how fucked up this is, how big and how scary! None of you do, and I can't do anything about it because it's going to be like this forever. I can't change the future, I'm trapped, fucking trapped and you're jealous because I didn't tell you when you were too preoccupied with your engagement but I can't get engaged because I'm stuck and if I do something wrong I'll die! So, don't blame me when I can't phone you up for a little chat."

Silence met the four of them, stunning them until harry swallowed dryly. Hermione could feel a numbing icy pain in her head, but she pushed it down.

"I'm sorry, I was just angry, not at you, never at you." He reached out to touch her arm but she flinched away. The pain was growing and she couldn't think.

"No, I overreacted, I'm sorry."

"Hermione." She looked over to Remus, who was stood next to Dora with a perplexed expression on his face. "What do you mean if you do something wrong you'll die? Why can't you get engaged?"

"I… I don't really know to be honest. I didn't mean it."

"Okay…"

The pain was growing, building in her head.

 _Hermione, we need to do this. The pain is because of the bond – we don't have much time._

 _Okay, I'll leave._

"Sorry, I have to go to this detention, were going to do some occlumency. I… I'll be back in like forty minutes, if you want."

"Sure. We can wait, the occlumency sounds like a good idea." Dora spoke, and the others nodded.

"Yeah, that's fine." Said Harry, looking distinctly guilty.

She shot off, darting down the corridor in search of the right room. When she found it, she didn't bother to knock, simply entering, eager to get out of sight as fast as possible.

"Hermione." She turned around and saw Snape waiting for her.

"Sorry, had a situation."

"I know. I'm sorry…" She shook her head at him. "Here's the potion, it should work immediately. You might want to sit down when you take it, if you feel ready? I'll wait and tell me to come in when you're ready."

She nodded numbly, nerves building in her stomach. She made her way to the bedroom and took off her shoes and underwear, smoothing her skirt once again and sitting on the covers in the middle of the bed. Then, she took the top off the potion, and gave it a tentative sniff, it smelled like raspberries and vanilla, and she quickly downed it in one swoop, noticing it tasted the same.

The effect was almost instant, and as she slumped back on the bed, numb from the bottom of her ribs down, she was extremely glad Snape had told her to sit down.

"You can come in now." She called out, nerves racing in her heart, and she tried to control her breathing when he came in, dimming the lights so dark neither of them could see properly.

"Are you feeling okay? Did the potion work?" She nodded numb, and he opened his mouth again. "Would you mind if I turned you the other way around? So you were bent over the edge of the bed? It might make it easier if we don't have to watch each other."

"That's fine by me." She breathed, and when she realised she couldn't lift herself up, he did it for her, gently turning her the other way up and leaning her on the bed so she was resting her head on her elbows and her legs hung down off of the edge. It was better, she couldn't see him and couldn't feel anything, even if the position she was in mortified her.

"I'm going to do it now, okay?"

"Yes." She muttered softly.

The potion must have been effective, because she couldn't feel a thing, and the only thing that made her aware of anything happening was Severus' heavy breathing and occasional grunts. This time, his thoughts stayed well within his head, and he finished before casting a quick cleaning charm and she heard the sound of him zipping up his trousers. He lifted her so she was sat on the bed, then disappeared for a moment before retuning with another 2 potions, and handed them to her without a word. She drank them quickly, and one was a similar raspberry flavour, then she felt the sensation in her legs return. The other had the similar overpowering chocolate orange flavour of the contraceptive potion, and she was grateful that at least Severus had the sense to remember, because after the rush she had forgotten.

"I'll be back in a moment." He said, walking out of the room, and she quickly slipped on her underwear and shoes, throwing her hair into a bun as she rubbed her face, a little stressed.

"Here." He came in, and handed her a glass of water, which she gratefully took and sipped slowly, sat on the edge of the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Okay, thanks. The numbing potion helped, it stopped me feeling as anxious."

"Good. I'm going to go now."

"Okay, I'll go in a few minutes."

No more words were needed, and after a few minutes, Hermione walked back to the Lupin's quarters, feeling guilty for leaving them to feel awkward after the outburst. Harry answered the door, looking sheepish.

"Hi, Hermione. Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I had no right to react like that and"

"Harry, you don't need to apologise. Its fine."

"It's not… but thank you. Come in, were having tea."

She entered, sitting back on the couch and helping herself to a cup that had been poured for her in advance.

"Good detention?" Dora asked, smirking and hermione laughed.

"Is it ever?" THE nood in the room improved, and they quickly settled into easy conversation, until remus spoke up.

"Hermione, do you have any chocolate?"

"No, sorry… Why, do you want some, because I can get some?" She replied, puzzled at the change in conversation.

"Don't worry 'Mione, Remus has cupboards of chocolate – why did you ask sweetheart?" Dora frowned, and Remus fiddled with his jumper.

"I can smell it coming off of you. Chocolate oranges." His expression was dreamy and Dora chuckled until he frowned "Sorry, bit creepy."

"Oh…" Hermione replied, stomach twisting in panic. Why hadn't she cast a spell? Ohh how could she be so dumb! The contraceptive potion was well known for that scent, and she was being stupid, so stupid.

"Nevermind Remus." Dora changed the subject, slapping her legs with her hands as awkward silence filled the room. "So 'Mione, what did Snape make you do for half an hour? Scrub cauldrons?"

"He had me making pepper-up potions actually, so it wasn't too bad."

"Don't they take an hour to brew?" Dora poke, and Hermione tried not to curse. She couldn't keep lying, she was terrible at it.

"Yeah, I umm started them off."

"Ahh, okay, fair enough. Bit weird for him to not get you to finish them."

"I know." She nodded. "Not complaining though."

"Did you not end up doing any occlumency then?" Hermione groaned internally, feeling sorry for a time when teenage-Teddy would face this auror level interrogation.

"Err, no actually, we didn't. must have forgotten."

"He's been nicer since this year started, don't you think?" Remus said, trying to stop Dora harassing Hermione. "Gryffindor's doing well we the extra points now he's not taking so many."

"He's still taking Hufflepuff's points! That's not fair!"

"Oh, come on, Dora… Hufflepuff are so nice they hardly ever lose points, especially now you're gone."

"Oh, shut it you arrogant Gryffindor."

"Stoner."

"Proud prick."

Harry's chuckle at their typical argument distracted them, and all of them shared a laugh.

"Hermione, I want to apologise for how I reacted earlier." Harry started, and before Hermione could stop him, he carried on. "I haven't spoken to you much recently, and it's not fair. You've been my best friend for seven years, and I'm sorry I haven't been there for you with everything. If there is anything else, you can tell me and I won't react like that, I promise."

"Thanks, Harry" She gave his hand a grateful pat. "I'm gonna go now, if that's okay by you guys? Thanks for the tea."

An hour later, and Dora was still no more soothed than she had been. She sat on the bed in between Remus' legs, leaning back against his warm chest, and despite the soothing arms wrapped around her waist, she didn't feel calm.

"I'm not going to run away again, I promise."

"You know you don't need to explain yourself to me, I'll always stay by you."

"Which is why I shouldn't have left. I can't always stay by you, I'm too weak."

"Remus…" Her tone was warning,and he sighed.

"I'm stronger now, though. We're going to deal with this together."

"Love is enough. Doesn't matter how crap we are at other stuff, we love eachother."

"And that's why I love you. You're perfect for me."

"And me you."

There was a moment of tense silence, thoughts racing.

"Dora, what is it, your shoulders are as stiff as a rock." He chuckled, giving her a quick rub, and she closed her eyes at the sensation.

"Hermione's hiding something. I don't know what, but I can feel it."

"Do you have any idea what it is?"

She shook he head, "Well, she's been odd for ages…"

"That's probably understandable, though."

"I know, but she jumped at nothing and knocked over her inkwell today's lesson, didn't pay any attention after that, and afterwards Ginny asked if it was 'him' again. And this detention she's been at was occlumency, and brewing a potion that took longer than she was there all in the space of forty minutes. AND after all that she has this outburst at Harry saying she can't get engaged and she's at risk of dying if she does something wrong."

"Hmm…" he paused for a minute, tightening his arms. "Do you think she was with Snape or if it's a cover? Do you think he knows?"

"I don't know… it's all very odd. I think it's really important that we don't make too much of a big deal about it or react too much, but I think we need to have a meeting, with everyone who knows. I think, as well, we need to let the order know. If she is hiding something then she might be in danger, Lucius could still be involved, or threatening her or something."

"She's not going to like it if the order finds out… but I do agree Dora. This is getting too much for us to handle. She isn't someone that would exaggerate things, and…" he trailed off into silence.

"And what, sweetheart?"

"When she says, we have no idea how big and fucked up this is, it makes me scared what she means. Whatever it is that she's hiding is something that is going to shock us, and I don't think any of us are ready for the truth to come out, least of all her…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Hey guys, these updates are a little less frequent at the moment, but that's because I'm two weeks away from GCSE's, and I have eleven subjects to revise for, which isn't fun and takes lots of time. This chapter is a little bit shorter, but it should be exciting, as people finally find out what's really going on!

Thankyou so so so much to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed this story, it means the world to me!

hope you enjoy,

h :)

(also, there's quite a bit of strong language in this one... sorry!)

* * *

"Hermione, can you stay behind, please?" Remus called out at the end of the days DADA lesson, just before lunch. Hermione felt her stomach clench nervously at the thought, but nodded numbly. She regretted last night's outburst immensely, and had spent a great portion of the night worrying about it, much to Severus' displeasure.

In the end, in their sleep deprived state, they had decided it might be time to inform Remus and Tonks, to save further questioning, but Hermione wasn't sure if Severus meant that, or if it was just an effort to get her to sleep.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, and he motioned her into his office, letting her take a seat."

"Yes thanks, tea?"

"Please." He poured her a cup, and she sipped it gratefully, mouth having gone dry after the nerves.

"Basically, Hermione, I just want to let you know that if there is something going on that is more than you told us, you are completely welcome to speak to Dora or I anytime, or Professor McGonagall, I'm sure. We just want to make sure you are safe, and not in any danger. And, we want to make sure you're okay."

"Oh, thank you." She thought for a moment. She knew she should really tell them, but a part of her really didn't want to. To her, having people who didn't know everything meant she could pretend things weren't real. If they didn't know, it felt like it was okay because there was someone for whom it wasn't real, after all.

"You don't have to say anything at all, I get that you might not want to, me of all people." He set down his tea.

"There isn't really much to say, to be honest."

He quirked his eyebrow, and she let out a rough sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry, I appreciate that you're worried, I really do."

"But…" he anticipated, warmly, but with an edge.

"I… I'm not in any danger, so you don't need to. I'm doing fine, I just need time, I think."

"Well, you know we're here, when you feel ready."

"I do, thank you. I should go, thanks for the tea." He shook his head, a warm smile on his features.

 _Decided not to tell Moony, then?_

"What?!" she muttered angrily.

"I didn't say anything Hermione." She turned around, shocked, and almost smacked her forehead in frustration.

"Sorry, I know, it's not you."

He frowned a little, but she wouldn't let him say any more, leaving the office to head to lunch.

"Hey, Gin." She spoke softly, sitting next to her friend at the Gryffindor table. "No Luna and Neville?"

"Over there." She motioned with a grin, to where the new couple were sat together, speaking with their heads close. "How are you feeling, after yesterday? Harry told me…" she asked with a grimace.

"Guilty to Harry mostly…"

"Don't be, he feels just as bad as you." There was silence, before Ginny spoke up again. "Do you want to tell people the truth?"

"I don't know… I think Remus and Dora are suspicious, but I'd need to talk to Severus first. I feel like it would be the best thing to do."

"Me too, it's too big to keep a secret really, especially if Lucius comes back. It's something that can be used against you two, really."

"Shit I didn't think about that…" Hermione murmured, and a wave of slight but all too obvious panic washed through her.

"So, when do you want to tell people? Shall we organise a meeting?"

"Woah there Gin, I need to talk to Severus first."

"Sorry, sorry. Just, glad you want to tell people really, it's a big load of shit to keep to yourself."

 _If you want to tell people, you can. As long as I don't have to be there._

 _It might be better if you were there…_

 _I doubt being strangled by Molly Weasley would be 'better'_

 _I don't know how to tell them though, I wouldn't know what to say_

 _And you think I would?_

 _I don't know…_

There was silence, Severus had clearly had enough of the conversation.

"Hermione? Head in the clouds or someone in your head?"

"Sorry, it's quite hard to ignore."

"I know, sorry."

"No, don't be. I guess a meeting would be the best? Although I don't really know… I have no idea what to do to be honest."

"It'll be okay, everyone's lovely and at least it won't be you that gets demasculinated…" Hermione grimaced and Ginny chuckled. "Joking, don't worry. Mum'll understand."

"I think I want to leave it for a bit though, before we tell people. I want to get used to things properly first. I don't know if I want everyone to know either, it's so personal…"

"Well we can give it time, then. It's up to you completely."

"Thanks Gin."

"No worries, you'd do the same for me."

There was silence, before Ginny spoke up again,

"Oh! I nearly forgot! There a little get together in the Hogs Head tomorrow evening, just a few of us."

"Great! That'll be fab, then. Who's going?"

"Remus, Dora, me, you , Harry, Ron and Sirius, I think…"

"Oh lovely! I haven't seen Ron in ages, how is he?"

"Pretty good. I think hes met someone in auror training, finally ggotten over you."

"Oh…"

"Sorry Hermione. I know it must be hard. Do you still…"

She shook he head, she couldn't love Ron anymore, it wouldn't work out even if she did.

"I don't, I can't. It's good he's met someone though."

Ginny nodded, wrapping an arm supportively around her friend.

Later that evening, Remus and Dora were sat in their quarters, relaxing after dinner and their classes together. Remus had been teaching, and Dora looking after Teddy, who'd seemed better after the full moon, finally.

"Did you say you spoke to Hermione, sweetheart?" Dora asked, sipping a butterbeer in her seat by the fire.

"Yes, I did, didn't really help much though."

"What did you say?"

"That if there was anything she was worried about, she could come to either of us, and that we just want to make sure she's safe."

"That's good. How did she reply?"

"She said that she wasn't in any danger, but was grateful. Then…"

"Then what?"

"Well it was almost like she thought I'd said something, like she'd heard something. She said it wasn't me she'd heard…"

"But there was no one else there?"

"Exactly."

"She said something to Ginny about voices in her head earlier this week. Could it be Lucius?"

"Merlin I hope not. She… it's weird, but…"

"What is it?"

"She's smelled weird, ever since it happened. The hormones, they're different, like there's something new there."

"It's not fear?"

"No, fear smells different. It's sort of like there's someone else with her, like she's had an addition to her body or something…"

"Oh… that's strange. Has she ever smelt of anything else?"

"Erm… oh, that chocolate orange smell, but that was different, like she'd been eating chocolate oranges."

"Snape wouldn't let her do that though, not in detention."

"No, and she said she was making potions."

"Are there any potions that smell like that, Remus?"

"I'm trying to think…"

"Hmm.. Oh! Oh…" the panic on her face was evident.

"What is it?"

"Contraceptive potion. Every girl knows how to make it."

"But why would she be drinking it? Unless she was…"

"No, she wouldn't be sleeping with people, not this close after…"

"Sometimes people do, after abuse like that. To feel in control…"

"OH, merlin." She bit her lip nervously, and Remus clearly his throat hoarsely.

"We need to go to Minerva, I think, Dora. This is too big now, if she's… she's clearly not coping."

"But with who? Ron and she broke up, and it's not like it would be Neville…"

"I don't know… I don't think I want to know."

They let out a collective sigh, before settling down to bed, although they had too much on their minds to sleep.

The next day passed quickly for Hermione, and soon she found herself preparing for the party with Ginny, who seemed incurably excited.

"Oh! And McGonagall said she'd babysit Teddy so Dora and Remus can come, and Sirius is coming, and it's been absolutely ages since you've seen Ron!"

"Ginny, please calm down! It's only drinks, isn't it?"

"Oh I shouldn't say… but it's an early birthday party for you! We figured you needed a nice time, and it's only a week until you're nineteen!"

"Oh Ginny, thank you!" Hermione cried, wrapping her arms around her best friends neck.

"Please at least pretend to be surprised, or I'm going to get murdered."

"Don't worry, I will." She chuckled.

"Anyway, you're wearing the red dress tonight, 'Mione."

The red dress. a buy Ginny had convinced her to get one week in Hogsmeade. It was a bright red dress, with a bardot top and a skater skirt, and Hermione had loved it.

"You think it's time?"

"Defo. Now, let me do your makeup and hair, I've done mine now."

She soon started on Hermione, and the two chatted aimlessly, happily for about half an hour as Ginny performed the appearance charms she seemed to be an expert in.

Once the final touches were made, they were about ready to go, and set off, with Neville and Luna, through the corridor, heading towards Hogsmeade.

 _Hermione, can I have a word?_

 _I'm a bit busy, what is it?_

 _I should tell you in person. It, it's okay, nevermind, you're going to the party, I don't want to ruin it. I'm sure it'll be fine._

 _No, what is it? Is everything okay?_

 _Just, be careful, don't end up on your own tonight._

 _Why?_

 _Lucius is back in the country, he knows we've taken Draco and Narcissa, he knows it was Nymphadora. If you can, you need to get them to reschedule or something, it's not safe._

 _They're at Hogsmeade already, I think. It's meant to be a surprise party._

 _I'm sorry. You need to make sure you and Nymphadora don't end up on your own. Stay inside and you should be fine. Let them know it's not safe._

 _Okay. Thankyou._

 _If you need to, tell them the truth._

 _Okay._

"Hermione? Were there." Ginny said, putting a hand on the woman's arm and looking at her questioningly. She shook her head at the curious look, gesturing to Luna and Neville and mouthing she'd tell her later.

She walked in; the pub was dark. Then, the lights came on, and there was a huge shout of "Surprise!" and Hermione found herself the centre of hugs, kisses and early birthday wishes.

"Thank you so much everyone!" she spoke emotionally, once there was a little silence.

"Nonsense, love, you deserve it after everything." Sirius spoke kindly, and they all smiled, as Hermione took a look at who was there: Her, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Dora, Remus, and Sirius. The rest of the Hogs head was empty; they must have reserved it for her party. The thought of making them cancel it just because of Lucius made her feel so bad that she dismissed it, and instead they all enjoyed the evening, drinking and chatting amongst themselves.

"And that, dear children," Sirius spoke, strangely proudly, "is why the marauders are banned from the knight bus."

"I never knew that was why you never wanted to take it Remus!" Tonks spoke accusingly. "You said it made you feel sick!"

"I…" Remus started, but it was futile, and they all burst out laughing.

"I'm gonna go to the loo for a minute Remus, I'll be back soon." Dora said, and got up, stumbling slightly on her way out, as conversation returned to normal.

Hermione was suddenly reminded of what Severus had told her, and headed to the bathroom, intending to find Dora, just to make sure things were okay. She walked into the room, seeing Dora washing her hands at the sink, a calm look on her face. This soothed Hermione's frazzled nerves, things were okay, Dora was okay. After all, she was an auror, she was more than capable of looking after herself in the toilet.

"Hello Hermione, you okay?"

"I… Yes, fine. Thanks."

Dora looked at her a little strangely, but then they both started, turning to hear the gasps coming from outside the door. They shared a worried look, and the heart palpitations in Hermione's chest tripled, before they walked out of the room.

"What's going on?" it was Tonks who spoke up first, seeing a flustered looking McGonagall standing next to the group. "Where's Teddy?"

"Teddy is fine, Dora, he's with Filius for the moment. Oh thank Merlin you're okay Hermione."

"What's happeneing?"

"It's Severus… he's been taken by Lucius." Hermione's stomach dropped to her feet. He'd warned her, probably got distracted trying to make sure he was okay, and now he'd been taken by Lucius. Why wasn't he in her head? What was happening to him?

"What are we going to do? Where has he taken him?" Harry spoke up, and the rest nodded, looking at McGonagall, who had her eyes on Hermione and didn't reply, the young witch was still staring blankly into space.

Then, suddenly Hermione felt a searing pain in her body, a ripping, burning sensation which made her insides writhe, and she fell to the floor, shaking.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried, as they rushed to where the young witch had fallen down. The pain was unmistakeable, it felt so like the cruciatus curse. "Is it the bond?" she asked worriedly, and Hermione nodded, fear building and adding to her stomach at the prospect of what was happening to Severus at the hands of Lucius Malfoy.

"Bond? What do you mean, Ginny?" Tonks' voice was dark, and Ginny gulped at her slip, watching the girl writhe on the floor in pain. There was a swarm of people, the others were faffing with glasses of water and blankets and spells, but Dora's eyes had snapped to Ginny's, locked into her gaze.

"Oh, merlin sorry… I shouldn't have… oh no."

"What kind of bond could possibly do this to her?" Tonks asked again, and Remus and Sirius looked up from where they were kneeling next to Hermione. She finally stopped writhing, and began to sit up, slowly, coughing.

"Hermione." Minerva said lowly, ignoring what was happening in the room. "has Severus told you anything? Do you know where he is?"

"I don't, he hasn't said anything. He, it was the cruciatus curse though, I remember it. I think he's unconscious." Their faces held grim expressions, and Tonks spoke up again sharply.

"Are you going to explain what's really going on here, Minerva?"

"Dora, not now." Remus spoke gently, handing Hermione a glass of water.

"No Remus, I only know about one kind of bond, and it's not good. Not good at all. I've never seen it as an auror, but we have to learn about it."

"What kind of bond?" Remus spoke again, and the tone in the room grew dark, a grim expression of realisation formed on Dora's lips.

"A soul bond. That's what it is, isn't it, Hermione? That's what's really going on here." she asked, gently, and Hermione nodded once, looking away to stop herself from seeing the expression on everyone's face. This was the worst possible way everyone could have found out, and yet she was so worried about Severus she barely cared.

"Oh merlin…" she sighed, sitting down. "Right, guys. Come on, let's go, then we can sort everything out. Ron, Harry, Sirius, Remus, and Ginny, you guys go ahead together. Apparate to the secret passageway underneath the black lake, the one which starts just outside the apparition wards. I know you and Sirius know where it is, so you can take Harry Ron and Ginny, Remus. Minerva and I will take Hermione to the hospital wing, then we will meet you in Minerva's office. Okay? Everyone set?"

There were dumb nods from them, and they slowly disapparated, as did Minerva, Tonks and Hermione.

"Would it be easier if I explained, Dora?" Minerva asked once they were inside. They had sat in the headmistress's office, waiting see what to do. Hermione was in the hospital wing, with Madame Pomfrey, to see if they could do anything to help her.

"I take it you know the truth?" Dora asked, a slight cutting edge to her voice, although the way her eyes watered told she was close to tears.

The headmistress nodded, and started to explain. "Okay, so the day term began, Hermione, as we know, was captured by Lucius Malfoy and the remaining death eaters. Professor Snape was also captured. Lucius found it necessary to punish him for taking the allied side during the war, and so he placed a soul bond upon Hermione and Severus."

"What's a soul bond?" Harry spoke up softly, eyes hard and expression worried.

"It's an incredibly old piece of dark magic." Dora started, sad eyes glancing at her husband, stood opposite Sirius, who had a miserable look on his face. "Bonding the souls of two individuals together for eternity, or until death. They hear each other's thoughts, feel each other's emotions and pain. The only way it can be removed is when they die, but that also causes the death of the other person."

"Oh merlin…" Sirius' expression was stony as he spoke. "My mother used to talk about that, it happened lots in older times, like arranged marriages. They have to…"

"Yes, Sirius." Minerva started again, uncertainly. "Unfortunately, there is a sexual element to the bond. Initially, and every week following that, at least. Severus was placed under the imperius curse to begin with, and if you do not repeat this ritual then you… you'll both die."

"Fucking hell. So, they've been… Every week? Under our noses?" Sirius' tone was incredulous, and his anger rippled, Ron grunting in disgust, Harry grimacing uncomfortably. Even Remus had a notably distasteful look on his face.

"They had no choice." Ginny started, voice surprisingly unwavering. "Would you rather they died?"

"As long as he isn't using her…" Ron trailed off angrily.

"You think this is easy for him?" Remus started, frustrated. "He may be an arse at times, but I know how much that man would despise doing this to a student. He may be flawed, but he's not a rapist, he'd never do that unless he had no choice." At the stunned silence, he started again, voice a little more gently. "Now, let's see if we can get a plan for what to do about Severus. Getting upset and angry isn't going to do anything, and as much as I'm sure some of you wouldn't mind too much if Severus died, how would you like it if Hermione did too?"

"Okay," said Dora, taking his hand, supportively. "Let's get to work."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Hello! I'm about halfway through exam season and it's half term, so you get an update! I've written and rewritten this chapter a few times, but it hasn't really seemed that good, so I'm just going to give it to you and hope for the best. After about three weeks I'll be done with GCSE's, and have a 12 week summer to write, so look forward to that :)

I've also got another fic idea, a sort of doctor who/harry potter crossover that I've been working on, where the doctor and rose's daughter goes to hogwarts with Teddy Lupin, so let me know if you'd be interested in that.

Also, thankyou to everyone who has favorited, followed and especially reviewed! I have had so many notifications and it makes me smile every time ^.^

Enjoy!

* * *

"So, what we know is that Hermione and Severus are connected, this bond, and Severus has been captured."

Dora Lupin stood at the front of the transfiguration classroom, hands on her hips and furiously determined expression on her face. The other people in the room were sat behind desks, and the whole situation seemed funnily like a lesson.

"Do we know if he's unconscious?" Harry asked, worried.

"No, he isn't." Minerva said, pursing her lips. "If he was, Hermione would be too. He is silent though, for now, and Poppy will let us know if that changes. She's with Hermione in the hospital wing."

"Okay. Do you know why he was taken, Minerva? Did he leave anything behind?" Dora spoke.

"He came to speak to me, he was worried about you and Hermione because Lucius had found out the truth about Narcissa and Draco. He said he was going to let you guys get on with your evening, then changed his mind and started heading to the Hogs Head. Then, I got a patronus saying Lucius had gotten him, but he didn't mention where."

"Okay, so he'll be trying to get Severus to tell him where Narcissa and Draco are, then. So, what we need to do is put extra protection on their safehouse, and wait for him to talk to Hermione, then we can make a plan." It was obvious Tonks was an auror first, professor second, with her reasoning and coolness under pressure.

"Harry and I can go." Ron suggested.

"Okay, so you two can go and help Narcissa and Draco, make sure you reinforce the wards." They found out the location, and then Ron and Harry disappeared.

"The rest of you can probably head off for the moment, I'm going to go and talk to Hermione, then we can put a plan in place. If you want, you guys can wait at our place."

"I think I'm going to go." Ginny said, "I'll catch up with Harry and Ron later."

"Sirius, we can take Teddy back." Remus spoke, voice a little nervous. "Minerva, Dora, we'll see you later." The others nodded, and Tonks made her way to the hospital wing, to talk to Hermione.

She entered the hospital wing, seeing Hermione sat on a bed, talking to Madam Pomfrey.

"Hey, Hermione. How are you feeling?" She nodded kindly at Poppy, who disappeared, leaving the two alone.

"A little better, but I keep getting these waves of pain."

"Pain from Severus?"

She nodded. "I think so. I can't hear him yet."

"But he's still conscious? Still alive."

"Well, I am both of those things, so I guess."

"Right, sorry." Tonks rubbed her face. "Look, if you need to talk, I'm always here. I'm sorry people have had to find out about this, you've had a horrible night, and I've just been interrogating you. I wasn't being fair."

"No, no, it's no problem. We really must get him back. Lucius is out for blood unless he gets his family."

"We'll make sure Severus is okay." Hermione's jaw dropped suddenly, and Tonks was confused. "What, are you okay?"

"He… I can hear him." She paused, hand up to stop tonks from talking. "Lucius wants Narcissa and Draco. He, he says that if he doesn't get them by Sunday at 6 then he…" Hermione paled.

"What is it?"

"He'll kill Severus."

* * *

Space.

That was what Hermione needed, away from the fussing of everyone and the panicking over plans.

She just needed somewhere quite to think, to talk properly to Severus.

 _Hello, are you there?_ She called out, mentally, as she reached a place she had sat in before - the astronomy tower.

 _Yes, Hermione. Are you okay?_

 _I think I should be asking you that. How are you?_

 _Alive, Lucius isn't happy, I haven't ever seen him like this before. I don't know where I am, I think we're at a deatheater house somewhere, but I don't know, the room I'm in is dark and I don't have my wand._

 _Okay. Is there any way we can trick him? How can we stop him hurting you and getting his family?_

 _I, I don't know… he's back, wait a moment._

And so, with baited breath, Hermione waited. She felt twinges of pain, but heard nothing, so Severus was keeping her out whilst he talked to Lucius, presumably to stop her from hearing him suffer.

 _Okay, I'm okay._ He was back, and she almost gasped in relief.

 _Did he say anything important?_

 _He attempted, and I mean attempted, to use legilimency upon me. He wanted to find out where they were from memories. I… deflected him._

 _Into seeing what? I presume you used your occlumency, altered memories._

 _Yes. I just showed him memories, of when he worked for Voldemort. He didn't realise though, that I am an occlumens, I just made it seem like I was distracted._

 _That's good. Right, so I have an idea._

 _Go on._

 _So, if you alter memories and make it seem like we are keeping them in one place, then he can come and try to get them, but we'll be waiting ready._

 _Okay, so how are we going to get me afterwards?_

 _Try to get him to take you with him, if you can. I , erm… We need to be fast, for several reasons…_

 _Yes, I am aware of the impending consequences. Don't worry._

 _How are you going to make him take you?_

 _I don't know…_

 _Give me a moment, I'll have a think._

 _Clearly, that is something you never cease to do._

 _Thanks, really nice._

 _Sorry, please think - if you can - if there is something._

 _Better, you actually sound like a pleasant human being now._

 _Ha, if only._

With a chuckle, Hermione focused, wracking her brain to see if there was some way of thinking how Lucius could bring Severus with him.

The consequences, if he didn't, would be awful. With it being Sunday (in the very early morning), and the bond renewal being the next day, they had to get him back as soon as possible. However, Hermione reasoned, because Lucius knew this, he would be unlikely to tell them Severus' location after being captured, so if they were both going to survive, it had to work.

Severus had sent memories, of his time being a death eater, but where had those locations been. Lucius' mansion? Another member's house? Severus' house? No, Hermione reasoned, Snape would surely have protection on his house that only allowed certain people in. Powerful wards that would prevent people from finding out about his work on both sides.

That was it! Snape's house would have wards, so if he was keeping Narcissa and Draco there, then the only way Lucius could get them would be to bring Severus with him.

 _That may work, well done._

 _Thanks, do you think you can do it?_

 _Yes, when I see him next. Are you with Remus and Nymphadora?_

 _No, I'm in the astronomy tower._

 _Your usual depressing spot? Nice optimistic choice._

 _Shut up… it's a good place to think._

 _You should go and tell them the plan. Stay near them, when I next see Lucius you will need to get to my house quickly, I will let you know._

 _Okay. Do they know where your house is?_

 _Sirius and Remus do, Minerva does as well._

 _Okay. You should get some rest._

 _I'll go now, goodnight._

 _Night._

Hermione took a moment, thinking as she found herself looking out of the window onto the grounds. The last time she had been stood in that space, things had been so much different. In little time, so much had changed between her and Severus, for the better.

And yet, it still felt like too much had changed, all too fast. People had just found out, and Hermione knew if they were successful in capturing Lucius then there would be a trial, where more people would surely discover the truth. Did Hermione feel ready for that? No, but she had little choice in the matter.

Thinking that all of this reflection was probably keeping Severus awake, and wasn't really helping herself, Hermione walked down the dark stairs and corridors, heading to Remus and tonks' rooms, to see the rest of the people. She knocked on the door, and it was opened almost immediately by Remus, who had a nervous look on his face.

"Hermione, you're here." His frown eased slightly, and he beckoned her in. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I need to speak to you all, I've been talking to Severus."

He nodded, and led her through, where everyone was sat, except for harry and Ron, who were still reinforcing the wards at Narcissa and Draco's safehouse.

"Guys, I have a plan." She said, looking around at the people attentively waiting.

"Okay, fire away." Tonks said, and Hermione sat down before starting.

"So, Lucius has tried to use legilimency on Severus to find out where Narcissa and Draco are, and Snape deflected him, but it made us think, if we could alter memories of Severus putting Narcissa and Draco somewhere they weren't, we could wait there and catch him."

"That's good, but how are we going to get Severus?" Sirius asked, and Tonks nodded.

"Well, we were thinking because his house has wards on it that only let him in, then Lucius would have to bring Severus with him. We need to make sure that happens, we don't have time to find Severus after Lucius is captured, plus he would be unlikely to tell us. So, we need to wait at his house, then they will arrive and we could get them and arrest Lucius.

"Yeah I like it, really, well done Hermione!" Tonks exclaimed happily. "So, I take it Severus will let you know when it's time?"

"Thank you, yes he will. He's left him for now, but when he next tries to interrogate him I'll let you know so you guys can go and get him."

"Okay. Remus and I know where Severus lives, so Remus can apparate Dora, and I'll take Kinsley, we should get him from the ministry." Sirius said, leaving to collect the minister.

"So, everyone's sorted?" Tonks asked, and the people around the room nodded. "Well, now we wait."

Hermione had been asleep when she had felt it, the familiar twinges of pain that told her Severus was being interrogated, before she heard him, in her head, again.

 _Hermione, its time. I've prepared the memory, you won't have much time._

 _Okay, everyone is ready, we'll go._

 _Right, I'll see you soon._

"Okay, guys, its time." She spoke, waking them up. They sprang into action, and Sirius, Dora and Kingsley apparated, whilst Remus took her arm gently.

"Ready?" he asked, softly. Hermione nodded, before the familiar pull of apparition dragged her into the void, and out.

The weather was cloudy in the street where they landed, and the overcast clouds seemed to surround them as they looked at the large house. Surprisingly, for such a downtrodden man, the house was normal, with a small garden and a red door.

"Will the wards let us in?" Tonks asked, but Remus shook his head.

"We'll have to wait, hide. When they arrive ill have set up a portable cell." Kingsley said. "It can contain him, temporarily, until Dora and I will get him back to the ministry. Remus, Sirius and Hermione, you need to take Severus back to Madame Pomfrey. Hermione, do you know how he is?"

"Not really, but he's been tortured, I just don't know how badly yet."

"Okay, so one of you two will need to take him back, Remus or Sirius."

"Alright, that's okay." They got into their hiding places, and prepared.

Soon enough, they heard a small crack, and the sight of the two appeared. Severus was being held up by Lucius, barely conscious, and Hermione let out a small gasp at the sight of him, face bruised and pale, looking barely alive.

"Hermione, don't, it's okay." She heard to her left, and Tonks put a reassuring hand upon her knee. However, just as the shield was about to snap up, Tonks stumbled on a twig, causing Lucius to whip around, firing a sectumsempra curse.

The shield was in place, and Severus collapsed to the floor next to it, as Tonks did the same next to Hermione, too distracted to have noticed the curse aimed her way. She was bleeding heavily, and things moved quickly, but Hermione was in a daze, as Sirius and Kinglsey ran towards Severus, and Remus ran towards Tonks, all crying out. Kinglsey grabbed Lucius, placing some magical handcuff on him and taking his wand as Lucius spat violent insults at him, none of which Hermione seemed to be capable of hearing.

Kinglsey apparated with him, and Remus took Tonks away swiftly in his arms, knowing Madame Pomfrey's help was needed fast for the woman to survive. This left Sirius and Severus, and Hermione rushed over towards them, heart pounding.

"Is he okay?" she asked worriedly, and Sirius looked up at her from the ground.

"I've performed some healing spells, madam Pomfrey will be busy with Dora. He'll be okay, let's get back to the castle, yeah?" Hermione nodded tearfully.

"Okay, come on love." He said, and grabbed her arm gently, as he apparated the three of them away.

Once they had returned, Hermione found herself being sat down in a daze, on an uncomfortable hospital chiar. Tonks and Severus were ebing tended to, and Hermione was dimly aware that Sirius was sat opposite her, trying to talk, but she wasn't listening.

Instead, she was braced, lloking at the ground, trying to stem the tears that threatened tto flow from her eyes. She was busy thinking about how useless she was, really. During the war, she thought things had been good, that she had been good, but as soon as she was put into a stressful situation she had just zoned out.

"Hermione? Hermione, please try to listen to me." Sirius said, and gently touched her knee. She looked up at him, and he opened his arms, as she leaned in to hug him tearfully. He rubbed her back, and she found the tears she had been trying so hard to repress coming back in waves, streaming from her eyes.

"Its okay, yeah? They're both going to be okay, I promise you."

"Yeah. It is, isn't it." She said quietly, as he rubbed her shoulder.

"Go and find a bed, have a little sleep, it's been a long night for all of us." He said, and Hermione nodded, getting up and heading to a bed. She lay down, tucked herself in, and drifted quickly off to sleep.

 _Hermione, try not to worry._

His voice woke her up, and she glanced quickly around, seeing she was still in her hospital cubicle, dressed in some pyjamas Madame Pomfrey had clearly put her in. It was dark, late at night, but she had been dreaming about him, that must have been what he heard.

 _Sorry, I couldn't help it, are you okay?_

 _It's not your fault, don't worry. I'm a lot better, just need rest._

 _Are you sure?_

 _Positively certain. I have been in much worse states._

 _But, what I felt…_

 _Hermione, Sirius has done a good job, surprisingly. I promise you, I'm not going to hurt you because I'm ill._

 _That's why you think I'm worried? For myself?_

Hermione got up, padded across to the cubicle Severus was in, and opened the curtain gingerly. He was still, seeming asleep, but met her eyes. She saw pain, but he wasn't too bad, after all.

"Why else would you be worried?" he spoke, quietly, almost hopefully.

"Because, I do care about you. It was my fault, that he got you. I should have-"

"Don't, hindsight will do you no favours. I'm going to be fine, and so will Nymphadora."

"You won't be if you keep calling her that."

"True." He chuckled, and Hermione found herself sitting on the edge of the bed. He shifted, slightly, so she had more room, and she turned, lying gently next to him, his hand in hers.

 _What are you doing?_

 _Sorry, it's the only way I won't worry._

 _Oh Hermione… It isn't necessary._

 _Shut up and let me sleep._

She was on top of the covers, and him underneath, but she could feel his warmth through the blankets, and, for once, it did not scare her. He lay on his back, and she lay facing him, falling into a sleep that this time held no nightmares.

Something had definitely changed between them, and Hermione felt it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Hello! Another update so soon, what is this? This chapter is where things start getting interesting... Let's just say if you don't want smut, look away now.**

 **Thanks for everyone who's reviewed, read, favourited and followed, I really appreciate it!**

 **Also, I've just uploaded a new story, called the Time Witch, which is about Rose and The Doctor's daughter going to Hogwarts with Teddy Lupin and some other people, please give that a read if you want to!**

 **Thanks, hope you enjoy,**

 **H xx**

 _Hermione._

The voice woke Hermione up, from her spot next to Severus on the bed. She stirred, opening her eyes to the early dim light that told her it was almost dawn.

 _Didn't you sleep?_ She asked; he looked exhausted.

 _A little._

 _Do you need more pain potion?_

 _I think so._

 _I should go, anyway, ill go get you some._

She got up, slipping on her slippers and readjusting her dressing gown over her pyjamas before she stretched. She felt a little lightheaded, and nauseous, and had a strange pain throughout her body that told her that was probably a reflection of how Severus felt.

Slowly, she opened the curtain outside of his cubicle, looking round to see that no one was there before she slipped out into the wing. She padded quietly over to the storeroom, and managed to dig out a pain killing potion before taking it back to Severus.

On her way, she heard quiet voices from inside Tonks' cubicle, and felt inclined to eavesdrop, but decided against it, wanting to give the couple their privacy. The voices were too quiet to make out, and she tried to forget as she walked back into Severus' cubicle.

"Thankyou." Severus whispered quietly, as she handed him the potion, but seeing he was too weak to hold the glass vial to his mouth, she took it from him, ignoring the flash of electricity that seemed to shoot down her arm when her hand brushed his. She held the vial up to his thin lips, tipping it slightly so that the mixture carefully poured into his mouth. He swallowed, drinking it in a pained manner, until it was finished and she took it away.

There was a small amount of potion at the corner of his mouth, and she wiped it away with her thumb, brushing against the soft skin of his cheek. His eyes looked into hers, and she removed her hand quickly, surprised at herself, but he grasped her hand with his own.

"Thankyou." He said, lowly, and she shook her head.

"I… I should go," She spoke regretfully. "Dora and Remus are awake, and Madame Pomfrey will be back soon."

He nodded, and she smiled slightly, exiting the cubicle without thinking. Outside, she nearly crashed into Remus who was carrying Teddy, and cried out before he steadied her, holding her arm.

"Are you okay Hermione?" he asked softly, confusion on his features. Hermione swore internally, she should have checked before walking out.

"Sorry, Remus, I'm fine. How's Dora?"

"Weak from blood loss, but she'll be okay. It's a nasty curse, that she got hit with."

Hermione grimaced, and he spoke again, trying to reassure her, "But she's been worse, and she's conscious. I'm just taking Teddy to change him." He paused, as if deciding whether to speak again or not. "What are you doing up? Is Severus okay?"

"Uh, yeah… He's okay. I just went to get him some more painkilling potion."

Remus nodded. Thinking. "Do you want to go and get some tea? I'm dying for a cup and I should probably put Teddy in his own bed."

Hermione nodded. She doubted she would get to sleep again that night, and Remus sounded like he wanted company. It was odd to see a woman as strong as Dora lying in a pool of her own blood; it had shocked Hermione, she couldn't imagine how much it must have shocked Remus...

They went back to Remus' kitchen, he put Teddy to bed and changed him, and Hermione made a pot of tea, adding sugar to both mugs.

"Would you prefer milk? Or not?" she asked as he came in, and he nodded.

"Yes, please. It's just in the cooling cupboard. He got it out, pouring some into both of their mugs before they went and sat in the usual spot near the fireplace.

"Teddy's crashed out, so we might stay here tonight. I want to sleep a little before lessons, anyway."

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked, and he nodded.

"I'm fine, no worries there. How are you?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm in a bit of pain still, but…" she trailed off, gripping the mug uncomfortably.

"Can I get you anything? I have some potions?" he motioned to get up, but she shook her head, cheeks a little pink.

"Oh. No, thanks. The potions don't help." He frowned, confused, and she clarified. "It's erm, because of the bond. If he's in pain, so am I. I can't really do anything apart from give him painkillers which I already did."

"Ohh, okay." Remus nodded, still looking like he wanted to say something. Hermione's stomach wrinkled nervously, hands gripping the mug so hard she thought it might shatter. "Did you have problems sleeping, last night?" he asked, and her face blushed nervously. "Just, you weren't in your cubicle when Poppy came round with a potion for you."

"I was…" A lie wouldn't come to her head, her mind was a blank canvas.

"You were?"

She sighed. "I slept next to Severus, I couldn't sleep otherwise, I was worried."

He nodded, opening his mouth in realisation. A slightly awkward silence filled the room, displaced only by the faint crackles of the fire.

"Well, it's fine for you to tell us that, you know. It's nothing to be ashamed of." He finally said, and Hermione smiled at him gratefully. "You're an adult, it would be weird if we didn't treat you like one."

"I want to thank you, and Dora, for being so supportive. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, about Severus and I…" Saying Severus and I felt weird, still, to Hermione. They were closer than she had realised…

"It's no problem, honestly. How, how are things? Between you two?"

"Better." He nodded, smiling. "It's getting a bit easier, and it'll be better once I'm done with school, I think."

"I get that." His face was open, kind. "If it had happened to me, I don't know how I would have coped. I understand, a lot, how it feels to be trapped in a situation you don't want to be." Hermione got that, he had no choice but to let the moon drag him through a cycle of pain, just as she as Severus had no choice in how they got to live.

Hermione knew what day it was, which meant that although a day playing wizard chess with Tonks should have been fun, she found herself distracted by other matters.

The ritual needed to happen at nine pm, the same time as last week, and there was no way around it.

But there was one problem with this: how would they do it when Snape was still bedridden and Tonks was in the cubicle next to them?

Hermione didn't know. Worried, she wracked her mind, trying to think how it might work as Tonks thrashed her at chess multiple times. Severus was not replying in her head, so he was either in a potion induced sleep or he didn't want to talk to her about it, and Hermione was growing more and more anxious.

"Checkmate, yes! That's eleven games to me, seven to you." Tonks cried, as Hermione's king was smashed yet again. The light outside was fading, and it was growing closer to the time when Hermione would have to do the bonding. She felt apprehensive, a little nervous, but strangely not scared.

"Well done!" she said, a little half-heartedly, and Tonks frowned.

"You alright Hermione?"

"Fine, just want to get out of here really…" she said.

"Me too. Right, I'll ask Poppy when we can go." She called the healer over, and there was a heated discussion of health where Tonks got more and more adamant that she was fine, whilst Poppy seemed to grow certain she was not. Finally, Tonks prevailed, saying what was best for her was a night with her baby and husband, in her own bed, and was allowed to leave.

Hermione, however, had to stay until tomorrow morning, because of Severus' uncertain health.

He had remained silent throughout the day, both physically and in her mind. The curtains around his bed was closed, and he seemed not to even stir despite the cheers of Tonks next to him as she won a chess game. Poppy wasn't sure if it would affect Hermione through the bond, so she had to stay, just in case.

"Well, I'll see you later, sweetheart. I hope you're allowed out soon." Tonks spoke, as she left, and Hermione found herself alone with her thoughts once again.

She tried to occupy herself, seeing that the time was six thirty, and finished all of her homework - which included DADA, charms, transfiguration, muggle studies and herbology, managed to paint her nails, read a novel and still when she checked the time it was only eight forty-five.

 _Hermione, please calm down._ She heard, and stopped her frustrated mental ramble.

 _We're going to have to delay it until Poppy leaves at ten, come and see me only then._

 _Okay, are you going to be okay?_

 _I'll have to be, won't I?_

 _Sorry, I just…_

 _Look, just try to find something to do._

 _Okay._

It was on tenterhooks that Hermione did this waiting, finding mundane tasks and completing them quickly until she realised only five minutes had passed and she needed a new one. She was pretty sure she had learnt the entirety of her herbology course, and managed to learn a timeline of all of the famous wizards and witches in history, amongst other things.

Finally, Madame Pomfrey left the wing, and Hermione knew it was time.

She was wearing a nightie, strappy, white and knee length, and some slippers, and she crept silently across the room the curtained off area where Severus was. He lay still, slightly propped up by some pillows.

"Hello, Hermione." He said, and she smiled nervously.

"How… How should we do this?" she asked, quietly, looking at her feet.

"I don't know, but I'm sorry we can't use the numbing potion, I'm not strong enough, yet."

"I know, don't worry."

She took initiative, knowing if this was going to work she would have to make the first move, and for it to work, they would both have to enjoy it somewhat. She didn't feel ready, but she was more so than she had ever been, and she felt bizarrely like she was looking forward to it.

Hermione slipped off her slippers, climbing onto the bed with bare feet. She straddled Severus, a leg either side of him, and careful not to crush him she leaned down, kissing him softly.

The electricity tingled down her lips and through her spin to her feet as their lips met softly, and she pulled away before leaning down again, capturing his lips in a stronger kiss. His eyes held lust, intent, and a shiver went down her legs again as his hands rose from underneath the duvet to hold round her back. He seemed to kiss her back, and their eyes were closed as she touched his face and he moved his hands up and down her back and arms tenderly.

A thumb brushed the side of Hermione's breast through the thin cotton of her nightie, and she moaned into his mouth, causing him to kiss her deeper, harder. She felt a hardness underneath the sheet, and instinctively rubbed against it, feeling him grunt from the back of his throat as she slowly moved her hips to feel his member at her centre.

He pulled away, and she looked down at him, disappointed, but he merely shifted the sheet so it was over the top of her and she could lie on top of him properly. He wore button up pyjamas, and the bulge in the pants caused Hermione to bite her lip apprehensively. He took this as another opportunity to kiss her, pulling her to his mouth as he gripped her back with strong hands.

Slowly, not shifting her lips form his, she unbuttoned his shirt, placing it gently aside as she enjoyed the feeling of her skin against his bare chest, sparse hairs tickling her arms. Her nipples were hard through the thin cotton of the nightie, and he gently pulled the straps down, revealing her pale chest, beautifully petite. He caressed her gently, and she moaned into his shoulder, crying out as he left a mark on her neck, before kissing it more tenderly. The room was dark, so when he took her nightie off from over her head it was difficult to see much below her waistline, but he could feel her heat through the flannel pyjamas he wore.

They carried on for a moment, kissing and exploring each other before Hermione moved her way downwards, kissing down his stomach until she reached the strained trousers. She placed a soft kiss on his cock through the fabric, and he gasped out, putting his hands in her curly brown hair, marvelling at the sensations. She pulled the trousers off, and gripped his member with a timid hand, unsure of herself. He guided her as she crouched above his knees, helping her stroke him until he was too close, and he slowly pulled her hand away, bringing her in for another kiss.

She groaned as he slipped a finger into her warm wetness, stroking her until she was in delightful amounts of pleasure, curling his finger into the sweet spot as the eyes rolled back in her head and she struggled to prop herself up on his chest.

Then, she found herself grinding against his cock, skin on skin, as she felt his hot heat press upon her wet core. He thrust up into her, slowly, gaining nods to make sure she was okay at every centimetre, until she felt gloriously full, held in his arms as she straddled him whilst he sat.

Without moving yet, he placed kisses down her neck, caressing her chest until he took a pink nipple into his mouth and she gasped out, pleasure surging and her walls clamping around him. He groaned gutturally, starting to rock slowly, causing his cock to thrust in and out of her, eliciting soft little moans and gasps.

Their lips met in a delightful kiss, and she moaned against his mouth as he continued the thrust, starting to help him by lifting her hips up and down, making him go deeper and deeper inside of her. Every time he brushed her chest with his long fingers her walls tightened around him, causing him to shudder softly.

She shifted them, still full of him, so that her legs wrapped around his waist whilst they were still sat down. This made him ever deeper inside her, and his pelvis ground against her clit wonderfully as she rocked up and down, sat in his lap.

With his hands to guide her, they rocked together until their thrusts became more ragged and theirs kisses rushed. Hermione breathed hard against his mouth, the sensations becoming more and more intense as she felt him deep inside her and her clit was sending tiny shocks at every movement. Severus groaned at every thrust, caressing her chest and feeling her walls tighten and spasm. He pushed her down so he was on top, her legs wrapped around his hips as he lay on her, nipples hard against his hairy chest. He thrust again and again, and their pleasure grew and grew until she gasped out, moaning as her walls tightened and he came inside her with a bust of wet heat. She clung to him, as they lay, bodies so close they could have been one, coming down from the incredible height, him still inside her as her walls relaxed and she let him out, kissing him softly.

 _Are you okay?_ He asked, mentally, voice soft and exhausted.

She cast a quick cleaning charm upon both of them. _I feel amazing._

 _You were incredible, I was an invalid._

 _Oh please…_ She kissed him again, feeling him shudder. _I've never felt so incredible._

 _Me neither…_ He was barely a whisper in her mind, as he drifted off to sleep, and she quickly dressed herself, made the bed look more presentable and tucked him in, padding quickly across the hospital wing. She got into her own bed, this time the restlessness was gone; she felt came and happy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Unforeseen Duty Chapter 12**

A/N Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since the last update! I'm finished with exams, and have a ten week holiday, so updates will be a lot more frequent now. I'd like to thank everyone for the amount of attention and reviews this has gotten despite my absence, it's been a main reason why I've been able to keep writing.

Here's a little shoutout to everyone who's reviewed so far, I have 35 reviews which is amazing! Thankyou!

 **Hammylammy, soul split, Chelsea always, RhodaBush, i lovedifferentmixesup, 0nymus, playwright82, jmullinax, ndavis77, Jane, GwenStefani, Xoxo, Lux-lights, Minnie, Laura, Nina, Buggzter and several unnnamed guests**. Thanks everyone it means a lot!

Hope you enjoy,

h xx

* * *

Time seemed to pass faster for Hermione, after that night. Nothing really seemed to change between her and Severus, and for the next couple of weeks they were stuck in a funny sort of limbo. Neither of them felt comfortable enough to continue with the intimacy they had shared after he had gotten hurt, and they had reverted to the old potion, not daring to speak about things that both of them knew needed to be said.

The only real thing that had changed was the amount of time they spent together, in the dungeons, practising Hermione's occlumency. She was making good progress; the two of them seemed to work well together.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked softly, as Hermione stepped into the dungeon for the next lesson. She nodded, quiet. "We'll give real occlumency a shot today, I think."

"Aren't we doing more meditations and exercises?" Hermione asked, confused. To become an occlumens, you need to train for a long time before you gain the ability to focus enough for it to work, and, quite frankly, Hermione didn't think that she was ready.

"I think you're ready to try, if you're okay with that."

"Alright." Nerves fluttering in her stomach, she took a seat in the dimly lit dungeon, bottles littering shelves on the wall. She gathered her thoughts, entering the meditative state needed for occlumency that they had spent the last three weeks practising. She cleared her mind, breathing deeply out of her nose as she prepared.

"Okay, I'm going to try to use legilimency on you now. Try what we practised, build up a wall between myself and your thoughts." At this, Hermione felt a gentle probing at the front of her mind; it was a presence: without a doubt his. Her eyes gazed into his, and she tried to assemble a wall, ignoring the sensation of him trying to pull at her memories.

For the moment, the wall seemed to hold him, but all of a sudden the tugging got more insistent, gaining strength. She breathed faster, wall not co-operating and all too quickly she found memories flooding out, wall shattering hopelessly.

She was back in the room, Lucius smirking evilly at her as she looked at Severus, under the Imperius curse, eyes cold and blank. He walked robotically towards her, the cold air and fear making her naked skin prickle and shiver. Her hands were bound to the table, and there was little she could do to stop him as the scene that haunted her nightmares replayed itself once again in her mind.

Severus recoiled immediately, pulling out of her mind and leaving Hermione gasping, and trying to regain control of herself. He muttered a few words and swept quickly out of the room, leaving Hermione on her own.

She pulled her knees up to her chest on the wooden chair, getting her breathing back to normal as she tried to pull herself together. She reassured herself, it wasn't Severus' fault, he wouldn't hurt her again. Even the prospect of Lucius' revenge couldn't touch her: he was captured now.

Besides, she hadn't been afraid of intimacy before, and she wasn't now. She cared about Severus, and he did about her, despite their seeming reluctance to move on. He would never make her feel that way again, never hurt her in such an awful way, because it hadn't been him in the first place.

A little more relaxed, she tried to think how she could combat this fear. It seemed to stick with her, no matter how kind Severus was towards her. It was something she would always remember, but she needed to stop it causing her such distress. She needed to stop it from affecting her so badly, and then she and Severus could perhaps move on.

That was when it hit her: boggarts. If she could get a boggart and try to fight it, she might stand a better chance of being able to do that internally next time they practised the occlumency. Remus and Dora might know where a boggart was, so she decided to ask.

She headed to their rooms, a dim warm light filling the halls on the cool Tuesday evening. The air smelled sweet, and it was just warm enough for her to be wearing her grey cardigan without a cloak, head girl badge glinting in the light.

"Hermione, you okay?" Tonks asked, opening the door to let Hermione in.

"Fine, thanks. How are you?"

She shrugged. "I'm okay. It's a full moon on Thursday, we're just a bit stressed."

"Sorry… I had no idea."

"Don't be." She shook her head softly, hair flashing mousy brown. She paused for a moment, morphing it back to a soft lilac. "How can I help you anyways, Hermione?"

"Do you have a boggart?" Tonks frowned, and she clarified. "I need to sort out some fears."

Ten minutes later, and the two women stood side by side, staring at the cupboard in the corner of the defence against the dark arts office.

"Are you okay with me being here for this? I can wait outside if you want?" Tonks asked softly.

"No, please stay. I might need you to step in, I'm not sure if I'll manage the first time." Tonks nodded, and when Hermione said she was ready, she motioned to the wooden door of the cabinet.

The brass lock flicked loudly, noisy in the silence of the room, and the door creaked open. Hermione anticipated a replay of what she had seen a moment ago, apprehensively she waited for the cold snakelike eyes of the imperius curse, the knowledge that something had happened which she would never be able to undo.

She thought to how she really wasn't that scared of Severus, just the same thing happening again. Logic told her that it couldn't, it wouldn't. Why should she be scared when the worst had already happened?

The body stepped out, pale and sallow face of Severus emerging slowly, just as she - and probably Tonks - expected would happen.

That was when Hermione noticed the blood.

It seeped out of him like water from a waterfall, gushing as he collapsed upon the floor, face paler than normal and mouth open slightly.

Hermione couldn't draw her eyes away, life seemed to zoom out and she was caught in a moment of panic, unable to respond. She didn't feel worry at what might happen to her because of the bond, but untameable dread at the fact that she had no idea what to do and couldn't help him.

To her, this was completely and utterly real.

she was dimly aware of Dora pushing her into a chair, taking over. The image morphed quickly, from Snape to Remus, who seemed uninjured.

Hermione watched on, numb.

"Riddikulus." Tonks said, a little hesitantly. The boggart remained.

"Teddy's dead. It was me." It said, cruelly. The Lupin boggart spoke, voice full of remorse. "I have to go. I'm going to turn myself in to Azkaban, I'll get the dementor's kiss. I won't see you again. It's what I deserve."

"Riddikulus." She said again, more confidently. The creature stopped, but it was apparent that there wasn't really anything funny coming to Tonks. Hermione steeled her nerves, stepping in. Imaging Remus wearing Dora's weird sisters t-shirts and funky clothes was fairly weak, but with a strong incantation of the spell, the boggart was back in the cupboard.

Hermione took a deep breath, rubbing her hands on her jeans. Dora got up and fastened the cupboard shut, sighing lightly.

"Well, that's a surprise. Mine's changed, and I suppose yours has too, given that last time you checked it was McGonagall saying you'd failed." Hermione didn't understand. Why was tonks so cheerful? How? Tonks seemed to realise this confusion, clarifying with a warm smile. "Hermione, that wasn't real. You know that, don't you? All it means is that you and I need to come up with a way of making that funny so that next time we can deal with it."

She nodded, pulling herself together. "I know. It's just… I didn't expect that to be my worst fear. Sorry to put you through that. I thought it might help to relive that night, after earlier…" Tonks frowned, but Hermione shook her head softly.

"Hermione, you don't need to apologise. I'm fine, it was just a shock, and you'll feel better soon, try to calm down." She drew the younger witch into a warm hug, trying to mask the shaking of her arms after the changed dream. Tonks was less okay than she let on, but she knew she couldn't dwell on that worry, it would get them nowhere.

"Right." She pulled away, patting Hermione's shoulder. "I'm going to go and get some tea. You can come if you like?"

Hermione shook her head, thanking Dora. Dora would want to talk to Remus about this, preferably alone, so she didn't want to be in the way. Hermione felt a lot better, anyway.

She decided to go to the Gryffindor common room, instead, to find Ginny Neville and Luna. They were sat in the warm, by the fire, and looked up excitedly to see her.

"Hermione!" Ginny squealed, giving her a hug as everyone said hello and Hermione sat down. Luna was reading the quibbler, Neville was fiddling with some kind of plant, and Ginny had some charms homework she was doing.

"So Hermione, did you hear about the ball?" Luna asked after they had settled.

"What ball? No, I didn't."

"Well, McGonagall just left. She said there's going to be a winter ball for all years 5-7, on December the 5th." Ginny spoke excitedly.

"Really? Oh my goodness!" Hermione said, grinning. They dissolved into a heated conversation about dresses and food and drinks and hair and makeup, Neville looking a little awkward.

"So, who are you going with?" Hermione asked.

Ginny smiled. "Harry and Ron are coming, so are the rest of the others that left. I'll go with Harry." Of course. If they were engaged, who else would Ginny go with?

"What about you Luna?" Luna blushed a little, grabbing Neville's hand with a small smile.

"Neville's asked me." She said, a small but gleeful smile upon her face. "Have you thought of anyone, Hermione?"

Hermione stopped. It was obvious she couldn't go with Severus, even if he wanted to, which she doubted he would at the moment.

"I'm not sure yet…" She was quiet, and Ginny tried to stop the girl from getting too confused.

"Just not Cormac, hey." The red-haired witch spoke, and everyone dissolved into laughter, conversation merging into happier topics. Ginny and Harry were planning their wedding to be in early spring, just a few months away, and in the Christmas holidays Luna and Neville were going on holiday together to go and find nargles in Peru. The atmosphere was warm and friendly, soothing to Hermione after the events earlier, and she found herself happier than she had felt in a long while.

Soon enough, Luna and Neville went to walk together outside in the cool moonlight, leaving Ginny and Hermione alone to talk.

"So, how are you and Severus? I was meaning to ask, actually, how things went while he was in hospital, you know, on _the day_ …" Ginny said, conspiratorially. Hermione thought no one would have realised they had to renew the bond while Severus was in hospital, but it was apparent that Ginny missed very little.

"It was…" She broke off, red-faced and giggling. Ginny slapped her arm.

"You didn't…" She gasped, and hermione nodded, laughing.

"We… well, we did it properly, I guess. It was incredible."

"And how has it been since then?" Ginny asked, giggles consuming her.

Hermione shrugged. "A bit awkward, to be honest… Neither of us really want to talk about it, so we've gone back to the old way."

Ginny looked incredibly disappointed. "Oh, Hermione. You need to sort it out! Go and speak to him. Go now, go on." She prompted, and Hermione shook her head.

"No, it's okay… He's probably busy."

"Bullshit, you're just scared of what he'll say."

"I'm not!" Ginny shot her a look, and she relented. "Okay, fine. I am nervous, but wouldn't you be?"

"I don't know, I'm not the one shagging my professor." Hermione slapped Ginny's arm, laughing.

"Stop it! Alright, I'll go later tonight, but I don't know if I'll talk to him, he might not answer the door."

"You'd better." Ginny said, and the two laughed once again.

Hours later, and Hermione lay in bed tossing and turning unable to sleep. Gone, were the laughs of earlier, and the only thing that remained was cold hard truth that she and Severus needed to talk.

What was wrong with her? Had she finally begun to forget the fear of what had happened enough to care more about Severus' injuries. Was it possible that she cared about him more than she thought?

The fact that him being injured made her more worried for his wellbeing than for her safety with the bond troubled her. Caring, she had decided when her parents had had their memories wiped, was not always an advantage.

At her parents, she suddenly felt a wave of nausea, right to her stomach. They had no idea about any of this, and never would. They lived a happy life in Australia, safe, but without her, without their daughter. It broke Hermione's heart to know that she could have died and they would be none the wiser, not caring one jot.

They meant everything to her, but she meant nothing to them.

 _Hermione._ As if on a cue, he called into the barren desolation of her mind.

 _Yes, what is it?_

 _Are you okay? Your thoughts…_

 _I… I'm not going to do anything stupid that would hurt you, if that's what you mean._

 _I don't mean that at all, I just noticed that you don't sound very happy, that's all._

 _Well, good job at deducing that. What gave it away, the dwelling on my parents? On you? I love that you listen to my thoughts, it makes me feel so much better._ Her tone was unusually harsh, and she didn't know where this was coming from.

 _Sorry… I'm just trying to help._

 _I know. I just get frustrated, not with you, just with everything I guess._

 _Would it help if we talked, not in your head?_

 _I guess…_

 _You can come and find me if you want. I'm in my quarters._

Sighing, Hermione set off down the corridor, heading to Snape's rooms. They were near the Lupins', and it was with a slightly shaking hand that she knocked, the door swinging open to reveal the man himself.

"Come in." he spoke softly, and she followed him through, looking around to see his rooms. She expected dark and damp, with black marble like in the dungeons, but was surprised to see a warmth in the décor, despite the emerald green colour.

"I'm sorry, if I've stopped you sleeping." She said, looking up at his face, to see a softer expression than normal, and a mild look of concern. "I can go, I should go, I just… I don't know how to cope with my parents and this boggart and training today was just too much and-" She was interrupted from her upset ramble when he drew her into a hug, for the first time. She was slightly shorter than him, and her head rested under his chin, tucked safely into his warm embrace. Hands around her back held her calmly, gently, with just a hint of apprehension that showed her it wasn't some kind of odd dream.

With some strange kind of courage, she looked up at him once again, eyes locked onto his, exchanging words neither of them were quite sure of. His eyes flicked momentarily to her lips, full and round in the cool light of the room, and before either of them were aware of what was happening they were kissing, faces joined into a lock of strange love.

Her lips were touching his, and she felt warm breath on her face, sending a shudder down her body which caused him to grip her tighter. One hand moved onto his face, caressing his sharp cheekbone as she kissed him, feeling his hands delightfully on her waist.

Her tongue begged for entry, and he opened his mouth slightly, deepening the kiss. There was a moment of bright electricity where her tongue collided with his, and they moved, still kissing, to his room, finding his bed and laying on it, Hermione on top.

She took off his outer robes, and he took off hers, groaning slightly as her hip brushed against his and she felt his hardness through the black fabric of his trousers. Although she began to feel more and more emotional, things progressed quickly, both ignoring the fact that talking needed to happen between them because doing this felt better. It was when only their underwear remained that Severus felt tears sliding down Hermione's cheek onto his, and pulled back, drawing them out of the peculiar dreamlike situation they found themselves in. It was late, nearly one in the morning, and Hermione didn't really know what had made her cry, but she seemed unable to stop.

Severus sighed, drew her under the covers, and shifted them so that they were embracing underneath the soft, down duvet.

A small sob erupted from her chest as a thought of how strange this all was consumed her, and Severus drew her in closer, comforting her until she felt better and stopped crying.

They stayed like that, limbs intertwined, until they fell asleep, still locked together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

A/N Hey guys, thankyou so much to everyone for their support after the last chapter! Things seem to resolve themselves more in this chapter, there is a 'talk' so that's hopefully exciting!

I feel like I am an unusual author in this sort of story, as I don't actually like Severus. I think he has had a very hard time, and been manipulated, but was incredibly horrible and chose to take out his emotions on innocent children, so I need to add that the Severus in this story is changing for the better and probably isn't completely accurate. No matter how bad things get, you can still choose how to behave, and his choices made him someone not very nice, bit he should improve in theory... I hope...

Anyway, hope you enjoy! The chapter after this will have some MAJOR plot stuff, so that should be good!

Please review if you liked it, and fave and follow

h xx

Hermione woke slowly, rearing her head out of covers she had not yet realised weren't her own. She stretched, flexing her limbs and pushing the frizzy strands of hair out of her face, eyes opening to the light flitting into the room.

Then three things dawned on her: this was Severus' bed, he had gone, and it was Wednesday, so she had lessons. Casting a quick tempus charm, she found that it was eight in the morning; breakfast was just beginning. Relieved that she hadn't missed the start of lessons, she decided Severus must have left earlier, probably not wanting to have to deal with her waking up, and quickly got out of bed, stumbling to get her clothes which were strewn across the room from the night before.

Whilst she quickly charmed her clothes clean and removed the rumples, and then dressed, her mind wandered to the actions of the night before. She had practically leapt at Severus, and her strange action confused her to no end. What must he think of her? Trying to relive the night both of them wanted to forget and then coming at him acting like they were newlyweds on honeymoon? She was embarrassed, and more than a little relieved that he wasn't there to see her embarrassment.

They probably needed to talk, but Hermione was reluctant. He obviously didn't like her back in that way, last night had made that obvious, and she decided that he was probably just shocked and felt sorry for her, as well as feeling guilty for having to sleep with a pupil on a regular basis in the very school where he taught her.

After all, he had had no say in any of this, and he was still hopelessly in love with Lily Potter. He would never want Lily's son's best friend, that was too absurd to think of.

So why, Hermione thought, did she care so much?

Why did she care about a man who had hurt her, why did the thought of them being stuck like this, together, forever, make her feel relief instead of anxiety?

Of course, she realised she could now hide these thoughts from Severus, with her blocking exercises she had learnt. She could mute her thoughts from him, building a wall that would prevent him from hearing her unless he tried to break it down, for the moment. And, of course, she did this, because she saw no reason to bother him with all of these silly feelings, when he felt nothing mutual.

Stepping into the bathroom with the pile of clean clothes in her hand, she stepped into the warm heat of the shower, quickly scrubbing off the night and trying to stop tears. The water soothed her, surprisingly so, and after she stepped out and dressed, arranging and drying her hair to make herself look presentable, she did feel a lot better. Just because the bond didn't scare her, it didn't mean she wasn't a little relieved that Severus would not be able to hear all of her thoughts without consent.

Discovering that in her daydream she had missed breakfast, she headed to her transfiguration lesson, mind feeling a little lost. She felt, quite frankly, a little humiliated at how she had behaved with Severus, and she felt awkward about how she felt towards him, when he - she decided - definitely didn't feel the same.

Why, and how, could he care about a girl less than half of his age, when he was in love with said girl's best friend's dead mother.

Hermione walked into the classroom, smiling placatingly at Luna and Neville as she sat down, Professor McGonagall walking in behind her. She was staring down at her hands, listening to the sounds around her in an effort to ground herself. There was chatter, mostly concerning outfits for the ball, along with laughs and scrapes of chairs, and clinking inkwells upon crowded desks.

Minerva spoke up over the dim racket, voice professorial and in control.

"Now, settle down pupils. Today, we will be doing something rather exciting. I have decided, that because we have been blessed with a small, and gifted, class, for the next part of the year we will be learning how to become animagi. This will count for your NEWT grade, because I have decided not to hold an exam, and rely on this instead." There were excited whispers; Hermione's heart fluttered apprehensively in delight. It was true that Minerva had asked her if she would like to do this, privately, a little while ago, but it was a lovely surprise, and Hermione knew it would be a relief to have one fewer exam at the end of the year.

"However, students, know that this is not letting you off easily. There will be a lot of work involved in doing this, but I would not be asking this of you if I did not truly believe that each one of you is capable of this. We will be beginning with meditative exercises, and following a strategy I used myself, to learn how to become animagi. I need to add," Her voice spoke, a little mischievously, "that this is all ministry approved, and you will be registering once you gain the ability to shift into an animal form. I will not have eleven pupils wandering unrecorded around the forbidden forest as animals, no matter what has happened in the past." Hermione felt an inward chuckle, at the mention. Minerva knew of the Marauder's exploits, and although she sounded discouraging, there was a hint of rebellion she couldn't quite quell within her voice.

The lesson progressed, Hermione finding the exercises easy due to her experience of occlumency, and for the next half hour they followed Minerva's guide. Hermione remained calm, until she felt Severus' voice in her head once again, busting through the shields like they were paper.

 _Hermione?_

He sounded frantic, almost, and it shocked Hermione so much that she almost fell off of her stool.

 _Hermione? Are you okay?_

 _Fine, thanks. Why? What's wrong?_

 _I just… You've made shields._

 _Well, yes._

 _I… Ah… Sorry, I realised there had been silence and worried. It's rare, for there to be silence now._

 _Oh. Well, I'm fine. I'm just in transfiguration now. Look, I wanted to apologise, for last night._

 _Don't, I understand. I think we should talk, though._

 _Oh, okay. I can now, if you want._

 _No, face to face, later. But, well done, for learning how to create the shields. I'm, I'm proud…_

 _It's your teaching. Besides, it was time to give you a break. You don't want to have to listen to my dreary thoughts all day, it must be awful._

 _It didn't really bother me._

 _Don't lie, it's okay. Anyway, I'll speak later, yeah? I can meet you at your rooms, if you like, this evening?_

 _Okay. I'll see you then._

Hermione constructed the shields once again, blocking her thoughts from escaping. To her, it felt incredibly relieving. She had privacy, space, and for the first time since the bond she knew he wasn't hearing whatever she thought.

In a good mood, lessons passed quickly until she found herself sat with Ginny at lunch time, seeing her smirking at her knowingly.

"What?" she laughed, as ginny raised her eyebrows.

"Well," she started, conspiratorially, "Neville tells me that you didn't come back to the dorm last night, at least not until really late, and you weren't at breakfast. So, I just want to know if the lucky guy is who I think he is, because it's not a Tuesday."

Hermione's jaw dropped in mock outrage, chuckling softly. "I went to see him, but nothing really happened."

"You know you're crap at lying, right?"

"I'm not lying! We kissed a bit, but I was upset, so…"

"Ohh, sorry." Ginny looked a little worried at her slip up, but Hermione shook her head.

"No need. I'm fine, just had some mental sorting out to do, I guess. I feel better now though."

Ginny nodded thoughtfully, grabbing an apple as the two had finished their meal. She bit into it, swallowing before she spoke again. "So, what did you need to resolve, in your head?"

Hermione bit back the lump in her throat. "I guess just my feelings."

"Feelings?"

"For him." Ginny's eyes widened slightly, and she coughed up some apple that had gone the wrong way.

"You have feelings for him? Does he know?"

"No, and he isn't going to. I've just worked myself up into some stupid way of thinking, because he's never going to care about me in that way and my mental health is wobbly at the moment, so I just need to get over it and move on before it ruins my life anymore."

Ginny frowned disapprovingly, but Hermione wouldn't let her speak. "I don't want you to pity my feelings, they probably stem from some kind of mental disorder I've developed, and I just need to ignore them."

"That doesn't sound very healthy though, Hermione. If you feel things, you should tell him. Hang on, can't he hear all of your thoughts anyway?"

"I don't think it would help though, things are really awkward as it is, and he's still in love with Harry's mum, there's no way he'd like me. And, I've made progress with the occlumency so now I can block the thoughts, which is good."

"That is good, must be a relief."

"Yeah, Severus won't have to listen to me complain anymore."

"I meant for you, Hermione. Look, I know you don't agree with me, but it isn't healthy to repress things like that. You should tell him how you feel, he might feel the same. And he doesn't not care about you, you're lovely and he knows that."

"I'm an insufferable know it all, according to him."

"That was years ago, and he's less of a mardy bastard now. Try talking to him, please. For me…"

"I guess. Okay."

The two finished their food, heading the DADA classroom for the next lesson. Remus was sat at the desk, busy reading a book, glasses perched upon the edge of his nose.

"You okay, girls?" He asked, putting a bookmark in place and levitating the book back to its shelf as the rest of the class started to file in.

"Yeah thanks, professor. How are you?" Ginny said, taking a seat near the front.

"Okay, thanks." He said, but Hermione say through it - the full moon was in days, and he was worried about Teddy. "Dora's much better, she's a lot brighter today." Hermione hummed in happiness at that, and sat down too, at a desk next to Ginny's.

"Okay, class, welcome. Today, we will be continuing our work on patronus charms, and you'll be glad to know - I'm sure - that it will be mostly practical today." The class began to murmur excitedly, and Remus smirked.

"Now, don't get to excited. We will spend this lesson learning how to conjure a patronus, and then next lesson we will be travelling to the ministry, where there will be dementors for us to practise on. Now, I can understand if some of you, particularly those involved in the war, don't wish to face the dementors, and although it will be completely safe and there will be officials to step in, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Okay?" Everyone nodded, and they got started, trying to conjure their patronus'.

Hermione tried to think of memories for a little while, and found herself drawn to the blissful way she and Severus had been together those few weeks ago, closing her eyes, before chanting: expecto patronum. She felt a tug at her wand, and opened her eyes cautiously to see an otter - her patronus. It was the first time she'd been able to conjure it since the war, since that time in Dumbledore's army all that time ago. The otter skipped around the fellow students before fading away, each of them turning to look at her in awe.

"Well done Hermione! Fabulous work!" Lupin boomed, and the others nodded, clapping, but Hermione was in a haze. She shook her head, pulling herself into focus and blushed slightly, smiling happily.

The others resumed their tries, and soon enough everyone in the class had gotten it, owing to the gentle encouragement of Remus. Class was happy, full of smiles due to the happy memories and achievements, and the fact that they had back the best professor they'd ever had.

So why was Hermione the only one not smiling?

Conflicted, she felt torn between two versions of herself. One, a smart, independent woman, who had problems, but not ones which defined her. Someone who dealt with things without letting them interfere.

But then there was the truth, that she was falling in love with someone who she didn't ever think would requite that love.

"Hermione?" Ginny spoke softly, glancing at her as hermione brought her eyes up to meet Ginny's.

"Sorry. Spaced out there." She cleared her throat, blinking to stop her eyes watering.

"Alright?" she asked, eyes searching. Class was leaving around her, and she quickly pulled herself together.

"Yep." She smiled, making herself be okay, because no one else could do that.

Ginny smiled comfortingly, linking arms with her and walking out to the common room.

Barely convinced that this was a good idea, Hermione walked shakily to Severus' rooms, later that night. Ginny had spent the last few hours convincing her that sharing her feelings was a good idea, but that was quickly coming undone as truth set in.

"Come in." Severus said, as she stepped quickly inside, checking that no one could see them. "Do you want some tea?"

"Erm, yeah. Thanks." Hermione mumbled, sitting stiffly on the sofa.

He handed her a mug, and she sipped it softly as he sat opposite her, mouth drawn in a tight line.

"Look, I'm not very good at this sort of thing, believe it or not I don't exactly have much experience, but i…" Severus started awkwardly, voice tight.

"No, it's okay, you don't have to do this." She interrupted.

"No, I do. We can't carry on like this, in some sort of stasis. You don't have to hide your thoughts from me, not if it's difficult. And that doesn't just mean with the occlumency, you can tell me things. I might not be as kind as Remus, or Tonks, or Sirius, but I do care, I really do, Hermione." Hermione was struck, shocked.

"Well, I'll tell Dora you called her Tonks." She chuckled tearfully.

"Please don't, they'll think I'm going soft." He laughed, and for a moment, Hermione thought she might tell him how she felt, that it was okay. But then, she thought he might just be doing this out of guilt, because he felt bad for trashing her life even though it wasn't his fault.

"Don't do that, Hermione." He said, suddenly.

"What?"

"You're too logical for your own good."

"What do you mean."

"I might be blocked out of your head, but I can see what you're doing. You try to convince yourself that you're worthless, that no one would really like you."

"No, I don't." Hermione protested weakly, standing up. He stood up too, the two of them facing each other.

"You do, you think I'm only doing this because I feel guilty. I'm not, please believe me when I say it."

"But… I don't understand."

He sighed, and she quickly wiped a few tears from her eyes. She felt like a mess of confliction, half wanting nothing more than him and half wanting everything else.

"I feel like such a burden on you. I hate that you're stuck with me. You should have been able to find love, you should have been able to have more of a chance with…"

"With who?" his voice was soft, as if he was daring her to say it.

"With Lily."

"Hermione, I don't feel like that about Lily anymore. It has been an awfully long time, and believe it or not I can move on."

"What? But…"

"You don't understand why I said it in your mind, by accident?" She nodded, sniffing lightly. "I had to imagine something, and I'm hardly rolling in options."

"So, you don't love her?"

"I love her, I will never not love her, but I am not in love with her, it's different."

"Oh."

"And, belief it or not, I care more about you." She looked at him, gazing disbelievingly into his eyes, frowning.

"Why?"

"Don't make me say it, I don't want to make this more cheesy."

She laughed, wiping a tear from her eye again.

"I wish you didn't treat yourself like this." He said, drawing her into a hug. She clung onto him, face buried in his chest, tears flowing freely.

"I don't really know how to act anymore. I don't know how to say what I think."

"Then let me see." She nodded, and gently probed her mind, feeling the rush of emotions flood onto him as he felt what she was feeling. A brief but eternal moment passed, and before he knew it her lips joined his, briefly. The conflict was shared and cascaded around them, easing somewhat as he pulled away.

"I care about you, I really do, Hermione." He murmured softly against the heat of her mouth.

"Me too." She whispered softly, joining their lips once more.


	14. Chapter 14

Unforeseen Duty - Chapter 14

Hey guys! Sorry it's been a little while, I've been planning out the ending to this story, but now I have and it should write much faster. Thankyou to all who've favourited, followed and reviewed, it really means so much to me. I hit 50 reviews, and that's more than I could ever imagine!

I just wanted to apologise because a review made me realise I made a mistake in the beginning with the marauder's map and the room of requirement. This story isn't going to be very accurate, so I'm sorry if more mistakes happen - I tend to rush into writing without checking facts! Please bear with me if there are mistakes with the wizengamot, just pretend it's changed after the war... (please!)

Thankyou lots for reading!

Enjoy Xx

* * *

"Hermione, can you stay behind please?" Tonks called out, at the end of the DADA lesson that day. She was well enough to return, and taking Remus' place in lessons that morning, as it was the day after the full moon and he and Teddy were in the hospital wing.

"What's wrong? Are Teddy and Remus okay?" Hermione asked, stepping closer to the older witch, who looked quite tired and stressed.

"Remus is fine now, Teddy is getting better, thanks." She replied weakly. "That's not why I asked you to stay though." She swallowed, nervously, "See, Lucius' trial has been moved to after lunch today, and you're going to need to give a statement." Hermione froze, scared.

"How long have people known about the trial?" she asked, angry that she didn't know. She knew it had to happen at some point, probably in the next month, but didn't like being kept in the dark.

"We just found out last night, it was scheduled to be weeks away, but they've decided to bring it forward. We knew about it being weeks away, but we tried to tell you last night, we just couldn't find you."

"Ah…" Hermione said, biting her lip. She had spent most of the nights for the last few days with Severus, in his rooms. The two of them seemed to find it incredibly comforting, staying together and sleeping next to each other, even though nothing really happened.

Tonks smirked. "You don't have to explain, Ginny covered for you. She was there to see Harry, so said you were in her room."

Hermione nodded, trying not to smile too obviously.

"Now, I need to take you to the ministry, to prepare a statement, and then the trial is at one, so we'll get lunch there."

"Okay. Is it a closed trial?" Hermione asked worriedly, thoughts occurring to her that if it wasn't, everyone would find out. It wasn't news she wanted on the front of the Daily Prophet.

"We managed to make sure it is, don't worry. You were underage at the time of the crime, so it has to be."

Hermione nodded, pondering slowly. She felt nervous, that it wouldn't go the way she wanted it to, that Lucius might end up free again.

"Is Severus going to be there? Am I telling the truth about what happened, or…"

"I think you're going to have to. The trial is just the Wizengamot and the people involved. Severus will be there, and Kingsley is leading the trial. You'll have me leading the case.

Tonks drew her into a hug. "Hermione, at this stage, the trial doesn't mean much. He is definitely going to Azkaban for a long time, if not life, and the trial is just a protocol."

"Okay."

"Ready then?" She nodded, and flooed them to the ministry. They walked briskly to an office, Tonks leading the way. She knocked on the door, and a middle-aged witch answered, smiling grimly. Tonks placed a hand on the small of Hermione's back, leading her into the room.

"Take a seat, Miss Granger, Mrs Lupin." Palms sweating, Hermione took a seat in the plain room. It had a single light, a frosted window, a small, metal table with bottles of water and sandwiches upon it, and four chairs. Tonks took a seat next to Hermione, squeezing her shoulder supportively.

"Okay, thank you for coming in today, Miss Granger. As you know, the court trial of Mr Lucius Malfoy has been moved to a few hours, and we will need you to stand up, as part of the prosecution, to give a statement. Minister Kingsley did not specify his crimes upon his arrest, so we will need to clarify what he did to hurt you when you were abducted by him and fellow death eaters on the first of September. Do you understand?"

Hermione nodded. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She had lied to the order, and to Kingsley about the true nature of her attack, saying it had been torture and failing to specify Severus' key involvement. How would she tell the truth? Would they believe her?

"Hermione, I know you didn't tell Kinglsey the truth, but you need to now." Dora spoke firmly, reading Hermione's thoughts. The two women set to work, with minimal assistance from the other woman.

An hour later, and Hermione felt as prepared as she could, with countless pages of notes and files and a picked at sandwich stood next to the bottle of water on the desk. The woman re-entered the room, asking if they were ready. Tonks seemed to speak for her, Hermione so spaced she was only half aware of being led to a wooden bench and sat down, page of notes clutched nervously in her hands.

She looked up from the fumbling fingers, taking a look around the room. The Wizengamot were sat in their red and black robes, the fifty or so members engaged in conversation with each other before the trial began. Leading them, was Minister Kinglsey, who gave her a kind nod, single earring glinting in the dim light of the room. Next to her, were Tonks and Severus, whom she gave a nervous, small smile.

Then, her eyes met the snakelike ones of Lucius, sat in the small cell in the centre of the room. He smirked coldly, sending a shiver of fear down her spine as she quickly stopped the eye contact.

Kinglsey cleared his throat, bringing the room's attention to the trial.

"Good Afternoon. Today, the Wizengamot will be dealing with the trial of Lucius Malfoy, previous member of the Death Eaters. He has been previously deemed innocent of charges, claiming he was under the imperious curse when acting under Tom Riddle's influence." The Minister's voice was clear and concise, using the true name of Lord Voldemort like many did now. They refused to view him as any more than a man, after how he had died.

"Mr Lucius Malfoy will be charged on using dark magic to cause bodily harm, and we will hear from witnesses on the prosecution - led by Ex-Auror Nymphadora Lupin - what the true extent of his crimes are. We will then adjust the charges accordingly." The members of the Wizengamot nodded, faces serious. "Mrs Lupin, please state your case."

Tonks stood up, steeling herself and turning on her professional mode.

"Mr Lucius Malfoy is indeed guilty to all of the crimes he was deemed innocent of during the war, and since then he is guilty of regrouping death eaters - who have since disbanded - and using dark magic upon both Hermione and Severus including both the imperius and cruciatus curses. On the first of September, Mr Lucius Malfoy kidnapped Miss Hermione Granger and Mr Severus Snape. He cast a soul bond upon the pair, and put Mr Snape under the imperius curse. Since then, he also captured Mr Snape and tortured him with the cruciatus curse, when trying to get the location of his wife and son. These two were put into safe houses during a mission conducted by the order of the phoenix." There were shocked looks from everyone around the room, including Kingsley, who hadn't been aware of the truth. The use of soul bonds was extremely rare, not to mention highly illegal, and almost no one could muster the cruel intent to cast the spell.

"Hermione, would you stand to give a statement to the Minister, please." Dora spoke, and placed a comforting hand on Hermione's hand as she stood and walked shakily to the wooden podium she had to stand by.

"Please go ahead, Miss Granger. Take all the time you need."

Hermione clenched her fists and stared at the notes she had in front of her, breathing shakily.

"On the first of September, I awoke to an owl, in my room. It was a false letter, from Lucius, from McGonagall telling me I was head girl, and that I had to get the train to Hogwarts, instead of flooing, which I had planned to do. I didn't see anything wrong with getting the letter, none of us are very suspicious any more, we haven't needed to be. When I arrived at the station, I was kidnapped. They knocked me out, and I knew nothing until I woke in a cell, with no natural light. I was then taken through the corridors by masked death eaters. I recognised the house as Lucius' straight away, because of, well, because of the war."

"Anyway, I was put into the room, and Severus and Lucius were there." She cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the lump. "Lucius was, well, he was angry at Severus. He felt that because Severus had betrayed Voldemort, and helped 'convert' Malfoy and Narcissa, that he, well, he deserved revenge. This revenge was to bind our souls together - he knew how much Severus would have hated it and himself because of it. He did the initial spell, the mental bonding, and then he placed Severus under the imperius curse to complete the second part. He… Well…" Hermione's voice trailed off as she clenched her fists, trying to gather strength.

"I had my clothing removed, and was bound to a metal table. Then, he had Severus… He, erm…"

"Miss Granger, you don't have to say any more. I think we are all aware of what you were going to say." Kingsley spoke gently, and Hermione nodded, mouth dry.

"What happened afterwards?" He asked, and she cleared her throat, slowly, licking her dry lips.

"I must have passed out, but I woke, and he spoke to me a little. Severus had gone, and then he removed the bounds and gave me my things. I apparated back to school, after that. I just want to say." She paused, looking over to Severus, who had a veiled expression that was impossible to read. "Severus, well, he has his faults, as do all of us, but he would never, ever, want to do something so barbaric. He has been nothing but kind to me, after this, so please, don't blame him. It has been equally hard for us both."

"Thank you, Miss Granger, you may sit now." Shaking, Hermione avoided the eyes of everyone, especially Lucius, and walked back to her seat, biting her lip. Tonks took her hand, comfortingly, and she squeezed it in return, letting out a shallow puff of air.

"Members of the Wizengamot, I feel that this is a very convincing statement, one which leads to my only option being to suggest a life sentence in Azkaban. Mr Lucius Malfoy has used dark magic, including two unforgivable curses and use of a soul bond. He has also clearly lied about his true loyalties and presumably the statement he made after the war stating that he only did what he did under the influence of the imperius curse. I do not want him to receive the dementors kiss. I want Mr Malfoy to serve his time, to suffer for the suffering he has put these people through."

The were approving murmurs throughout the Wizengamot, and Hermione could make out vague 'hear, hear' chants.

"And so, I must ask, are there any queries within the Wizengamot?"

For just a minute, Hermione thought that - quite unusually - there would be no questions. Then, a rather tentative hand rose from a woman in her mid-fifties.

"I was wondering, why didn't Professor Snape resist the imperius curse. I may not know much about the bond, but the imperius curse can be overridden from a strong magical mind, which you happen to have, Professor."

"You raise an excellent point, Mrs Greylings. However, after the first spell is conducted, there is no way to stop the process. If the second stage does not follow, both parties will die. I'm sure most of you will understand where Severus came from if he told us he didn't want to intentionally rape Miss Granger. We cannot blame him in any way for finding the easiest possible way to allow both to survive."

The inquiring witch nodded in understanding, and Hermione shot a look at severus in surprise. She hadn't thought about that, about the imperius, but seeing his face, she felt embarrassed that it hadn't crossed her mind. By allowing the imperius to take effect, he made it easier for himself, but harder for her. However, she didn't blame him, she would have found it horrible either way, and if it eased the guilt for him, she felt better.

She was tempted to tell him this, but though better of it, now wasn't the time.

"If there are no more questions, we will vote." Kingsley's voice boomed, jolting her back into the present. "All those in favour of a life imprisonment in Azkaban, raise your hand."

Hermione held her breath, but quickly realised she didn't need to. As Kinglsey counted, it was clear that every member of the wizengamot voted in favour.

"Well, with 54 votes to 0, I hereby sentence you, Lucius Malfoy, to a lifetime imprisonment at Azkaban."

* * *

It was well after midnight when Hermione finally amassed the courage to go to Severus's rooms that night. He had disappeared, apparating away after the trial without so much of a word to Hermione or Tonks, and Hermione had wanted to follow, but couldn't. In a flash, it felt like the steps they'd made together were gone.

Of course, logically, she knew he just needed time, and so did she. Having so many people find out was hard, and despite the celebration Tonks had hosted with Harry, Ron and the others, Hermione felt no brighter.

The door swung open, blasting through Hermione's thoughts. He was there, in front of her, and Hermione met his eyes, expecting a blank guilt, but finding surprising warmth.

"Come in, Hermione. Your occlumency is good, but I could hear your brain ticking from outside the door."

She followed him in, sitting next to him on the sofa, fire crackling warmly to lessen the chill of both of their moods. Their thighs were touching, and as a shiver ran down Hermione's back he brought his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"You know, I don't blame you one bit, even if you could have overridden the imperius. To be honest, I'm glad you didn't."

"Really? I assumed-"

"-that I'd want you to be you? That it may have helped if you weren't under the curse?"

"Well, yes."

"I thought I would feel like that too…"

"but you don't?" Vulnerable eyes found hers, and she grasped his hand.

"It makes it easier if I can class you as separate people. Him, as the one who hurt me, and you, as the one who I lo…" she trailed off, not able to finish the word.

"the one you?" His thumb traced careful circles on the inside of her wrist, and she couldn't think straight.

"The one that I love." The words fell from her mouth before she could catch them, and before she could say any more, his lips were on hers. They kissed only for a moment, but it was full of such tenderness and care that she barely understood the consequences of what she had said. He pulled away first, bringing her into a hug, embracing both of their fears to allow them to follow their hearts.

It wasn't until they were in bed, curled up together, that he could reply. It wasn't until her though she was asleep, not able to hear him, that he could offer his reciprocations, which she heard anyway. She didn't tell him, just pulled him closer, nuzzling his chest.

* * *

There was an intent knocking at the door, which broke the two out of sleep. Severus rolled over grumpily, ignoring it, but after Hermione had realised that the person clearly wasn't going away, she quickly shrugged on her clothes, pulling at her hair and smoothing her appearance.

She opened the door, almost meeting Dora's fist as she tried to knock again.

"Hermione! Sorry, love! What are you doing there?" She asked quickly, smirking slightly at the realisation that Hermione had clearly not slept in her own rooms. "Never mind, can I come in?"

Hermione felt a breath down her neck, and Severus spoke up from behind her.

"Come in, Tonks."

She came and sat down, and Hermione noticed the paper she was holding. The colour drained from her face when a realisation hit her.

"It's been leaked, hasn't it?" she murmured softly, hand rising to her mouth. The older woman paused for a moment, then nodded, sadly, and showed the two the front page of the daily prophet.

 _MALFOY'S ARREST AFTER BINDING A TEACHER AND STUDENT MEANS A LIFETIME IN AZKABAN ._

 _Hermione granger, princess of the Golden Trio has had her soul bonded to teacher Professor Snape in a hideous act of revenge by the so called innocent death eater: Lucius Malfoy…_

Severus kept reading, but Hermione felt sick to her core. She ran out of the room, hand over her mouth as she barely made it to the toilet before she started to be sick. A moment later and Tonks and Severus appeared, Tonks rushing to hold back her hair and stroke her back as she coughed and retched.

A few minutes later and she felt finished, casting a quick cleaning charms and wiping her brow. Sitting up, she met eyes with Tonks, who gave her a worried look.

"Okay?" she asked, and Hermione nodded, frowning.

"Just a shock. So, does everyone know?"

Severus handed her a glass of water with a small smile, which she returned weakly.

Tonks nodded. "Molly woke Remus and I this morning at around seven thirty, flooing into our room and demanding the truth. By now… by now it's probably been read by almost everyone in Wizarding England." She spoke gently, but her eyes were angry.

"How on Earth could they find out?" Severus sputtered furiously. "It was a closed trial!"

"I have no idea… Hermione was seventeen, the charms mean no one in the Wizengamot can talk about it outside of the room because of her age."

"Oh…" Hermione muttered, mind suddenly realising the age addition caused from the time turner in her third year. Her birthday was in early September anyway, there was around six months added to her age with the amount she used it. "I had a time turner, in third year." She clarified.

"Yeah, Remus mentioned that. You used it to save Sirius, right?" Dora asked, and Hermione nodded.

"Who would do that though? Who would tell the press?" Severus asked, angry.

Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't really matter, does it? We can't change it, after all." She let out a sigh and closed her eyes, leaning her head backwards against the tiles of the bathroom. "Merlin, all the pupils… Severus, I'm so sorry. It's going to be awful for you…"

"Don't, it's not your fault." He murmured, and Hermione got up off of the floor.

"Molly wants to see you both." Tonks said softly. "If you feel up to it, would you go and talk to her?" she asked, and Hermione met Snape's eyes. He nodded, questioning her with the gaze and she nodded in return.

They walked, shaking slightly to the Lupin's quarters, and when Hermione took his hand, he did not pull away, just squeezing it slightly.

 _I heard you._ She said, in his mind, taking down the barriers.

 _What?_

 _Last night._

 _Oh._

 _I just wanted to tell you, this doesn't change anything. I still feel the same, this won't change it._

 _Thankyou._

His hand squeezed hers again, and they shared a look of comfort.

They had reached the room, and it was time to face the wrath of Molly Weasley.

As soon as Hermione was in the door she was wrapped in a bone crushing hug and utterly consumed in the huge embrace from the Weasley matriarch. She smelled like home; Hermione was reminded of her mother so much that she couldn't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks as she sniffed lightly.

Molly pulled back, wiping away a tear and frowning, muttering about her being too thin and needing a good jumper and some dinner, before she looked to Severus.

Hermione flinched nervously, awaiting a slap or verbal onslaught. She looked around the room and saw that Remus and Tonks were also waiting nervously to her reaction to the man. She took a step towards Severus, frowning, hands on her hips.

And then, Molly Weasley opened her arms and hugged Severus Snape.

It shocked them all, especially him as his arms flailed a little, unable to find purchase on her back.

"Thank you. Thank you for looking after her." She said, squeezing him tightly. He was blushing more than Hermione had ever seen him do before, and Remus and Tonks were holding back snickers.

She pulled away, and he cleared him throat roughly, straightening his robes and nodding at her.

"Oh, get a grip." She said, but there was a fondness instead of an edge. "Right, shall we sort this great big mess out, then?"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Hello! It's been an awfully long time, too long, and I am so sorry it has taken me this long to upload! I've had really bad writer's block, and this chapter still doesn't feel quite right, but I thought it's best to just upload it now I have it...

There isn't loads left, but there's an exciting discovery at the end of the chapter, which might come as a surprise...

I hope you enjoy, and thankyou so so much to anyone who came to read this story even though it's been ages!

I hope you enjoy and I'll update soon (hopefully lol)

Thanks Xx

* * *

The nerves that raged through Hermione's body the two days after the news came out almost killed her.

All through the corridors, in the great hall, and in lessons, there were whispers and points at her. Words were hushed, but through turned backs that used to be welcoming, she heard the meaning behind every whisper shared.

She felt sick. Her head was pounding, heart fluttering, and she couldn't manage more than a mouthful of toast without having to leave the great hall to throw up.

Ginny had reached her in the bathroom, stroked her head and held back her hair as the young woman vomited. Comforting words left her mouth to sooth hurt ears, and slowly Hermione stopped retching, coming to rest on the floor next to the toilet.

Transfiguring a pen into a water glass, Ginny filled the cup with water and then handed it to Hermione. She brought it to her lips, sipping it slowly before sighing a little.

"Thankyou." She said, softly, and Ginny nodded gently in reply.

"It'll get better, you know?" she said, "Gossip travels quickly, especially gossip like this, but it'll fade soon. There's still the ball, so we could ask McGonagall to try to distract everyone with that."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, that should help." Hermione said, voice detached. She knew Ginny was trying her hardest to help her feel better, but she also knew that this sort of gossip would take a very, very long time to die out. Every lesson with either of the couple would remind the students, and although most were sure to end up being supportive of at least Hermione, if not Severus, it would still be challenging.

A head poked round the edge of the door, and Mrs Weasley looked around the room, spying the two sat on the floor next to the loo.

"Hello girls. I'm heading back today, so I'm just coming to say goodbye." She'd been helping Minerva deal with press and parental queries for the last two days since the news got out, and had been a fantastic help to Hermione and everyone else.

"Okay, mum."

"Are you okay Hermione?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She nodded, standing and smoothing her skirt down.

"She's just been sick again mum." Ginny said, brushing off Hermione's reply.

"Again, sweetheart?" Mrs Weasley frowned, coming properly into the room. "That's been every morning now…"

She felt Hermione's forehead, looking at her face.

"You are a little clammy, do you have a cold?"

Hermione shook her head. "I have a headache, I think I'm just really tired. I just feel really nauseous though."

"Hmm." Molly's frown deepened. "Go and see Poppy, she can give you some pepper up potion or something."

"Okay, thanks Molly."

"Right, so I'll see you girls soon. I trust you're coming to us for Christmas, Hermione?"

"If that's okay?"

"Of course!" she gave both girls a hug, before turning to leave. "I'll see you soon, okay? Take care!"

* * *

Severus Snape was tired. He had given out twenty detentions that day - a new record - and the firewhisky bottle was calling to him.

With Hermione somewhere else, presumably feeling guilty and like hiding from him, he was struggling to address his own guilt about the situation.

When it was just them, it felt so natural. She was far too mature for her age, and her intelligence and personality disguised her age. The whispers in class had been excessive, concerning her age, his blame and their sex life, and his fast handout of detentions at the start of each lesson had put a stop to most of them, but that wasn't the worst part.

The stares, the silent judging looks from his better behaved students were the worst.

It was as if he were too despicable to imagine. A barely respectable teacher in the first place, then put into a relationship with a hero of a student meant that Hermione was pitied, and he was blamed.

All of the progress they had made in the last few weeks was fading, and he wanted to reach out and talk, but didn't quite know how anymore, when he didn't know where she was.

He summoned the bottle angrily, frustrated with his mind, and began to drink.

Two hours later, and Hermione knocked quietly on the door. She had waited until after her and Neville had to do the curfew patrols to go to Severus' rooms, wanting to avoid being seen walking to the teacher's rooms.

There was no answer, and she tried again, before taking and deep breath and opening the door, not wanting to wait outside in the corridor for too long.

Severus was passed out drunk on the chair by the fire, head lolled to one side, empty bottles of firewhisky next to him. Hermione let out a ragged breath and looked at him sadly, worried at what had made him drink so much.

Was he angry at her? Fed up of her? She knew she had vaguely wanted to get rid of the bond before, but now she was sure she needed to work out a way for them to live apart. She needed to get past these stockholm syndrome feelings, and make sure they wouldn't have to be together forever, living like this.

She raked a hand through her curls, throwing her hair up into a ponytail and putting her hands on her hips. She went to his potions stash, grabbing a sobering potion and a hangover potion, and bringing them to Severus along with a glass of water.

She opened his mouth, holding his chin with one hand and the bottle with another, and poured the sobering potion down his throat.

He choked, coming around, and spluttered, swallowing the potion down and lurching forward, grabbing her wrists tightly and throwing her backwards, getting his wand out of his back pocket and aiming it at her. Hermione fell backwards with a gasp, shielding her face with her hands.

"Severus! What are you doing!" she cried out, trying to get up from the floor unsuccessfully.

He quickly came out of the stupor, glazed eyes returning to normal, and mouth opening and closing in shocked horror. "Jesus, fuck! I, ah." He raked a hand over his eyes, helping her up quickly.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry. I…" Hermione was watching him, a wary distance away.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have shocked you like that. I know you have reflexes… We all do, I guess. I was stupid, I'm sorry."

Her face crumpled, fading and his heart ached painfully. "No, don't be sorry. You were helping me… I was stupid to be so weak and give in to my feelings." He glanced down at her wrists, seeing the bruises forming from his earlier grip. Her eyes followed his, and she tried to cover her wrists when he reached out, grasping them. He turned her wrists in his hand, and he looked at his face, the deep frown etched between his brows as he studied them.

"So clean, free from it all." He murmured, just soft enough to hear.

"Not really, not with this." She argued lightly, gesturing to the mudblood carved into her forearm, red letters glinting evilly at her, taunting after all of this time.

"But that was out of your control…" he said, bringing his wand to the fingertip bruises around her wrists and healing them quickly with a spell that made tingles flow from her hands to her shoulders. She knew what that meant. Whilst she couldn't get rid of the word, he had the dark mark engraved upon him, fading lightly with time but never quite leaving.

"We all do stupid things, things we regret, Severus."

He met her eyes, smiling a little. She smiled up at him, and chuckled.

"You look awful, Severus. Have some of that hangover potion."

"Thanks," he rolled his eyes, and took the potion quickly. With a shudder, he stayed turned from her, shoulders elevated like he was going to say something, but he sighed and shook his head to himself.

"What is it?" Hermione asked. "Please, just tell me what you need to say."

"I… Well. It's odd. I say to myself, when I'm alone, that I'm going to end this, us. Not the bond thing, that's impossible, but I can't keep leading you into a relationship when you're young enough to be my child. But, then we're together, and it just fits, and I can't do anything to stop my brain sending all of those plans out of the window."

"Oh. Well, I guess I've been feeling similarly. But I can't keep doing this, getting close to you and then running away. It's making me… I think it's making me ill."

"You've been ill?"

Hermione nodded. "I think so. I don't really know, I think I'm just stressed and it's making me feel really nauseous and tired."

"Have you spoken too Poppy?"

Hermione nodded. "She gave me a pepper up potion earlier, and it did help a bit with the headache and fatigue, but…"

"Not with the nausea?"

"It tends to fade after lunch, so that's okay."

"How long has it been like this?"

"About a week."

"You should have told me. I had no idea…"

Hermione shrugged. "I've been worse. We've both been worse."

He frowned, nodded and drew her into a tight hug. She inhaled, smelling the pine and parchment and something that was totally male and him.

"We'll get better at this, you know." He said, and she looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "We're both independent, and it's a learning curve to share your life with someone, but we'll manage."

Hermione knew she didn't need anything to say, and leaning up, kissed him lightly. He returned it, deepening it lightly as her lips tingled.

All rational thought left their brains as they stumbled to the bedroom, replaced with want, and need. Their tongues mingled, softly invading one another's mouths before he slowly pulled away.

"Do you want to do this? Do you feel ready enough?" He asked, before she snorted lightly, reaching a hand behind his head and pulling his mouth to hers in answer.

He pulled away again, spinning and going to his potions store, grabbing a contraceptive which she grabbed, ripping off the top.

She nodded in understanding, drinking it, before a thought came to her head.

That night, in the hospital wing. Had she taken a contraceptive?

Oh, dear Merlin, she couldn't remember.

Suddenly the fire in her stomach turned into a slick ice, wrapping her gut and making her head spin.

She saw Severus frown, watching her perplexing expression, before she composed herself, smiling slowly.

"Tastes a bit rank…" She explained, casting a tooth cleaning spell before leaning in to kiss him once again.

It would do no good to worry him with stupid worries over pregnancy. The time was wrong, she hadn't even had her cycle, she couldn't be pregnant.

He manoeuvred them to his bed as his hand brushed over the nipple under her thin bra, slipping off their remaining shoes and clothes as they kissed, hands finding each other's waists.

She hadn't had her cycle in ages.

Suddenly, the nausea, fatigue and mood swings all fell into place. Her façade fell, and face crumpled into a worried frown again.

It was all very well trying to deny it, but she knew that deep down, her gut was right. She was pregnant.

Severus stopped, noticing that his tender ministrations were no longer being reciprocated and her lustful gaze had turned to worry, and drew her against his chest.

"We'll just sleep tonight, yeah?" He murmured, kissing her hair, as she nodded.

"Sorry. I'm just…"

"Don't." his voice was firm, unwavering. "Don't ever feel guilty for that. I couldn't if you weren't one hundred percent into it."

Hermione smiled, chuckling, he felt her mouth move against his chest.

"What's so funny? I'm trying to be sincere here." He laughed, to see her look up at him.

"This is all just so surreal. Six months ago, if someone had told me I'd be laying here, like this, and you'd just said the words 'into it', there's no way I'd believe them."

He didn't say anything, and she slid up the bed, facing him and kissing him softly. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

He turned her in his arms, spooning her as she leant back into his frame, and he smiled contentedly.

Meanwhile, a silent tear slipped down her cheek, and after it fell off the edge of her face onto the pillow, more seemed to follow unconsciously. Why was her mood so erratic?

She however, waited nervously for his breathing to turn into soft snores before slipping out of his embrace, pulling on a jumper and some leggings, and padding softly out into the corridors. Trying desperately to stop crying and pull herself together.

Driven by anxiety at the now almost-definite probability that she was pregnant, she realised that she needed to go somewhere to think.

Her feet carried her through the school, up the cold stone stairs to the astronomy tower, her thinking place of choice.

It seemed, however, that she was not the only one who needed to think.

Sirius Black was sat, Teddy Lupin asleep in a travel cot next to him, staring up at the stars, a blank look of awe on his face.

Ironically, it appeared that his name seemed to be well chosen. She had never known he had an infatuation with the stars, and it was surprising, given his abhorrence of the people who gave him that name.

She must have made a little noise, however, as he spun around, gasping lightly, before laughing.

"Jesus, Granger, you made me jump there."

She smiled sadly, and his light frustration morphed into concern as he saw her pyjamas and tear stained face.

"Why do you come here, then, kitten?" he asked, beckoning her to sit next to him. Despite the flirtatious pet name, there was only friendliness behind the

"It started this year. I like it, it gives me space to think."

"Ah."

"Yourself?"

"I'm babysitting Teddy whilst Remus and Tonks have a night off."

"Here, in the astronomy tower?"

"You're surprised, aren't you? After my family?"

"A little. But the stars are beautiful."

He nodded, stroking Teddy's hair. "When I was little, before I really had any troubles with my mum and dad, Regulus and I used to sit out on the roof, watching the stars. We'd get into terrible trouble if we were caught, but we used to sneak out through a window and climb up there, and just watch them together." He sighed, frown creasing slightly.

"It continued up until the night before Regulus' first day at Hogwarts. Mum had been really cruel, threatening to disown me if Reg wasn't in Slytherin. I had a fight, saying all sorts of stuff I'd been holding back all year. It was incredibly satisfying whilst it lasted, but once I shut my mouth and the fact that I'd said all of those things sunk in, it all…" He trailed off painfully, hands subconsciously brushing his back, where Hermione didn't doubt that scars lay.

"You don't have to say anymore, if you don't want to. I think I can guess what must have happened." Hermione spoke carefully, stopping his hands and squeezing them gently. She released them, and they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, staring at the sky.

"So, what do you need to think about tonight?" he started, slowly. "Has Snape done something?" His tone was protective, and as grateful as Hermione felt for the support, the knowledge that she was the one in the wrong brought tears in her eyes again.

She wiped them away furiously, but Sirius saw, and brought her into a hug.

"Shh. It's okay." He said, as she started sobbing into his shoulder. This was rare, for the young witch who was normally so formidable to be here, weak and vulnerable. "You don't have to say what's bothering you, if you don't want to."

"I've just had enough of this bond. He's been lovely, but I can't help feeling so trapped." She cried, and his grip tightened.

She pulled away, transfiguring a tissue and wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry," She said, "I'm just a bit all over the place at the moment."

"That's okay. You can say, though, if something happens. You can tell Remus or Tonks too, if you don't want to tell me. And I'm sure Ginny is there for you, but you know that already."

"I can do some research, if you like. At Grimmauld there's bound to be information on bonds, maybe there is a way to remove them?"

Hermione smiled gratefully, running her face as Sirius stood, lifting up Teddy carefully, trying not to wake him. "I'm going to go back to drop Ted off now, but I'll leave my floo on if you need anything." She nodded, bidding him goodnight.

And so, three became one, and Hermione reverted her attention back to the moon and stars, and placed a hand on her stomach, wondering what lay beneath.

She knew the spell that would show her. It was tempting, and she almost refrained from using it, but her curiosity made her give in.

She lifted up her jumper, and her shaking wand's tip loomed above her stomach. She murmured the spell, and braced herself, watching as the tip turned green.

Positive.

She heard a gasp from behind her, and discovered Ginny, stood in the doorway, hand over mouth.

Hermione quickly shoved her jumper down, getting up and trying to run to the door, away from her friend.

"Sirius came and got me. Said you were upset…" Hermione said nothing, mouth open in shock.

If it had been Sirius, or Remus, or Severus who had burst in, they could have been fooled, not having used the spell before, not knowing it existed.

But this was Ginny, her best friend. She knew she couldn't hide it from her.

"Hermione?" the younger witch whispered in horror, grabbing her arms to stop her leaving. "You aren't?"

And then, for the second time that night, Hermione Granger burst into tears.


	16. Important: Please Read

p class="MsoNormal"Hello readers, long time no update! Sorry it's been so long, time has gotten away from me and lots of things have gotten in the way, but I'm finally back. To be honest, I'm not that happy with this story at the moment, and one of the reasons I haven't updated is that it got so I was just updating for the sake of it, with no real thought or care into where the story was going, and I kept getting terrible writer's block. So now I want to finish this story, I'm going to edit the chapters slightly to make the plot better and give it more direction. Thankyou so much to everyone who has stuck by this story, I promise I'm going to try to make more frequent updates from now./p  
p class="MsoNormal"thankyou, /p  
p class="MsoNormal":)/p 


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